I just came back from the HopeKids camp. Woah. It was really fantastic, for me personally. 'Cos it's the first time I've helped out with in the HopeKids camp.

Hmm. A lot of thoughts about the camp - not as in wishing "it could have been better here, there"... but just amazed and thankful at all the little things. =) So many little lessons to learn here and there.

Camp Snippets!

The walks to the nearby pasar malam with Shunrong, a dear and godly brother, and a faithful and wise labourer in the Kingdom of God. =D The chats along the way, and also getting to know another fellow labourer - Celestine (who is Jiahui's sheep and in Andrew's unit). Though she's 8 years younger than Shunrong and me, I'm v blessed and inspired by her spiritual gracefulness and maturity - which comes from a faithful heart to study the Bible. Celestine shared with me on the bus back about what she learnt from the parable of the ten virgins. About how spiritual preparation, especially the understanding of the Word of God, cannot be borrowed or bought at the last moment.

Then also the hectic start to the children's camp. We got held up at the Malaysian checkpoint (it was a crush, man... the entire Family group was trying to squeeze through the checkpoints. Saw Hanhui and Shufen and their son Yu-En aka Joshua. :) Darn it, their son is just so adorable. Never cry some more. And Hanhui's a devoted dad, carrying and constantly kissing his son's botakish head. Yu-En smiled all around in that cherubic smile of his. Made an old man nearby start smiling, his grizzled countenance bursting into a bloom of a smile.

"And a little child shall lead them."

The little child led us by making us smile. That's an important principle I learnt in leading children, and by default, people in general. Everyone of us, like this little child, are children of God. Therefore we are leaders too. It's just how we choose to influence the moods, thoughts, behaviours and convictions of others.

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Then the camp itself. Leading a CG of Primary 6 students. 5 boys, 1 girl. It was difficult. The first time I led... actually, it was a case of the kids leading me around ... in circles. Second time... it was a rout. Because I was totally unprepared and just tried following the "standard plan" as suggested in the camp guide. Third time... it went better, because I prayed for God to help me in advance. But could have been better.

Fourth time, I finally wised up (and after asking Hong Teck for advice on how to be more effective). I started PREPARING. Prayed a lot and prepared a bit (because I had prayed a lot). But God really amplified my little bit of preparation. Was sitting in the loo, thinking and just waiting for God to give me an idea. No obvious idea came to mind, so I just thought systematically through all the possible options.

Then, an idea began to come hazily to mind. Aha! So started exploring more on that idea. Then it became more and more solid. Prayed again for guidance. And God did help me. So finally devised a game - which involved a lot of shooting of rubber bands... since I knew the boys had made their own toy guns to shoot rubber bands. :)

And thank God! My CG was really responsive after that. Still, it was the game they enjoyed most, but they didn't sit very still to listen to the lesson behind the game. Nevertheless, really thank God that the final CG activity was the one they enjoyed the most.

Thank God too for Shunrong who helped me run through my game plan and 'debug' it for any possibly troublesome areas. And for Hong Teck's great advice too.

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Personal thoughts: I think I can do so much more. Things like be on the lookout for continual evaluation and improvement points.

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Also thank God too that I got the opportunity to talk with Ian's dad. Not to talk to him about his son, but to get to know his dad better too. And it was really good. Because his dad shared with me his concerns for his son, and what he desires to see us teachers to do.

He said that we can help to prepare his son for the transition to secondary school life. (And when he said that, my own secondary school life flashed by my eyes. How I had left church in secondary school, but Jesus called me back and saved me.)

And every one of my boys and girls in the Primary 6 caregroup have their own worries and concerns. It's just that they may not voice it out clearly.

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And one of the boys, who is in Primary 1, has a habit of talking on and on and on about his own interests... to the point of driving the listener to distraction and irritation. So thought about it. I decided to start gently correcting the boy, instructing him to be more aware of his surroundings. And not to talk so much, but listen more... and see how he can help others too.

(And again, my own childhood flashed by my eyes again. How I would talk endlessly and irritate others, being unaware of my own surroundings... of my own self-centredness.)

And I am so amazed and grateful at how the Lord is able to use even my worst brokenness to be a channel to transform and make ready a generation for the Lord.

That we can see and correct potentially damaging habits taking root in the hearts and minds of the young ones. To instill in them a love and respect for the Word of God. And to help train them in the way they should go so that they will not have to struggle so heavily with sin's power and pain later on in life.

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And for the great time of fellowship with Shunrong. It was very, very encouraging to listen to him share with so much joy. =D This dear friend and bro is a godly role model for me to learn from. Hee. I told him he's a walking door into the kingdom of God. :) Meaning that people do get a clear idea and taste of what it really means to live a Christlike life. =) Which is very good!

And also for his sharing his conviction about being faithful with the little God has given him. So I can learn from him here.

Personally, he shared with me that God used me to help guide him in serving, in ministry. So I'm really thankful. =) Hee.

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I think all in all, God really challenged me a lot. Felt so stretched, yet grateful to Him. And also really appreciate my own CLs, who take a lot of time and effort to prepare. It's not easy at all.

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Also thank God for Matthew, one of the P6 guys. He's sharp and efficient, and he volunteered to be the junior leader to assist me. And oh man, he really was a great help. 'Cos he helped me on his own initiative to handle the admin work of collecting the books from the P6 pple, and even keep the other boys quiet. In fact, I only have to tell him to keep the other guys quiet, and he will do it.

So I learnt a lot from him in how to support my own CL.

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Personally, I feel even more humbled and inadequate for what God has called me to do. But thank God so much. This line from Shuyi's blog really encouraged me. I know it was Pastor Jeff who said it, but still, the reminder is very touching.

"Leadership in the kingdom is not a role, it is a divine calling to impact lives for all eternity. We need to handle this privilege with great honour and care."

It's not easy leading a group of Primary 6 students actually. They have this less-innocent outlook in life, their sinful natures become more obvious... but yet, they are also young children, where it is possible to genuinely connect with them.

Still, it feels so... I don't know how to describe it. Maybe I feel like a little ant in a huge army, and I wonder what I can do. But again, I must focus on God. He HAS given me superskills, supersmarts and superstrengths in order to superserve Him.

What shall I do, then, with the talents He has given me?

And really thankful that God gave me the superskill of writing scripts. People keep on telling me I wrote the script really well. Amazed! Yet without God in the picture, it all means nothing. That one, about serving God above people's approval, it spoke remindingly to me.

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Sigh. The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.

Thank God for HQ's gentle reminder to me that confidence is God-given, but competency is to be grown by us.

So yeah. I know God has confirmed His calling for me in children's ministry. It is a joy. But it is difficult at times. But... the rewards are so worth it. But competency-wise, I know I have much work to do here.

Anyway! =) Ultimately I see how God is at work in moulding His character in my heart. And that it's not about being able to do things well per se, but do things to serve other people well.

And I want to grow in a deeper understanding of the Word too.

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It was my first camp, but by the grace of God, it will not be the last. I look forward to meeting up more parents, and partnering with them to help build strong and biblical men and women of God in order to plant strong and biblical churches in Singapore and all over the world! AMEN! :)