My 'Flu Muse, And The Brevity of Life

Today I was on MC because of flu. Thank God truly it wasn't H1N1. To be honest, I did ponder about if I did get H1N1, would I die? And at that point, I was rather reluctant to die, 'cos I hadn't done much for God yet. But the prophecy by Peter Truong and Hong Teck (think it was last year?) was that I would do great things for God.

Thus I recalled a line from Jerry Bridges's book on trusting God even when it hurts came to mine: "Until He bids, I cannot die."

Haha. I know it's strange and rather "morbid", this thought of death. But I think only when I'm ready to face death, am I really able to face life. =) For then I'll be motivated to live my life even more focusedly and purposely.

"Only one life, 'twill soon be past;
only what's done for Christ will last."

I remember studying the book of Philippians in the Bible. And Paul wrote this:

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

I'm not scared of death. (It's only the transition part that I have issues with... LOL) I'm just scared that I won't have given my best for Jesus before I go home. So really need to make sure I don't beat the air aimlessly. Noooo sir. To make sure every punch counts. Training, discipline, focus and courage.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

That's why I'm so inspired by Mr Anthony Yeo's life. A friend to the lonely, a healer to the broken-hearted, an encourager to the fearful... gosh, his life reflects God's character so much.

I think, in the course of following Christ, we begin to represent Christ to a lost, dying and hurting world.

That's why I find children's ministry and community care so meaningful. =)

Even Michael Jackson, who passed away very recently, did touch people's lives personally. Not the music part... but those close to him testified that he cared for others, and wept when he died. His former bodyguard testified that MJ, when he saw some homeless people, talked with them, and ordered a whole load of pizza for them. Even his ex-wife was devastated when he died.

I think MJ will be remembered always for his nifty dance moves... and his songs... but perhaps what's more important is that people know who he really is, behind the costumes, and even the plastic surgeries... the real heart of the man himself.

Yeah. Character... love God, love people. I think I want my epitaph to read, "He loved God with all he had, and loved his neighbour as himself." Can't think of a more beautiful tribute...

But I can only hope and pray that God will mercifully help me grow to have that kind of heart that loves God and people. :)

---

And of course, haha, there's also the tiny little worry that I wouldn't have the chance to marry haha (I think another brother was joking about this too). But really, there's much more wonderful relationships in heaven than even the best marriages on earth can offer. "...and the former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind." :)

Kim Chun was wistfully sharing to me about how he wished that he could keep in touch with every friend he had made in church. That after having gone through so many restructurings, he wished it wasn't so hard to keep in touch, especially when we are all scattered across different ministries.

I told him, "That's a fact of life."

He said, with a slight tinge of nostalgia, "I know."

Then I replied, "I guess we come and go... but in heaven, we'll all meet again. And on that day, we'll never be separated again, for all eternity."

"E-tern-neh-tee," he grinned in his silly way, poking the air with his fork for emphasis.

And we both laughed merrily.