Reading a lot of books - The Art of Connecting with People

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Still got quite a bit more. Am reading a LOT of Christian books at the moment. Think it's a blessing that God gave me, the ability to digest huge chunks of readings quickly at one go, and still capture the gist of the readings, AND remember important words. :P

Hee, I think some people are jealous of me... ha, well, to be fair, I REALLY can't sing to save my life - somehow I can roughly recall a sound or a melody, but really can't recognise a song without hearing the words first. Unless it's the National Anthem... so see, God is fair after all. ;)

Hmm... back to the point. I think my reading diet's pretty unbalanced at the moment. Hee, need to read other books too... maybe I'll go back to the Central Library to look for that book, The Art of Connecting with People.

It's an excellent book - one of the best books that I've read last year. I first saw this book in SIM's Popular bookshop, and thought of reading it, so that I can learn better how to connect with people. Even though I only managed to read a few chapters before I had to return it, this is what I've learnt:

Do to others according to their druthers.

What that simply means is that every person is a unique culture unto himself/herself. The key to connecting with a person is to find his/her unique "wavelength" so that you can "sync" with that person. I was instantly reminded of what Weizhu commented last time that initially he didn't quite know what caused people to comment that he can click very well with a wide range of people. Until he thought about it, and realised that he naturally looks for common ground between him and the other person. I think the key word here is naturally. Because the art of connecting with people is a skill that can be learnt.

This book is great for you if you're the type who enjoys reading real-life stories - the writers have liberally sprinkled many case studies to show how different methods make or break a relationship.

So something that I picked up and have started applying into my relationships is to find out what his/her personality style is, his/her relational style is etc..., social style, dress sense, interests etc and try to match that "wavelength" as best as I can. (Well, for dress sense... I am a lazy bum, need to work harder on that!) It's hard work, seriously, and many times I don't do it, but think it's really very helpful. :)

Finally, there's this Bible verse that summarises up what the book teaches... it's found in the book of Philippians: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

What does it mean to "consider others better than yourselves"? The book advises having a genuine desire to want to learn from others. That really helps to warm up the person whom you want to build a r/p wif, simply because it really feels good to be asked to share more on what you're good at! :) And to "look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others", wow, a whole book could be written on the practical applications of this verse, which, well, I think this book has been written, and written very well. :)

So my recommendation - buy, beg or borrow this book - it'll help you a lot in building your relationships! :D

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