Friday, October 15, 2010

The Fear of Death: Not the Physical Kind

Just a sudden insight. I think one reason why I fear making people uncomfortable so much, is because I believe that the friendship is gone / less close once you make the other person uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, it is true in some cases. So that's why I'm sad.

I guess some wise person will remind me if the friendship is that fragile, then that person is not worth keeping as a friend in the first place. Still, I find it hard to let go of that person's friendship - even if I know logically that it's not worth keeping.

Maybe that is how the father of the prodigal son felt. He had every right to disown his son, ... yet he rejoiced when the son returned home. "My son was dead, and now is alive; he was lost, and now is found."

How I wish things were never like this. Every lost friendship is like a death to me, and in a sense, it's worse than a physical death. You can figure out why. :)

Just thank God He will never leave me nor forsake me.

After some further thinking (and reading Zachary's post on being realistic with people), I think we have to accept the inevitable facts of life, that there must be times when we have to say goodbye. But we can do so with grace, and a maganimous spirit. And to guard our hearts against worldly sorrow. Replace it with godly sorrow. Feel the sadness of whatever you did wrong, not that you did wrong per se, but that the other person was hurt. To graciously learn from it, and move on, committing the pain to God. And take heart, God can make dry bones live again.

And don't worry. God already knew in advance that you would fail. The other person would fail. But He calls us to make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy. No scorched earth campaign here... no fallout please!

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