Hmm.
HMMM.
Just suffice it to say that I went and did it again. Procrastinated on my assignment for various reasons. Think this time 'round, God let me reap what I sowed. I didn't sow much work, so I'll not reap much results. Quite disappointed, but better the pain now than in future.
Didn't manage to complete my programming assignment on time, and I think it's not good to ask my lecturer for an extension, especially when we were given FOUR weeks to do it. And I spent less than a week on it. My attitude was, I can rush these things. Pride and stupidity are a really potent combination.
I fear I'm not being sensitive any more to God's corrections.
Oh! Just now, my eyes fell on Psalm 32:8-9... wow, so touched. God really reminded me very gently how He is instructing and teaching me in the way I should go. He also promised that He will counsel me and watch over me. Wah. I feel super-touched. That He's not just giving me instructions and corrections... He is also watching over me for my good. My Daddy cares for me incredibly, beyond reason!
He said to me too: "Do not be like the horse or mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you."
These words spoke exactly to my procrastination and laziness. His will is that I shouldn't be blur like sotong, just nuah-ing and floating around, doing things only when people PUSH me to do them. (Yeah, my bros and sisters and project mates and ministry team have been pushing me to complete my stuff on time.) But He wants me to walk in His ways and to be blameless in everything I do.
I must treasure these words of His! I must not let them fall to the ground by ignoring them.
Thank You. Please correct me Lord!!! I really want a soft heart to be corrected by You daily. Your corrections are life and food to my soul!
In retrospect, I'm very touched still by how deep His care and concern is for me. Had quiet time - thank God for Huanyan who advised me to spend some quiet time with Him, when I was stuck and s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d on my programming assignment. Think He spoke to my heart, because I was also feeling very stressed by a lot of work, especially outstanding work yet to be done.
From Psa 65, which I read during my QT:
"[You] who stilled the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, and the turmoil of the nations..."
Because my heart was feeling like a storm-tossed sea.
"You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly..."
You care for us... and You water and enrich our lives abundantly.
And also how He encouraged and supported me through my bros and sisters and my parents in small but sweet ways yesterday and today.
My ma and pa for their help - e.g. my ma making noodles for me, even giving me $50 for taxi fares so that I can save time travelling to school... wow, this is REALLY love in action. my dad asking me how it's going, and hugs too.
Huanyan for his free backrub AND his presence - I really have so much to learn from this bro's willingness to serve and bless others so readily even in things that he doesn't always enjoy doing... (incidentally, touch AND quality time are my secondary love languages. Yep, 2 secondary love languages. Haha... I am BLESSED!!! So he is a DOUBLE BLESSING to me!!! Haha... like McSpicy Double - as Guanrui would say, "Feast!!!")
Calyn for her very, very, very touching prayer...
Hongtao's simple words of encouragement - his presence really cheers me up every time I see him.
YF, as always, asking me how things are going.
Guan and Jitsy for their "jiayouing" and "How's your programming assignment coming along?".
Xinying for her noticing my stressed face, and asking me how I am. Small thing, but it touched me a lot too.
JOHN!!! Ah yes!!! For his so cheerfully going down to McDonalds to help me get a Big Breakfast Meal in the morning... it really touches me a lot too!
Jiahao, for his presence... I feel so warmed every time he comes down to HQ. Haha...
My shep and Weizhu for their simple words of care and concern. And Peter's timely advice to me to go get some sleep.
Jitsy especially for her encouragement message - it was VERY encouraging and TIMELY. Just after I prayed, she dropped me a beautifully handwritten note with this verse: Psa 139:9-10.
"If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."
So many blessings from God through them! How not to be joyful even with my crappy results?
Yet, feel quite ashamed in a way. Jesus said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.
Oh, also realised I've been judging how much others have given to me instead of looking to see how I can give more to others. But on the other hand, haha, I have to give them a chance to give to me too, so that they can experience the joy of giving first-hand! :D
Anyway, I can learn so much from each and every one of them, how they gave to me... tat I may better bless others in return! :D
And oh I'm reminded too. Even the smallest thing that all my bros and sisters did for me, Jesus will never ever ever forget. In some small, tiny, indiscernable way, their tiny acts of love and kindness are seeds in my heart, planted by Christ Himself. Seeds sown in a second, but ... remembered for all eternity.
Amen.
*******
On a practical note, I've just realised that my dear CG bros and sisters have been getting awfully stressed by all the work that we are getting. Can see the tiredness in their faces. Wonder how can I bless them?
Dunno how, Jesus, but this verse just came to mind (timely haha): "Freely you have received, freely give!"
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