"This poor man called..."

Just feeling sad and tired.

Finished the HopeKids service, thank God we finished the MM. Meg told me Hong Teck was having "cold sweat", 'cos he'd never done an MM so late before... oh, actually, he did so before for the church anniversary multimedia - that was 8 years ago - his team had to work 7 days non-stop, all the nights through, on a computer that they literally assembled together using some old Macromedia Authorware.

Wow, thank God for Adobe Premiere. And for HT's systematic planning, which really helped to speed things up a LOT. I learnt something new from that experience, which is, plan the sound-tracks - including all the sound effects - because the sound-track is SO central to any decent MM clip worth its salt. Once the sound-track is done, it's simply a case of putting in the visuals, which, frankly, IMO, is just the icing on the cake.

(To a certain bro: Oi, the plant how???)

Anyway... I just felt drained after the service. Tired out by the kids. Disappointed with one of the kids too. And feeling lonely again. But thank God for the other bros n sisters, esp Elton, serving in HopeKids - the poly grp are a very lively bunch, even if most of their dialogue is in Mandarin with a healthy dose of Elton's Cantonese. (He sings real good Cantonese, mind you.)

But now, I'm in front of the computer, and just so tired, lonely and fearful.

I want to pray. Somehow my soul feels much better, feels His presence nearer, when I pray. And how I need His presence in my heart right now.

This thought keeps on coming to my mind: "God knows I have done so little for Him." William Carey said this, and I keep on thinking this thought too.

Sigh.

How I wish I can do more for Him. What really have I done for Him? He gave His life for me... but all I have to offer Him are these poor rags of my life that I have, all 8 years of them.

I do wish I could offer Jesus something better than what I have now.




God knows I have done so little for Him.

This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

However, I'm reminded of the poor widow with the 2 copper coins, and Jesus remarking that she gave much more than a thousand rich men combined. And that, as Peter had shared with me before, "For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not what one does not have."

And I'm encouraged! One more verse to pull me up and help me move on again: "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Yes, I'll look up to Jesus as I feel His presence, by faith, as He watches me type this blog entry.