The Kernel of Wheat That Falls To The Ground And Dies #2 - The Bursting

It's really been a week of stretching. Hee. Felt so stretched at times, when things seem so beyond me. Helping with the Commencement planning... only now do I really appreciate all the hard work that the other brothers and sisters put in in doing something as simple as finding a function room. Zewei and I were "phew"ing in relief after we managed to chope another room after on Sunday, we found out that the room that we'd booked at SPANS was UNAVAILABLE!

To cut a long tale short, praise God, our prayers were answered - very specifically in fact. We prayed for a room with all the basic equipment e.g. tables, chairs, LCD projector, AND a rental rate of $300 max.

And it really turned out to be! Except for one thing - the place's at Queenstown, not Orchard / City Hall area as we had hoped. Aiyah... we never prayed for the location... :P but thank God all the same, because Queenstown is not too far west. :D Plus, there's free shuttle service to the MDIS campus from Queenstown MRT some more. Praise God! :D

Hee. But yeah, through this time, it was really a period of stretching for me. Stretched in terms of relating with people of very different personalities, stretched in terms of being more resourceful and learning to think ahead to meet needs instead of just sitting around and waiting for orders...

Stretched too, because I was reminded (yes, thanks man, not realised, but reminded :P) once again of my wanting to please people, to meet their expectations. And how I have to keep crucifying constantly that part of me that wants to earn people's praises, instead of seeking God's praise.

And to add on to that, was the stress of my temp job which I was doing. Just felt so beyond myself many times, that I wanted to give up and surrender to disappointment and self-pity.

But God showed me a beautiful vision just now as I was praying for strength. He showed me a kernel of wheat that grew into a fully-fledged wheat plant, blooming with many, many little kernels in turn.

And I think the Holy Spirit explained to me what this vision means... this vision represents my current situation, the time of stretching that I'm going through.

The first part was the seed whose seed-coat was bursting, with its little shoot poking out of its shell. In the same way, the HS explained to me, it's a very uncomfortable process for me because the experiences that I'm going through are so DIFFERENT from the natural personality that I have, but it is necessary to go through this period of transformation, just like a shoot must grow out of its seed shell.

And it IS a transformation, because the shoot that grows out of the seed is so different from the seed that contains it. Likewise, the Lord is transforming my character, mind, strength and personality to be more and more the Yeu Ann that He wants me to be.

Then! The time will come when He will use my past pains and experiences to help me connect and influence many, many other people who have similar backgrounds like me... like the many little kernels hanging from the fully-grown plant. And so that's how God is working in my life at this moment.

Wow. I'm so encouraged by this vision that God gave me. :D It has given me renewed strength and peace to carry on. And I'm really very touched, because I know that even though the fellowship with the bros and sisters is much less now, Jesus's presence is even stronger. Wow! Never will He leave me, never will He forsake me! And His Word is ALWAYS TRUE! :D

Thank You, Daddy, for never leaving me, for never forsaking me all these years since the day I first asked You into my heart. Thank You so much God. :D

His love is warmer than the warmest sunshine
Softer than a sigh
His love is deeper than the deepest ocean
Wider than the skies
His love is brighter than the brightest star
That shines every night above
And there is nothing in this world
That can ever change His love...