Sian-ish

Wow, surprising. Stayed back during lunch, because wanted to just spend some time reading the Bible and talking to God. But surprisingly, bumped into my sup as I was going out, and we ended up going to the canteen. No talk about work, just a pleasant chat about his home country and so on. =)

Think just want to say thank You Lord for being with me throughout this time. it's been a rather sian-ish kind of thing today, b'cos really no tasks for me to clear today, apart from sticking up a bug tracker list. Been asking around if they need help, but really nothing else at the moment. So think I'll practise the application that we're working on.

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And just came back from praying during lunch time. Read "How People Grow", and reminded abt the value of suffering and pain (the good kind) - how essential it is for growth. Realised after my fears and so on, things gg like that during work, all these serve to drive me back to God, and go closer to Him.

But I feel sad b'cos must it be tt God has to keep disciplining me to come back to Him? "Those I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent."

But yah... I know my heart is so deceitful... but I long to be with You.

Oh dear. God, it's been an awfully dryish kind of time, where i really don't know how to express everything that's been in my heart and mind... tt's why I'm so thankful to You for the Holy Spirit.

Hold me close, Lord Jesus. It's gonna be a long while and I really need You.

Maybe why I'm feeling dry is because I don't think I've been hearing from You lately. Could it be because of my pride? Unconfessed sins? Unwilling heart to listen? Or something else?