Reflecting on my character and heart responses using Saul's life as a mirror. Two things that caught my eye... how Saul responded proudly and acted "spiritually" in the midst of his successes. And how he responded emotionally when told by Samuel that God would take his kingdom away from him. His insecurity exploded to the surface, and he blubbered like a little boy, (literally) grabbing at Samuel's robe as he walked away.
Oh my God. I realised that my heart's natural response, if God were to rebuke me like this... I will respond in the same way like Saul. Not like Eli the high priest, who, when the young Samuel had to tell him the bad news that God would punish his family line for his failure to stop his corrupt sons from exploiting the people... he humbly replied, "He is the LORD, let Him do what is good in his eyes."
Wow. Eli's flawed but noble heart. (Though at the end of his life, my study Bible comments that Eli may have become too fixed on the ark of God, a religious symbol representing God's presence, rather than on the actual presence of God.)
And. Samuel's classic rebuttal to Saul's increasingly lame excuses:
"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams."
When I thought about this verse, and what does it reflect on my life... think the Lord is telling me that He may be happy when I serve in, say, a major event or do some really impressive multimedia to serve the church...
But you know what makes Him REALLY happy? Delighted?
It's when I choose to control my temper at home... it's when I choose to have a cheerful, uncomplaining heart to help my mum at home with the computer instead of grumbling in my heart when she calls me for the umpteenth time. It's when I choose to obey His word to take captive my thoughts... to think true, noble and lovely thoughts towards those around me instead of being judgemental...
It's when i decide to delight in His words...
It's not how much time I spend praying... but my heart's attitude when I pray. Do I eagerly await to listen to His voice, to wait for His reply - or His commands, whatever it may be?
*still thinking*
oh! :P i keep forgetting. looking through my study Bible notes... "Was Samuel saying that sacrifice is unimportant? No, he was urging Saul to look at his reasons for making the sacrifice rather than at the sacrifice itself."
Ah. My heart's motives. Pray to God to give me the right motives.
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