Ministering to Socially Immature People

So, I think now, I can understand better, and am in a better position, by God's grace, to minister to the socially inept people. They are NOT to be condemned.

Often, I hear some brothers and sisters speaking in a manner that, perhaps, has the air of "we are better than them". That makes me feel quite uncomfortable.

Perhaps one reason why they do what they do is simply because they are ignorant. If Christ prayed for the Roman soldiers who were nailing him to the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," then shouldn't we therefore pray the same thing? Shouldn't we be moved by the love of Christ to go forth and speak the truth in love to them, to guide them... to be a Barnabas to them? They may became future Pauls, for all you know.

"So from now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

Of course, some people are still like that, because they don't want to listen. But why? Is it because of pride? Perhaps. Then they have a BIG problem - one that goes far beyond social immaturity.

But there is another option to consider. Perhaps it is because they simply don't understand the true extent of their ugly behaviour. Perhaps others have criticized them so much that they respond by withdrawing automatically from the hurts.

Perhaps their hearts are sincere, but this is the only way that they know, due to their family backgrounds. Then are we to condemn them? I think we might as well as condemn them for the way that their faces look. First look at the heart, then fix the behaviour.

Perhaps it's a potent brew of all these things. Pride, ignorance, hurt, family background, personality, mindset, faith, gender even... all these things combine to form a very complex situation. Occasionally more complicated than the software I work with. ;)

Another sister was sharing to me about someone we know in common. This person, she said, behaves in a such-and-such way. After listening to her concerns, and her suggestions about how the person's behaviour can be changed... I told her (paraphrasing), "This person came from a broken family. His/her parents didn't teach him/her proper social skills."

Her eyes opened wide in surprise. Then she fell silent, and slowly nodded her head in understanding. I think maybe she had a better understanding now.

Still, that's why I'm concerned about the fact that even within the church, we still admire people who seem to have everything together. We admire those whom we think very socially mature and very eloquent. In that case, we would have never regarded John the Baptist as the messenger of the Messiah, and we would have despised and rejected Him "who had no beauty or majesty, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, He was despised, and we esteemed Him not."

We so often scold people for their behaviours, rather than their hearts' attitude. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I guess I feel very strongly about this, because... I have gone through both sides. Some years ago, I had a shepherd who focused on the way I presented myself, and in appearances in general. I did grow in external behaviours, but that only served to increase my pride and I started looking down on others whom I thought less spiritual than me. I even looked down on Weizhu last time...

But in the days to follow, God humbled me and then He gave me Weizhu (ah, the beauty of God's irony) and Peter to be my shepherds... =) and they taught me that God looks at the heart first and foremost. And the healing and growth began from there. I keep on thanking God for them, because they have impacted my life so, so much... because they made sure that I was right in heart with God first and foremost. Skills, looks, positions - they did not focus on these things at all, at all, at all - and they did well and good. God used Weizhu to show mercy to me, and Peter to show grace to me. And I don't use "mercy" and "grace" lightly - they really were channels of God's love to me.

As for my other shepherd? Well, he's not in Hope anymore... I'm not sure where he's gone now. I'm a bit sad when I remember him. But it's ok. :) God understands, even though I don't.

What else can I say... God is good, even to a sinner like me. =) Just hope and pray that I can help infuse Christ's mercy and grace to fellow sinners like me. Hee.