Another Growing Burden

I think there's a growing burden in my heart to see the men in my church strongly and effectively discipled. Felt very burdened yesterday when I was talking with two dear sisters, and they were sharing about the social immaturity of the brothers from a particular group. But haha thank God they said that the brothers from some other groups in our church are very, very socially mature, not to mention godly too. :) And how two brothers from the same family, but one came from a particular ministry, the other straight from Malaysia... the two are very different in how they relate with the sisters. So it's very much a cultural thing, it seems.

Still, I'm amazed that God has been increasing my burden to see the men discipled. I'm amazed, because I know He has called me to minister to the children. And yet, I also feel a deep burden - it's the kind that keeps you awake at night at times - to see my fellow brothers in Christ grow stronger and stronger together.

Maybe God is calling me to minister to the men too. Amazing, because knowing myself, and those who know me, I'm really less than the least of all God's people. God knows, and the people around me know, how socially inadequate I can be. Immature, I reckon, to a certain extent. But I think, and thank God, that the first step towards growing in maturity in anything is to realise that we are not mature. Praise the name of the Lord!

I am so amazed.

To minister to the boys, to minister to the men. Touching the young and serving the old. From generation to generation. I'm just so amazed to see what God can do, even through someone like me. God really chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong, the foolish things... the things that are not, to shame the things that are.

I am so, so amazed.

Maybe it's also because of my past. That I grew up in a household where my mum effectively called the shots. And my dad can be quite emotional. And truth be told, I think that is not particularly beneficial for the healthy growth of any child, boy or girl. A man really is called to be the head of his house - not an emotional or abusive or domineering head, but a wise, firm and gentle head.

And my social immaturity in the past too. The pain of non-acceptance that I experienced, even from within the church. But... the grace that I received, from people around me who loved me enough to accept, appreciate and even admire me, though I was so unlovely - that grace is so deep, amazing and powerful.

I am so, so, so amazed.