E.T. - Emotional Training

Thank God again. :D For the training I've been receiving in learning to grow emotionally stronger. As Paul exhorted Timothy, "Train yourself to be godly."

And thank God for this particular dear bro purposely stepping on my toes these few days (he told me he did it on purpose, 'cos he wants to help me grow emotionally stronger).

Very funny. I was exclaiming to him over breakfast today: "Yeah... I know... but at that time, I was thinking, 'What the...' when you were doing these things to me."

He chortled. "Yes, I know! It was written all over your face!"

Grinning, he said, "Consider it emotional BMT. Wahahaha!"

Aw gee. So terribly touching. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Haha! Just kidding. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiples kisses."

There were some situations today where I somehow came face-to-face with things that triggered off my insecurity into full-gear. And the surprising thing is, all these fears came one after another. All in the same day. Whoa. I think God must really have scheduled everything very neatly.

But looking back at today, am very thankful... that's precisely the whole point of training. If you want to complete a race, you have to endure the pain of training first. And the training is not easy. It will never be easy. Carrying your cross is never easy.

But God is peeling away the wicked scab that covers my fears. And I see more and more how I am deaddicted to approval from others. But Jesus loves me too much to let me stay in the pseudo-comfort zone of my running away from my fears. He convicts me and reveals to me more and more of my deep-seated insecurities, and makes me face my fears face-to-face. I cringe inwardly, but my Lord tells me this:

"Yeu Ann, if you really want to save your life, you must learn to deny yourself the right to be emotional and put this insecure nature of yourself to death, no matter how much it hurts you. Imitate My example in living - and if need be, in dying too - no matter how much it hurts you. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Wow. Persevere on, dear YA. May God equip you and grow you in the true boldness and confidence that comes from approaching His throne of grace in your time of need. Not to be afraid of what people think of you, but fix your eyes on Jesus, the Beginner and Completer of your faith. :D Amen!