Thursday, September 23, 2010

Feel inadequate again.

I know, some people will tell me that it's about positive thinking. ... I think this isn't really the case, because I do have a genuine problem - it is my slowness again.


What can I do about my slowness? Same old struggle. =)

But thank God, it's a different no-man's land as compared to my uni days, when I struggled so badly with relationships. Haha... I know God has helped me overcome those days, and brought me to a new place.

But yes, I need a healthy sense of inadequacy. One that doesn't make me look down at my own weaknesses, but look to the Rock that is higher than me. =)

"Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee."

Just a rambling thought. I don't think I quite like this idea about positive thinking. It doesn't come across to me as authentic. But I do believe I must always fix my eyes unto Jesus, no matter how I feel. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Even when I feel lousy and defeated, I look at Jesus, my Commander, standing on the ridge waving His banner, rallying us onwards into the Valley of Death... for He has already descended into it, and come out the other end - alive forever and ever!. The Lord is my Banner. :)

Ok, maybe it IS positive thinking. Haha. But positive thinking that focuses on God, and the certainty of His promises. =) Haha. Feeling brighter now. =)

Lord, please help me be a better testimony, both in work and ministry. Not be so slow. But to, when tempted to be slow, to long to bring you "something that's of worth, that will bless Your heart."

Mm. Prayed just now. God, I really need Your help. Can't make it on my own.

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