Because today, I was starting to feel increasingly discouraged about this desire to honour God with my writing skills and talents... 'cos I was feeling that my writing isn't as good as others.
And also was wondering how to find a suitable job next time that allows me to do more writing - if there was any in the first place.
So I think the overall feeling was that of: Do I actually have what it takes to be a writer? And even if I write, how on earth am I going to survive? And even if I do write, just how effective will all this be?
It was on my mind the whole morning.
Then... as I was praying (silently) to God during my lunch hour while I was in my company's canteen, telling Him about this concern... I happened to turn around, and saw, between two drink shelves, the word "COURAGE". It was painted on the canteen's walls as one of my company's slogans.
The positioning and timing of the word "COURAGE" - it was so big and right smack in-between the 2 drink shelves - that it seemed to me that perhaps God was answering my prayer with this big sign - literally! Telling me to have courage!
Whoa. I was, like, "God! You really showing me a sign in this way? If it's really so... Lord, you ROCK!!! The word so big some more..."
:D
Then, the second one was during my quiet time. I was still worried about this career issue, and was asking God for guidance. Then, I decided to let the Lord have some airtime. So started reading Hebrews 3 in the Bible. While reading, this verse somehow caught my attention:
"For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything [...] And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast."Wow. Felt very touched. Hee. =)
Then... when I got back home, I checked my Hotmail account, and saw this email from someone whom I'd never known before. It didn't look like a spam email, so I opened it... and here's what it says:
Hey there, I know this is somewhat out of the ordinary, but I ran across one of your entries on blogger.com after searching for "quantum mechanics and absolute truth." :)You and I have some similar interests apparently: we both like cycling, rock climbing, and most importantly, love Jesus. I'm a college student [...] at [a certain university in USA].WHOA. I was super-encouraged after reading this email. 'Cos it seems that Father may be encouraging me to keep this dream to write for Him, to keep on writing and not give up... that my labour in the Lord is not in vain!
Tonight I was discussing with an engineering friend about absolute truth, who Jesus was, and some other cool things, but he kept stumbling around the idea of absolute truth and was comparing it to what we know about general relativity and other issues in physics.After reading your post, I wandered around some of your other entries- I was overcome with this joy at getting to see God doing amazing stuff and revealing himself in your life. It's so easy to become short-sighted in my own life- not realizing that God is continuing to work, not only in me, but through ALL of his children. I wish I could see you in person and tell you about all the amazing things God is doing at [my university] (I'm involved in an organization called Campus Crusade for Christ) and listen to what God is doing in your life in Singapore, but I guess I'm just going to have to wait and meet you in heaven!
Your brother in Christ...
(BTW bro in Christ, if you're reading this, really hope you don't mind me sharing your email as a testimony... I just want to share this with my brothers and sisters here in Singapore... I really am very encouraged by your email! Thank God for you so much! :))
Reflections
So, reflecting on all this... what can I learn from this?
Personally, I think that God wants to encourage each and everyone of us to step out in courage and faith to risk putting whatever talents and giftings God has given us to work.
And yes, the discouragements WILL come. They may be due to our own sinful tendency to compare ourselves with others... perhaps it's also the devil trying to discourage us... perhaps it's the wolvish world mocking our attempts to go forth to preach the gospel (for we are sent out as sheep among wolves).
But let's persevere on... because God sees our hearts! True, with Yeu Ann, this is impossible... BUT NOT WITH GOD; WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
OH! That reminds me! As I was walking back home from my prayer time, I saw this roadside sign. It was a Coke Zero advertisement. And... the ad had the word IMPOSSIBLE as its headline... 'cept that the "IM" in "IMPOSSIBLE" was clearly scratched out with a big cross.
Obviously, the headline was for the Coke... but at that particular moment, it seems to me that God wanted to very clearly encourage me that it was HIM showing me another sign... that nothing is impossible with God.
If we are willing to scratch ourselves out of the picture, to scratch out "I (A)M" with the Cross... then we see more clearly that we can do everything through Christ who gives us strength.
AMEN.
Yup! So from what I learnt from this experience, discouragements will always come our way, whenever we want to do something good and beautiful for God. But we must persevere one!
Also, it is not about glorifying God only through our own strengths. Oftentimes, when God calls you and me, He graciously places this burning desire in our hearts to want to do something great for God, rather than nua-ing our way through life. However, when we do step out, we start seeing how weak and inadequate we are, as compared to more powerful and more capable people - even the non-Christians.
But we mustn't become faithless and turn back from the Promised Land! Though the people there are giants, we can and will shine for God victoriously in the end, because it is the Lord who will give us the power, anointing and victory. The only thing He asks of us is to obey Him completely in whatever He wants us to do, even if it sometimes doesn't make any sense at all.
Lastly, I also learnt to put my trust in God more and rely on Him. It's currently quite an exciting but challenging and uncertain period in my life. From learning to lead a caregroup (of primary school kids), to leading praise (and God knows that I can't sing to save my life) in caregroup, to giving a sharing during HopeKids service...
To be honest, I didn't excel in any of these. At best, my efforts were ok. But I thank God truly that He is faithful to me - I did finish and complete all these things through Him who gives me strength. And I gained a richer insight into what it means to learn to rely on Him more. Not on my own strength, but on Him who has the power to raise the dead.
So the truth of the Scripture verse "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness..." is coming very real in my life. It's shiveringly exciting... yeah, often so many times I feel deeply, deeply inadequate... 2 Cor 1:9 "Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."
Amen. :D
Something very exciting too. You may have read in today's newspaper about the inauguration of the Information Fusion Centre. Well, I was working on a system that was linked to that. And... about a few hours before the IFC inauguration ceremony was due to start, Murphy's Law struck! A critical technical problem occurred, and I was immediately activated to go down and solve this problem before 1 pm.
Everyone was very anxious, and I kept on being asked, "How much longer?" So... I decided to pray and ask God for wisdom how to solve the problem. I prayed a very simple prayer asking God to help me solve the problem before 1 pm. And also messaged my careleader, Huaqiang.
Then you know what? In the next few minutes, I suddenly got a very clear insight into the nature of the problem! I checked out the insight that I had received, and gosh! the insight was proved to be correct! So we worked on the problem... and... a few minutes before 1 pm, the problem was well and truly resolved! Not only that... I had this strange peace within, because of a strong sense of assurance that I knew that God was in charge of the entire problem.
Praise the Lord! :D Thank God so much that nothing is too small or insignificant for Him to care about... and that He really generously gives wisdom to all who ask Him without finding fault! AMEN!
And well, the IFC inauguration ceremony seems to have gone smoothly... in the newspapers some more haha.
So thankful to God how He helped me, and an entire bunch of engineers... =P
(And oh yes, it's great to know that what I do in my work actually helps to make the world a safer place in terms of keeping pirates at bay...)
Yup! It's a super-long testimony, but really want to thank God so much for His goodness to me... actually I was inspired by Clarence's testimony on Sunday night... so haha, hope and pray that this little testimony encourages you to share YOUR own testimony of what the Lord has done for you! Let's start a chain-reaction of thanksgiving! On? :D
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