Hmm... was exchanging messages with a dear bro just now, and I reflected on my spirit, and the tone of my words, and wondered whether he understands where I'm coming from, my heart and intentions. Frankly, I'm worried that he might misunderstand - all the more since it's just words that we are exchanging over SMS - which lend themselves too well to misunderstandings.
I wonder what the Bible says exactly about all these daily situations and things - now not only for myself, but also, how do I communicate and explain to him the principles of the Bible clearly in a way that he can understand, consideration of an appropriate time to share, etc.
Frankly, it's been quite scary, this responsibility to help feed my younger bro God's Word in a good way - it's all so easy for me to fall into the trap of stuffing him full of Bible verses without giving him time to digest and understand. I'm scared that I'll stuff him too full, and so scare him off.
And God knows how impatient I can be. But very thankful for His wonderful grace to me, even in my halting, stumbling attempts (trembling on the inside, really unsure if what I'm sharing is relevant to him), he said thanks for being so patient in explaining to him. (It really warmed my heart when he said that.) Think it's really a miracle, because I know that this must be the work of the Holy Spirit in me, because by nature, I really am not a patient person at all. (Just ask my family!)
Hmm... I think it's also starting to reach that stage where, after spending quite a bit of time together, we start knowing each other better. Sometimes we know more than we want to know. Personally, I think we're reaching that stage where we wonder about each other, "Why (fill in your favourite phrase here) is he doing that kind of thing?" That point where subtle irritations start taking on that extra edge. Think that point is where Satan sees the opportunity to strike and sow seeds of discord, stopping the friendship from going deeper.
But again, the Word of Christ alerts and defends us against these divisive tactics of the devil. "Love one another... pray for one another... bear with each other... forgive each other as the Lord forgave you..."
Think it's also a priceless time of experiences. Experiences of groping your way along in the dark as you try to figure out what to say next, as you try to understand and relate with the other bro, as you desperately try to sense God's leading when to share and when NOT to share. And sometimes experiences of learning just to relax, trust in God and not worry so much for him.
*******
Oh, and the epiphany?
Well, it was this: There will be times that, for all my best efforts, I fail, and make a Very Stupid Mistake in taking care of him. And Jesus would have forseen that already, way, way in advance.
And 1 Corinthians 2:1-4 came to mind as I was writing just now:
"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. (I think what I learnt from this verse was that I should resolve to keep the message of Christ simple and clear, as I share with him.)
I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. (Amen... That is what I so feel now.)
My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power,
so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."
What a relief and joy it is to know that He knows that I would have made all these mistakes, and yet, He actually chose to choose me.
John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit — fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.
Wow...
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