(NLT)
"Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive[a] so that you will have the right response for everyone."
(AMP)
"Behave yourselves wisely [living prudently and with discretion] in your relations with those of the outside world (the non-Christians), making the very most of the time and seizing (buying up) the opportunity.
Let your speech at all times be gracious (pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it were] with salt, [so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to answer anyone [who puts a question to you]."
(NIV)
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
Full Commentary on Paul's Evangelistic Concern for Outsiders
Paul's opening exhortation is framed by two imperatives, both of which convey his deep concern to evangelize the lost. The community that God has called out of the world for salvation by the gospel (see Rom 10:8) is called in turn to preach that gospel; evangelism is the church's vocation. The work of evangelism includes prayer (4:2-4) as well as proclamation (4:5-6)--a point already highlighted in the letter's opening words (1:5-9). In fact, this concluding passage connects well with Paul's opening thanksgiving (1:3-12). So Paul's exhortations to pray for the church's mission (4:2-4) and to be wise toward outsiders (4:5) form a sort of bookend, paired with its opening thanksgiving, bringing into even clearer focus the purpose of the letter's main body. That is, Paul's interest in correcting the errant philosophy concerns the church's vocation; the Christless teaching and ascetic morality of the "hollow and deceptive philosophy" (2:8) threaten the church's evangelistic mission to outsiders.
[...]
Paul's second imperative to the Colossians is to be wise in the way you act toward outsiders. The word outsiders generally refers to non-Christians (1 Cor 5:12-13; 1 Thess 4:11-12). In rabbinical use, however, it may include believers who stand outside correct teaching. Perhaps Paul has both groups in mind, including those persuaded by the false teachers along with the lost of the world, since the ministry of evangelism includes both. Moreover, he would have been especially concerned about the negative effect immature believers have on the lost. Since we authenticate God's salvation by our lives and words, we can either impugn or enhance God's reputation by bad or good example (Lohse 1972:167). How many non-Christians justify their unbelief by testimonies of a Christian's hypocrisy! To excuse our sins by referring to our spiritual immaturity or by pointing out the Lord's perfect love will simply not do. In Christ's earthly absence, the church remains the conduit of the word of truth on earth, for good or for ill. If we remain in vice and despair, without any indication that God's grace makes a difference, who but the fool will believe the claims of the gospel? For this reason Paul calls us to life grounded in a wisdom that knows God and remains committed to the trustworthiness of the gospel (1:9-10; compare 1:28; 2:3; 3:16).
With respect to the ministry of evangelism, the exhortation to be wise suggests two concerns. First, the wise community exploits every opportunity it is given for evangelism. Watchful prayer makes one keenly sensitive to people and setting. In fact, O'Brien suggests that the middle voice of the verb make the most signifies "the personal interest" or involvement of believers in their environment (1982:241). But the reason for our activism is pointed and clear: this is a call not so much to be a "good Samaritan" as to share with Paul in the work of evangelism. Second, the wise community, eager to proclaim the gospel, engages the lost in conversation [that is] full of grace, seasoned with salt. This last phrase, so graphic and memorable, captures the wisdom of ancient rhetoric: ideological substance without personal style fails to convince people. If a believer, who has a wonderful story of conversion to tell, cannot tell it in a "salty," interesting way, the story will not be heard. Of course, lively stories, like "fine-sounding arguments," are sometimes used in the service of lifeless substance. In this case, however, the communication of the "word of truth" is undermined by uninteresting or incoherent words.
Paul may have mentioned grace to link human graciousness, a characteristic of effective communication, with divine grace. In this sense, the gospel of God's saving grace will find its audience through a gospel ministry characterized by a generous civility (see 3:12). The spiritual triumphalism that some evangelists exemplify today not only fails to edify the church but fails to attract an unsaved audience as well. Yet their rhetoric is often "salty," full of vibrant images and pungency, hardly dull and never boring. Evangelists know that an audience will never be attracted to new life by lifeless words, old cliches and tired slogans! Paul's wise exhortation is to bring humane graciousness together with carefully chosen words in our preaching ministry.
The meaning of the final phrase, so that you may know how to answer everyone, depends on whether it expresses the result of "gracious and salty" proclamation or describes its occasion. Probably the latter option fits this context best: the evangelist who makes the most of every opportunity finds a "gracious and salty" answer for every sincere query or malicious challenge facing the church.
I was thinking about this passage. Think one struggle I have with connecting with quite a number of non-Christians is simply because of my natural introversion. Hmm... to be frank, I don't think it's really a lack of topics in a way... but rather, it's just that personality-wise, I'm kind of different from the mainstream guy crowd. :)
Haha. Guess some people who know me will assume that it's because I'm socially immature. Umm, not really lah. It's a personality thing per se. God has helped me grow already in this area of my life. I was thinking of one brother who was talking to me the other time, and I could sense that he had a certain perception of me, since he knows me from NUS days. (Truth be told, I found his style of re-connecting with me quite... strange. :P So felt rather awkward. But I think he was sincere all the same.)
Still, I wonder how can I grow in this area of having a more 'flavourful' style of conversation. Believe this is part and parcel of the Christian life. Gracious speech, salted with lovely words make for an impactful conversation. Not really in the topics themselves per se (you could be talking about very surface-level topics), but in the way you think and present yourself.
I've been thinking a long time - in presenting myself to other people, how should I present myself? I think the old advice "Just be yourself" doesn't really cut it well. Because there are so many aspects that you can present of yourself - and they are all true of you... how should one therefore present his/her first impression to others?
And the second, third and so on?
Or should you connect in a way that you think the other person is comfortable with?
Or is it realistic to even think about what style a person is comfortable with? Example: if I meet a hip-hop guy, it would be very odd if I went, "Fo' shizzle, dude..." He'd look at me as if I'd swallowed a cow in front of him.
Perhaps the best style that works for me so far is how I connected with the bunch of youths last time. I didn't really take the initiative to get to know others - instead I waited for the more friendly boys to say hi to me. Then just be cool and sure of myself lor. Haha. Treating them to Big Macs helped a lot too. And having a laptop wowed them a lot too. LOL. Using my worldly wealth to win friends. In their eyes I had made it.
But what can one do if he's not the same social status as compared to the others? I reckon the way we carry ourselves, and the way we speak, then, will do more for us.
After reading the above Bible passage, I am starting to see that you don't need to be a loud, outspoken or sanguine person to speak graciously, with flavourful words. In fact, perhaps the quieter ones may have an advantage in this area, for they would tend to think more carefully before they speak.
So I don't have to make a lot of conversation. (Thank God...) But the Bible says that I should make every one of my conversations gracious and delicious to listen to.
Gosh. This is a big challenge for me to grow in. But thank God He hasn't left us alone. :) May He anoint the words of my tongue, and may it be the pen of a skillful writer. Aye-men.
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