A verse that has been coming to mind repeatedly:

Ephesians 4:29
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

I was thinking about it. Actually, quite funny... hahah... I think the Holy Spirit is adding His own comment to my blog post below! Hee hee. :)

You know, I was thinking. According to their needs. Does my speech add value to others, according to their needs?

I think of my friendship with a dear brother. Very often, I'm the one who pours out my feelings to him, but how often do I, even though he has reminded, encouraged and even challenged me to do so, asked him how things are going on for him? To deliberately ask him challenging questions on how things are for him? A man-to-man talk, going straight to the point?

That's one value I can add to his life, by exhorting him as well.

I'm glad that I can encourage another dear brother. By affirming his dreams for God. He did carefully show me his deck of dreams that he had held tight to his chest. And I was so encouraged by his heard. His deck may not, even for him, been the most perfect deck, but... it was a hand with a heart pleasing to God. And ultimately, God has dealt out a new deck of cards to this brother, guiding him to what He has purposed for him. Isn't that the sweetness and the joy of it?

Value-adding. Ah. I think my words do not do much value-adding at the moment. But Lord, transform my melancholic speech into fiery words that love the truth!

But people also need refreshment. That is where good humour can really lighten up a person's soul. Not the attacking kind of humour, but the good-natured kind. Like the rainbow after a downpour. :)

People need affirmation. They need appreciation. They need encouragement, to know that what they are doing does indeed count.

Lord, my words are all so self-centred, so little and so inward-looking.

Please transform these words into beautiful drops of honey that soothes, nurtures and refresh the soul.

And if need be, make them fiery tracer bullets to light the way, and to mow down injustices and oppressions and unrighteousness. Blaze, Spirit, blaze!

To speak words of wisdom that instruct and guide others. Shouldn't I be like this?

Yup. Some thoughts in reply to the Holy Spirit's comment. :)

---

Also, to add: I think something that hinders me from speaking words to instruct and guide others is because often, I feel a lot of times that what I say doesn't really matter or count. And so, when I share, even in testimonies of what God has done for me, I feel a lot of insecurity that what I say may not sound well with others.

But wasn't it for that very reason Paul explicitly instructed Timothy, who was of a naturally timid nature, to command and teach these things? To older men (respectfully of course) some more?

Have you ever noticed, that in a group discussion, that everyone starts becoming very quiet and listening respectfully to a guy who looks very mature and serious, and speaks in a slow and thoughtful way?

Whether that guy is truly wise or not, that can be seen in time to come. (But I think it probably is so. For gentleness is a true mark of maturity.)

But it IS something worth thinking about, and if false teachers can speak boldly about the things they are certain about, then how much more we who know the truth must speak with confidence.

I wish it wasn't like that, but it unfortunately is true. We tend to take more seriously those who speak confidently and self-assuredly. Thus I think we who speak the truth must speak confidently and assuredly. Because, why should we be ashamed of what is true? If we have even a little bit of truth with us, let's not be ashamed of speaking what we have already attained.

Thank God truly for a dear brother who helped me start on this journey of instructing what is true. "You were so proud last time, being self-opinionated. Now you speak with uncertainty, with shyness (being willing to listen to others' opinions)... and that's good... but now you have to speak up and share with others what you already know from the Word of God. 'Only let us live up to what we have already attained.'"

I still remember that sister who was so confident and firm in telling me that it's a sin not to finish my food. That she made me feel guilty about doing that. Ironic.

I still struggle with standing firm, but with God's help, I shall stand firm with the truth of God in my mouth. To speak the truth, and nothing but the truth.