HopeKids - My first formal scolding + male reflections...

I also did my first formal scolding today. Was very concerned about one of the boys - he was kicking and punching a lot of children, and even teachers. Prayed to God to help me correct him. I was quite scared, actually, because I was wondering how he would take it. After class, when he disobeyed my instructions, I, after some chasing around, managed to corner him. Knelt down and told him firmly that he cannot keep on doing what he's doing, including disobeying teachers, and how he's making his mum worried by the way he behaves.

After I finished, let him go. Then my older teacher, who had been observing what I was doing, gave me her feedback. The first one was that she observed that the boy was not looking at me straight in the eyes, but ignoring me with his eyes. So when I want the kid to understand what I want him to say, I need to get him to look at me in the eyes literally.

And there are 2 ways to do it: 1) earn his trust first by making him feel cared for first. Or, 2) be the ultimate fierce teacher.

She also said that I need to be firm, but not harsh, in the way I use my voice - use my voice less, and gesture more, using my facial expressions to convey my instructions. This'll take a lot of practice too.

But she affirmed me for bringing the boy to a corner and scolding him in private, because that would help to protect his privacy and not make him feel that he'd lost face, and for my taking initiative to give feedback to the children... and that she can see that I really care for the children. Wow... thank God, feel very encouraged by this affirmation! :)

Really want to thank God for His answering my prayer this morning before I went for HopeKids. I was very tired, and quite discouraged, felt that the kids don't respect me very much, so asked Him to send me help. And He did! He sent me this older and wiser teacher who is more experienced... yay! what a blessing being able to learn!!!

Some personal thoughts on this experience:
For a male teacher, I have the role of establishing discipline. Honestly, I was really not enjoying myself when it comes to enforcing discipline - because it means that I have to be strict and firm, and I'd rather like the children to like me instead. But, well, it'll be a lose-lose situation in that case, because children naturally look up to older males as authority figures, and they WILL test the limits of the male teachers' authority - and if he's too nice or weak, they'll climb over him (sometimes literally).

Thought later about it. It's really not pleasant disciplining a child, but now understand better my earthly father's heart and my heavenly Father's heart why they discipline me... it really does hurt them more than it hurts me actually. It's TIRING to discipline them, but it is SO critical - because if we don't discipline them, later on they will suffer in life... and discipline is a holistic thing as well. We need to be watchful over every area of their lives - from personal hygiene to safety (I really FREAKED out when I saw a girl play with a pair of scissors - and she almost poked her eyes!!!) to social skills (thou shalt not punch thy neighbour...) and situational awareness (when you step on your neighbour's knees accidentally...) to consideration for others (screaming really hurts other people's ears)...

Wow... come to think of it, I'm glad for the blessing of discipline. It really is love in action - tough love, yes, but a love by any other name.

And that is one reason why I really really love and treasure working with children, because it helps bring me closer to Daddy's own heart, to understand how He sees and loves us.

Also too, I can see how God is training me in leadership skills. Though I naturally am NOT a leader - I'm really bottom-of-the-bucket when it comes to leading people, looking back, I'm grateful to Him how He has been training me, like how He trained David and Moses to lead a nation by having them take care of sheep (literally) for years before He called them to serve in greater capacities.

So I can see how He has been using me to lead in very simple things like leading Holy Communion washing-up after service... something that I keep on telling the CGs who come to wash up that what they are doing may seem like a very small thing in their eyes, but in the eyes of Jesus, it is NEVER too small for Him! Amen! And now I'm training up somebody to takeover me in MM... and also learning to be more confident and skillful and courageous in leading children... which makes sense - if I can't lead even a small kid, how can I lead a full-grown adult next time?

Feel quite scared in a way when I see all the challenges coming up, but I don't have much of a choice actually... I'd rather stay back and support from within my comfort zone, but God has better plans for us men than to be emasculated by spiritual apathy and passivity. He wants us to rise up, be bold, and take possession of the God-given roles of manhood that He has already intended for us to seize and take hold of! To cheong, in other words.

Something I really carry as a core value in this final lap of my NUS ministry chapter is that I must be like the seed that dies... that means I must train people to replace me until the NUS ministry doesn't need me anymore! ONLY then will I have truly lived... think that is the essence of what Jesus taught when He said that "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a seed." No, I want to fully convert all the God-given potential of my life into growth... to empty myself fully till I'm no more a seed - completely gone! Only then can the tree come to be.

What do you guys think? Correct me if u feel tt there's better thoughts... =)