"He's/She's not doing well..."

A dear brother wrote this comment recently. It's a profound statement that I think is profoundly true. Even more profound, when you consider his own life story.

It is impossible for us or even ourselves to change. In Jeremiah, we read that “a leopard cannot change its spots”.

Only God can change people- melting the coldest heart with His love, bringing enlightenment thru His word and empowering thru the Holy Spirit.

Any other reliance on other sources apart from God is just superficial change, maybe just in behavior but not heart.

[...] We should not be focus on changing people, but discipling. Building their walk in obeying the Great Commandment. Change in them will then be a naturally by-product and not the other way around.

Anyway, I've been thinking... I remember back in my earlier days, sometimes I would notice that a bro/sis wasn't attending service or CG that much... so I would ask the shepherd/CL how he/she was doing...

And the shep/CL would sometimes say, "So and so is not doing well..."

In a way, it seems quite the 'spiritual' thing to do then... it seemed to me then that it was a symbol of maturity - that you had finally reached the 'leader' position - that you could finally say that someone under your care was 'not doing well'... with all the care and concern that you could muster up. And bonus points if you could put on a just the right kind of concerned expression....

In a way, the person under your care became a common complaint topic for you and the other leaders... with you putting on your best, oh-dear-what-shall-we-do look of concern...

Hee. I guess I write like that, because I've seen it done, and I've done it too.

Another dear brother wrote these very wise words too:

Is solutionistic approach to pastoral challenges ( note i chose not even to use the word problem) the best?

Seeing pastoral challenges as a problem reflects our mindset of how we see people. PROBLEM.

But hey..people at different life stations faces different challenges. Use of words like "So and so not doing well,...." has been used sweepingly and potentially can become a stigma.

Solutionistic approach blinds us to the needs and deep crying concerns of people.

What I learnt from these two different sharings... is one very simple thing: Do I see people as people, made in the image of God? Or see them as things/problems/issues?

I must confess that I am often guilty of seeing people in the wrong light... but I want to grow in love... love God, and love people.

Disciple people, not change them... help draw my friends and foes to Jesus Christ himself, not to a deadening set of rules and regulations or structures or principles even...

Not to say that we throw doctrines out of the window... no lah... 'cos we must know that we are believing in the right God... but don't just stay at knowing about God - come, just seek the Lord and talk to Him personally... 'cos God is a PERSON, not an impersonal force.

(That's a core doctrine of Christianity you know... but how often we profess that doctrine, and never believe it actually...)

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."