Was reading Leanne's blog (do read it, it's very uplifting!), and one thing that I'm very inspired by is to see how she follows Christ, even though things are difficult for her.

Life doesn't seems to be smooth these few months, facing all sorts of difficulties.. last night a brother from RP asked me how many problems will I face per day? I couldn't count, I just know that God knows it well.. my attitude and character was greatly moulded... realise that sometimes I really take things for granted... it's only when I am about to lose it then I start to regret..

It has been 25 years of marriage but 8 years without communicating though living under the same roof.. and now going to come to an end soon.. witnessing my parents going through rough patch in their marriage and now going to put an end.. emotions welled up within.. I always thought there would be a way out.. however seems like I have to accept the fact and adjust my life.. and the role I play at home.. I start to miss the person who has always been protecting us and being a cheerleader in our life.. I start to miss the person who make effort to provide for our needs.. It is time to adjust my expectation too...

I realised something change within my heart through such circumstances, I start to be more expressive in showing my love and concern to my siblings more. Our relationship had also improved greatly. I wonder is it too late.. its only when I realise that I am about to lose one family member from the picture.. certain thoughts just straightened out..

I know that everything is still within God's control.. without Him, I really think that I would have taken alternative path.. It is him who gives me hope and peace.. It is Him who gives me the strength and comfort.. I thank God that He provides me spiritual family and friends too.. that I could open up and share my life.

When I read that entry, I reflected, and realised that I've not been giving thanks to God very much. Oh dear. But actually, why not? :) I think one thing that hinders me from giving thanks to God is because I forget to step one step back and think about how God has been so good to me. And also because I fear that the thing I'm giving thanks for is simply a positive self-encouragement 'pep-talk' aka the NLP-style of "You Can Do It!" And also because sometimes I feel that I shouldn't be feeling so good about myself, or the good things that have been given to me...

But that's not biblical! Because Jesus tells us that he's come to give us life to the max! The devil wants us to be in depression, joylessness and despair - which will only lead to a vicious cycle of despair.

It's true that we should mourn over our sins, but you know what? We should mourn over the fact that our sins hurt God and people, but rejoice in the fact that God hasn't left us alone in our sins, but come to save us, to help us become the people that He wants us to be. :) And That Is A Very Good Reason To Rejoice! :D

Hee hee! And honestly, it's not wrong to think about how good God has been to me :) Oh yah! That reminds me. I was talking with this dear brother in Christ - he's a godly man, working as a magazine salesman in NUS Science Canteen - if you've seen a bespectacled Indian man about 30-ish or 40-ish sitting around at the magazine booth, that's bro Isaac.

I'm very struck by his thankfulness and pure faith in God - he served as a missions trip leader, and also is saving up for a Bible College education. Whoa. One thing that he told me last time was that it's very important to remember that God has been good to me. :) Simple words, but the way he said it, it's very profound. :) Wise words of wisdom.


So haha, a step back...

I can see how God has been working to shape me and prepare me the past few months... I think He's been showing me how my natural inconsideration turns others off, and He's not left me alone - because this inconsiderate attitude of mine is something that's very deeply ingrained in me for many years, so it's very hard for me to change on my own - but given me wonderful brothers esp Weizhu and Peter who have been helping correct me and help me practise thinking about others.

And I'm so glad, because I can see how I've been changing in this attitude at home. You know, recently, my parents got a dog. And the first day it was at home, it poo-pooed and urinated on the floor. *gasp* it was smmmmelly. But I helped to clean up the mess... and believe you me, that was something I would have never done before I became a Christian. :) And I'm so glad that I can be a good testimony for Christ at home, 'cos my mum was so pleased, saying that I'm very helpful. To which I said, "Thank GOD for that! :)"

Not that I'm trying to show off, but this is something that Christ has really changed in my life over the years.

And also so glad for the community of brothers who have been giving me great advice about my job search e.g. Wenjiang, Robert, Peter, Weizhu... I think I really don't treasure these brothers enough. Really thanks so much friends for your help... =D

And thank God also for the fellowship. God knows that I really treasure fellowship a lot. Hee, think I experience God strongly through the love of others. I remember Jan and Weizhu one time going all the way to help me get my laptop even without me asking them... to be honest, i don't usually feel very touched by acts of service, but this one... wow, it was so touching that I almost wept.

I remember also how Jan and a sister and me, we went to buy sandwiches and drinks (actually it was Jan's and the sister's idea) for Huili and another friend since they hadn't eaten anything the whole day... HL was so touched that she cried. :)


To be honest, sometimes I work so hard to serve, and I sit back at the end of the day, wondering if it was all worth it. Then I remember this verse: "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain."

For instance, recently I found out that a dear friend of mine had kept a copy of an affirmation that I had written for him/her about half a year ago. I was so touched, because it was titled "Affirmation For When I Am Down" and actually, I had felt very discouraged after writing that affirmation to that friend, because I didn't receive any words of thanks from that person.

But when I saw that my friend had kept my copy, and titled it "For When I am Down", whoa, I felt so encouraged, because I knew now that that affirmation letter which I had laboured over, was not in vain after all. :) It did its work after all...

And hee, was very pleasantly surprised to find that this friend had also kept a copy of some blog postings that I'd posted... :D

Praise God for His Word, for His faithfulness! So something I learnt from that experience was that if you don't receive recognition or thanks, even from other bros and sisters, for serving them, God may be using your labour to make an impact in their lives that you can't imagine. You may or may not know just how much impact you've really made in this life, but by the grace of God, you'll find out when you meet Jesus. :) "What we do in this life echoes in eternity." "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me."

Yup, just like what Qiaoping said, "Jesus will never forget what we have done." AMEN!


And also thank God for Zhiwei, YF and Flince too. :) Must really count my blessings for this very dear brother, ZW, for his friendship and patience with me even when I make mistakes. And also for YF - her wisdom is really a blessing... because I really don't know very much at times how to help Zhiwei experience God better, but YF accurately pinpoints the problems and the better perspectives. Thank God also for Flince, who has been a faithful comrade, and how he shares... you know, one thing that I've seen in his life is how he has grown in emphathy and understanding for others, and in meeting up and fellowshipping with others (something he readily admits that doesn't come naturally to him). It's really a joy to see how he has been growing more and more... oh yes, especially in taking initiative haha... fellow phlegmatics unite!

And also for Shawn. :) Besides Peter and HQ, I'm closer to this bro. Very blessed by how he can look out for the interests of others, and also his thoughtfulness and readiness to help meet the needs of others.

Hah, feel so much more joyful after typing all these thanksgiving. Really must practise more of God's Word - there is so much joy when you do what He says, because His words really are the way that life works best! :D