It Is Finished...

I finally finished the Always Asia website, for the missions team in Chile. While it's great to know that it's going to support the team's fledgling consultancy business there... *wipes sweat off brow* I'm glad it's finished.

Because I dragged the project on for a very long time - partly due to my daytime work and nighttime ministry, partly due to my unfamiliarity with the Joomla content management software, and a lot of it due to my procrastination.

:P Several months behind deadline... super paiseh.

But looking back at the entire journey, I just want to thank God for being so incredibly patient with me.

Even though my horrible twin tenors of procrastination and perfectionism stand in the way. And they start belting out their finest duets every time I sit in front of the computer, making me feel creativity-constipated.

*Urgggggh...*

Yet, for all my failings, He made a way. Despite my repeated missed deadlines ("broken" is more accurate), God still showed me so much mercy. He graciously allowed me to share in the joy of serving the Lord in missions work. That what I do here is able to help a faraway missions team on the other side of the earth.

Looking back at all that, I can't help thanking God from the bottom of my heart that He still wants to use someone like me, the worst of procrastinators. His unlimited patience with someone like me. Whoa. He calls unqualified people, and qualifies them.

In short, He's looking for every possible way and mean to bless us, through the cracks and failings of our imperfection and fallenness.

I remember a week or so ago, I was taking care of two hyper-rambunctious kids. We had promised them a present if they would behave themselves for about twenty or thiry minutes.

As they fidgeted, as they squirmed, as they fingered and poked, as they wriggled and wormed... I waited and waited for them to be still, and know that I am Teacher. :P I realised there and then how much I really wanted them to get their presents, their prizes for sitting still and listening. I wasn't on the lookout to catch them and immediately take away their prizes. In fact, I tried my very best to delay the impending judgement, giving them repeated warnings and graces, purposely closing one eye, at other times, rebuking them.

But in the end, I had to very reluctantly, albeit firmly, tell them that they couldn't get their presents since they had not behaved themselves.

And it struck me then that this is a picture of how much God longs to bless us. He looks for every excuse possible to give us good and perfect gifts. "I am the Lord your God; open wide your mouth and I will fill it." We sin, and rebel against Him time and time again. But He still patiently waits, looking for every moment when we start obeying Him again.

God doesn't delight in disciplining, in punishing us. He wants us to be blessed from head to toe, heart to soul. And His patience is so deep. Yet there must come a time when we push our disobedience and rebellion too far. Then He draws the line.

And I think He is disappointed, sad, perhaps grieving even, when He has to discipline us. Of the undiscovered treasures, the ungiven crown.

But, if He sees us struggling, fighting to obey Him, against every sinew and fiber of our sinful nature, rebelling against our rebelliousness - He is glad, He is delighted. And His eyes light up in pleasure and He tells the angels, "That's MY son/daughter!"

Hee. Just a Sunday morning musing on God's character here.