Birthday Reflections

Birthdays are not only a time of celebration; they're a time to take a sober assessment and appraisal of where you're going and headed for. As Socrates wisely spoke, "The unexamined life is not worth living."

1. For my CG and friends to come to know deeper the love of Christ
   
2. To love God and the CG more with the love of Christ.
   
3. To grow in emotional stability and maturity.
   

Something else that I made sense of.
HQ and Peter pointed out to me about my expectations, and how they affect my relationships with others. So I pondered about this, and I think there's this verse that does make sense: 

"But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man."

And also something that Weizhu mentioned to me, and that struck me a lot: "That's not what true love is about...", when I had said to him that it was about mutual exchange and reciprocity in a relationship. And his unspoken sacrificial spirit spoke countless words to me. A brother whose life shines greatly as a role model and example for me.

Unconditional love.
Unconditional love.

Love without conditions.
Love without any strings attached.
Love without any expectations of anything in return.

Why didn't I see that truth before?

So realized that I need to throw away all my expectations of others giving back to me. I choose not to care any more about well-meant advice that tell me that I can expect to receive from others - for that, no matter how wise it sounds, is ultimately self-seeking and self-defeating. That isn't the truth as Jesus said it...

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

It is true, experientially, and I've seen and felt the differences when I start imposing my own expectations on others. So away with you, Expectations! Begone, never to return again! :) HQ told me that he saw the differences. So it's not just my own thinking. In any case, Jesus is always right, and if I choose to stand on my humanistic understanding, I will surely fail like a house in a storm that was built on sand.

Not that I'm advocating a cynicism that says, "Why bother about others?" No, that's not what I mean. The thing is that Jesus taught the principle of giving without expecting anything in return. Makes for bad-sounding economics, but great for building bridges and communities. And... heavenly for growing to be like our Father...

"Longing just to bring you something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart..."

The main goal for the 27th year of my life:
- Grow in unconditional love.
- Grow in appreciative love - to just humbly and sweetly appreciate others' intrinsic values and to consider others better than myself.

That's all. :)

I think this sounds very radical. It is necessary for me, because I realize that so many years, I've been enslaved to my unrealistic expectations.

And seeing the lives of those around me... the lives that I see flourishing and blooming are those whose values and convictions are based on a firm conviction to God's Word. And the lives that I see not flourishing and growing are those based on a shaky conviction or a faithless life or a disobedient life.

The differences get more and more obvious as they grow older.

My life is in my hands... So I choose today onwards to obey nothing but the Word of God, and to totally make it the core and absolute value of my entire life, thoughts, words and deeds. May the Word of God rule absolutely supreme, overriding even my emotions. "Not my will, but Yours be done." AMEN!

Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
- John Donne, XIV, Holy Sonnets

I need to return back to the basics once again. I think I've strayed away from my first love. I want to return again to those days of a sweet spirit and a contrite heart. Yup.

Be with me, Lord, I pray. And thank You for another new year, another day to live. Teach me the Way to live. And thank You for my dear friends, my brothers and sisters, who gave me gifts and/or messaged me. :) Super-touched... help me start counting me blessings. In Jesus' most precious name, amen.