Sunday, October 3, 2010

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."


As I look back on the past two weeks, wow, God did things in response to my prayers. Honestly, my prayers were not much - only short desperate bursts of "Lord, help me" prayers. Struggled with lowness of spirit, tiredness, discouragement and so on. But after so many spiritual battles like this over these dozen years as a Christian, I'm not surprised. When we are doing something worthwhile for God, the devil will try to hinder and delay us, like how Nehemiah experienced opposition. :) But I guess even when you experience battle, you're bound to get tired. Who doesn't? But we fight the good fight as a team, as a company.

And the moment we finished our debrief and heard Hong Teck announce the good news about the new kids, we cheered, and immediately, I felt a sense of victory replace the previous sense of discouragement. And 2 Cor 2:14-16 came to mind:
14 But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 15 For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16 To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." :)

Anyway, during the two weeks, I cried to the Lord, telling Him a lot of times how inadequate I felt. I even started falling into the trap of comparing myself with the others. But thank God for the various ways He encouraged me, and Hong Teck told me that well, if I'm discouraged, there's a deadly form of discouragement (comparing yourself with others), and a "healthier" discouragement where you simply feel inadequate. Healthier in the sense that your feelings of weakness and inadequacies can cause you to turn to God and cry even louder for Him. (Like how the blind beggar cried even louder to Jesus when others told him to shut up.)

And various other little ways which God kept encouraging me like a father cheering his son on during a marathon. Blogs, articles, etc. And on Saturday, when I felt really low, I decided to go for a longer QT with God. I looked at the books on my bookshelf and asked God, "Lord, I feel really discouraged. Do You have any book that You want me to read?" Then I scanned my bookshelf and saw this book "The Me I Want To Be" by John Ortberg. I was thinking of another book, but felt that God might be wanting me to read this book instead.

So I took the book along. After reading my Bible and singing a psalm to God, I read the book again. Wow. It really encouraged me very much. Basically it addressed all my concerns. Thank God so much.

Later on, I went to Elvis' place for his birthday celebration. Elvis suddenly took a book from his bookshelf and told me: "God told me to lend you this book." Surprised, I looked at the title. "Facing Your Giants" by Max Lucado. Wow. Another of my favorite authors. I read through it in a single night. Woah. It was about the life of David. It really ministered and encouraged me again. And also made me think and reflect about some subtle attitudes that I had been harbouring in my heart, but hadn't turned to fully face and confront. So I prayed to God to help me confront. And He did.

How great is God's faithfulness. How great is His love. And how great is the living hope that He offers to every demoralized, distressed and discouraged soul! :)

And had a mini-epiphany today. I realized the value of the scriptwriting and other creative stuff that I do every week for children's ministry can be summed up in one verse: "The Word became flesh..."

Meaning that for the little ones, as a servant of God, I help present the unsearchable riches of Christ in a form that can be acted out by real flesh-and-blood actors on stage, so that as it is written, "Those who were not told about him will see, and those who have not heard will understand."

:DDD thank You so much Father for teaching and discipling me in these truths. Learning to operate on YOUR terms, not mine. Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may know You better and continue to find favour with You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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