It made me think about the end of my life, when I'll have to give a complete accounting to God for what I've done with what I have. It's that feeling when you complete a ministry, a phase of your life, and look back and wonder what kind of legacy you left behind - one built on gold, or one built on straw? One that will stand the test of fire, or one that will collapse and burn?
What kind of legacy will you leave behind with your life?
Hmm... had been praying that God will speak to me through these many letters, and think He impressed on my heart what I need to take note of:
- To grow in effectiveness in serving God and in discipling people
- To grow in wisdom in caring for others
- To grow in maturity of faith
1. Effectiveness in service and discipling - Many of the brothers and sisters commended me for my heart in serving God. While that's true, I realise that having a good heart is not necessarily equal to effective service - one that touches and impacts many lives.
Of course, it's much, much more important to have the right heart in serving God, but at the same time, we need to consider whether our acts of service have been effective in impacting people to experience God's love. While it's true that in heaven, we'll be commended by God for our faithfulness and purity of heart, one major reason that we serve God so hard here on earth is because we want to impact as many lives as we can for Christ. We are on a rescue mission. We want to save as many lives as we can. While one life is infinitely precious, many lives saved is even better.
It's like the doctor of a century ago, and the doctor of today. While a doctor in either age would be sincerely and wholeheartedly committed to saving lives, the doctor of today is doing better in a way, because he is more effective in saving lives due to more effective techniques and technologies.
2. Wisdom in caring - Quite a number of people have commented that I'm very sensitive to the needs of other people. One dear bro said that this sensitivity to others is a gift from God. Hee... Yah, it's definitely a gift from God, because by nature, I really am not a sensitive or caring person - without Christ, I'd be a heartless brute. Honestly. I'm so glad He's in my life, I'm so glad He came to save us.
However, I realise that this sensitivity doesn't necessarily translate into helping people feel cared for. Hee... guess this is like having sensitive radar that can detect hidden problems and needs in others, but even if you detect, you don't know how to handle these problems and needs well.
And that is what I want to grow in as well - wisdom to help people feel cared for.
Just like what Shirley shared with me so long ago from Philippians 1:
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
3. Maturity of faith - I chose to bold this, because one very wise sister wrote this to me: "I pray that you will mature in your faith..."
How true it is! Upon further thinking, I realised that while I have been serving hard and done my best in helping others feel cared for, one of the greatest hindrances in my being an effective discipler and influencer of others is the weakness and low maturity of my faith in God. When trials and tests come, I tend to feel very low and shaky in emotions and thoughts. A strong and mature Christian is one whose faith in God stands firm in the face of troubles and difficulties.
Really thank God for this word of wisdom, because I realise that this is one thing that is present in the lives of many of the more mature Christians: a strong mature faith in God that is able to stand steady and secure in the face of difficulties and testing.
2 Corinthians 13:5 says, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you — unless, of course, you fail the test?"
And 1 Peter 1:7 says, "These [trials] have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
And what Paul wrote to the Roman church helped me understand that our effective sphere of influence and service is linked to our measure of faith that we have:
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
So thank God for this truth - He helped me realise that I need to grow in my faith in God to face the more difficult challenges of the Adults ministry. Jinghe reminded me of this truth when we were chatting over dinner: "Adults ministry is a time when you'll really have to rely on God. It'll definitely help to build up your faith in Him."
I'm very encouraged and inspired by the lives of the mature bros and sisters in Christ. They don't let their difficulties and shortcomings pull them down. Instead, they choose to trust God's Word and stand upon the promises He has made.
So this shall be one of my New Year's resolutions that I am making: To grow in faith in God. It won't be easy, since James 1 tells me that if my faith is to be mature and complete, I must go through many testings and trials to prove it genuine. But I have faith in God that He is with me all the way, and I know that He will refine and purify my faith in Him. Forever God is faithful, forever God is strong! Forever God is with us, forever and ever! Amen! :D
Hee... so yup, these three things are what I aim to grow in spiritually this year, as I enter the Adults ministry.
However it's not only "I need to grow in this and that..." Some things to also thank God for, is that He's grown me in in the past 4.5 years, especially in growing in servanthood and humility. Really thank God for His grace to me, how He purified and refined me, pushing me to repent and grow in this area, to be more vulnerable and willing to accept correction and apply it to my life, even if it's painful. To learn to look outward, beyond my own little world, and look to the interests of others. And best of all, to learn to love God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and with all my strength. =)
So I guess the phase of the tertiary ministry has been something like graduating from the "Service" academy, where you learn to be a true servant to others. Hee, thank God for His patience with me, think I took a very long time to "graduate" from this "school"... 8 years liao.
But now it's time to move on to the "Discipleship" academy of life, where I learn to stand firm and not falter in my faith, to develop a deeper walk and faith in God - because when you walk right with God, inevitably, you become more and more like Christ, which will cause others to sit up and take notice of your life. It's exactly what Jesus said when he was asking his first disciples to follow him: "Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."
Amen! Yes, I want to follow Jesus, and to walk right with Him. Because in the Adults ministry, Rueyfong told me, you really need the opportunities, the "breaks", that only God can give. "Walk right with God, and He will walk right with you!"
Amen! :D
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