To remind myself:

In future, when making appointments/booking for equipment and I need to cancel it, I die-die must let the person in charge know, by hook or by crook!

Frustrated at my own stupidity and irresponsibility. I'm so sorry Jesus.

*******
Reflection:
Every inch of me was crying out to make an excuse, to shift the blame on someone else. Even now I find myself trying to make excuses. God, the struggle against accepting responsibility for my own faults and failings is really hard, especially at times like this. Even now, I still don't like the fact that I sin - I struggle to accept the basic fact that I will sin, even when I don't want to.

It's moments like these that makes me want to cry out in anger against myself, asking God why I did such irresponsible things, and I wish I didn't make any mistakes, period.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart,
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."

But I need to remember that I must accept what the Bible says about me, not only what is pleasant, but what I need to hear - that I am a sinner, who has sinned and fall short of God's perfect standards - and am justified freely by Christ's blood for me on the cross.

Yet, there's this cry in my heart to be put right with God, a cry for perfection, a cry to be good, a cry to be holy, pure and blameless.

How I wish I was fully there! Yet...

Put your sadness aside, get up, and remember his forgiveness, YA. Move on, fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of your faith...

Remember! In your struggle against sin, you haven't yet resisted to the point of spilling your blood. And you've forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the LORD's discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, for the LORD disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son."

So don't be stumbled; just get up and run on again. Remember, all this is because of Jesus - and He chose to use a very imperfect person like me.

:)