"That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"
Today was a Kancheong Day. Wah... I was very kancheong because my program kept on crashing when I was trying to execute it, even though I had prayed to God to help me do my lab assignment - I really need help to do it well in order to get the grade I need. Felt very frustrated and bordering on panic. Didn't help that my classmate doing the same lab as me was getting quite anxious too. But I remember praying to God yesterday that I really want to grow in faith, to have a faith that pleases Him - not to be kancheong like how I was so anxious last Monday... I don't want to fail God's test for me this time 'round!
But think God gently reminded me of what He had said through Claramae yesterday during service and the sermon about guarding my heart - don't fall into the sin of not having faith in God. "...and everything that does not come from faith is sin." (Romans 14:23b)
So took time to pray - just shared with God how frustrated I felt - and well, no reply. Just a silence. So decided to call a friend for help. Found out that he was in the media lab. And - my friend said that the lab TA was in the same lab as him. He passed the phone to the lab TA. And the lab TA said that he was in the media lab. So decided to rush down immediately to the lab to consult him.
Then... I saw another friend there. He was very willing to help me with my lab assignment, and even copied a very useful piece of code for me - without me asking him! Wow... praise God! :D He is so faithful - as always! :D
So, I really feel very encouraged - and grateful to God that He really has mercy on me even though I lack so much faith... that He has helped to stretch my faith in Him in this area. I do need to remember - I'm still very slow to learn - that God is present even in the perfect storms - and sometimes He guides us through "forcing" us through various hardships and difficulties... we really need to resist the temptation to blame God and make the decision to trust Him, even when it looks like everything has gone to sheeeeeeeet. ;) We need to guard our hearts, just like what Jasmine shared during the sermon yesterday.
And another thing that I learnt today was that panic can be very contagious. So I must guard my heart, lest I fall into the trap of panic and lose faith in God. When all the people around me (especially the non-Christians) are losing their heads and getting stressed, guard my heart - I still have Jesus with me.
I think this is one way in which God wisely takes out our hardened heart of stone and gives us a new heart of flesh, just as He promised the hardened Israelites more than two thousand years ago.
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