But I shall write them down on my trip to Kenya.
:D
Anyway! GoForth... Xiaojia wrote down a very good and thought-provoking reflection on what she learnt from GoForth, which basically sums up what I'm feeling too (well, there are a few other things that I personally felt and learnt), but yeah. So I shall save time and link to her blog post again. Haha...
Innovations in Missions! It was so thought-provoking. Joseph and I were talking about it over the phone, and he shared with me that he teared when he read the Bible verse on the green metal mug that each delegate received as part of the goodie bag. "For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink..."
And he commented that the person packing the mug must have prayed over the mug even as he/she was packing it. Then he said to me, "Yeu Ann, I think I'm going to pray over each seat in the auditorium tomorrow before service."
600+ seats in Nexus? That was one of my first thoughts when he said that.
Cool! So I joined him the next morning to pray over each seat. There he was, faithfully praying over each seat, and this is what he prayed for: God's life transformation for the person sitting there - whether the person sitting there is a believer or not yet one.
I went a-praying too, and to speed things up, I laid two hands on two seats. Good ol' Joe used one hand for one seat at a time. Haha... I think his reward in heaven will be double mine... :P LOL.
But it was indeed such a joy! And when we finished praying, I think we were physically and mentally tired out, but our souls were glowing on the inside. :D And praise and worship right after that was such a joy indeed! :D
So this is one fruit of the GoForth conference... and in a way, Joseph was doing missions there and then - sowing a seed faithfully, with love and care, in each seat... it really struck me very much that the heart of a missionary lies first and foremost in the HEART. That's essentially what Rev. Morley Lee said in the first night rally.
If you and I want to go forth for the Lord, we must first be willing to go forth in our hearts.
To be ready to go wherever He wants you and me to go. That means if He calls you to stay at home and serve unseen, praying for each seat in the auditorium, then that is your labour that God has given you, and you shall work at it with all your heart and joy and soul and strength.
There's this verse during the GF conference that really spoke to me a lot:
"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor."
Talking about response to missions... I've responded too to the call. To be honest, it was a building-up. I was thinking whether to write down and submit the card on the second night already, but for some reason or another, I didn't yet. But the third night, I responded. And to be honest, I wasn't feeling much emotions about it.
Not that I don't care - it's that the emotions have already come and gone. And I told God that it doesn't matter how I feel about this decision - I've thought about it for a long, long time and prayed about it - so now it really is a rational and conscious decision to commit myself fully into His hands.
And it's so exciting, to hear His call and give my all.
:)
And the joy is even greater now. Joyce shared with me about her own decision to respond for missions on the second night. Something that I said to her struck me even as I said it (paraphrased):
"When you respond, God will prepare you... even to the point of breaking and humbling you. Like how He'll open up a teddy bear, pull all the stuffing out of it until it's totally emptied. And then He'll put His hand inside and work you like a puppet. And then you'll be so much more alive than you've ever been before, for it's no longer the old stuffing that lives within you, but Christ's hand working within you."
So what did God speak to me?
I think the one thing that He spoke to me so clearly was these words: "Consecrate yourself to Me. Seek Me." I believe He's speaking these words to me very strongly, because He wants me to know that even while I respond, I need to remember that apart from Him, I can do NOTHING. It is entirely God's work here.
And I see it coming to pass. Because in today's missions preparation meeting, I had planned for the children's orphanage programme. But very paiseh, the programme I planned was CMI - Cannot Make It. LOL. Was disappointed and felt insecure, to be honest, 'cos felt that what I'm doing is so little and insignificant. Shared this with Jason, and he told me that it's ok. Just as long as I've done my best. I can always learn if my work doesn't meet the team's standard. And if my work exceeds the team's standard, then I should be humble to teach what I am strong in to others. That way it's a win-win situation.
If I'm weak, I learn and I grow. If I'm strong, I teach and others grow.
Either way, we all grow together, 'cos we can always learn something from one another. Amen and hallelujah! :)
But if I allow insecurity to take over me, then it's a lose-lose situation. I allow myself to start dwelling in self-pity, and I am unable to learn from others as a result. It's a vicious cycle. Or if I do well and am proud, then it's a lose-lose situation. I don't learn and grow more, and others don't benefit from what I've already attained.
:D
Woah. It's so exciting. I think God will teach me more during the missions trip about humbling myself to learn and to grow. I am really less than the least of ALL God's people, and yet this grace was given to me: to preach to the lost the unsearchable riches of Christ! YES AND YES AND AMEN! :D
Thank God also that He's been showing me how all these life experiences are being weaved together - both the joys and the pains - into a beautiful tapestry of glory.
First the suffering, then the glory.
Oh how marvellous! Oh how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh how marvellous! Oh how wonderful
Is my Saviour's love for me!
I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED. :D
Talking about excitement, Dr. Fernando was speaking during Saturday's plenary session on Innovations in Missions. He mentioned that we can also have fun serving God - e.g. playing soccer, etc. with the children we're reaching out to...
And so many other things to think about.
Oh yes. Think God indicated to me a clearer vision of what He has in mind for me regarding fulfilling the Great Commission. Certainly I do believe He's calling me to mobilizing people for missions, encouraging and helping people find and grow in their God-given roles in bringing Christ's love to the nations.
And I think He may be calling me not to one specific place, but to all the nations of the world. What I mean is that He may call me to go to this place for a few times in a few years, minister to the people there, and then shift to another place... Sounds very nomadic, yeah? But wherever He calls me to, I'll go!
Perhaps that might be His direction for me... well, I'm really not sure at this time. But yeah, where God calls me to go, I'll go. Just like Abram in the Old Testament. One of my personal heroes. I like the name Abraham! :) And Abraham Lincoln's another hero of mine too. Great beard too haha.
And my heart was so absolutely thrilled and enthralled by all the wonderful creative works that the media and IT ministries are doing... imagine! mobile internet... gosh! we can use this to share the gospel of Jesus Christ more and more powerfully across the nations... doesn't matter whether you're in the desert or in the jungle!
Oh yes. Before I end off, I just want to write down this verse that God impressed on my heart on the first day when I was praying after the first day of GoForth:
1 "Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
4 "Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.
And the word shine just shone at me. :) I felt that God is impressing on my heart strongly that now is the time for me to arise and SHINE for Jesus, wherever I am. And how urgent the need is all the more for us, the people in the light, to shine as beacons of hope for those covered in darkness.
And it's so meaningful, because this verse was an answer to my sharing with God how inadequate and small I keep on feeling, when faced with the IMPOSSIBLE task that He has called us to.
He simply replied: "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the GLORY OF THE LORD RISES UPON YOU."
It is always God's work, not ours. We are just His servants, His messengers, His instruments, His body to do His work on the earth.
Like how one of the speakers in the media workshop said, "We must remember that God calls us to an IMPOSSIBLE task. Remember, it is an IMPOSSIBLE task to reach the entire world for Christ. That is why we must remember to depend on God. Because only God, who calls us to an IMPOSSIBLE task, is able to do the IMPOSSIBLE."
We mustn't belittle the power of IMPOSSIBLE, for IMPOSSIBLE is always more powerful than POSSIBLE. But the Almighty God is more powerful than the IMPOSSIBLE, for He is able to take away the "IM" from "IMPOSSIBLE". Because "I AM" is the One who takes "IM" from "IMPOSSIBLE" to make "POSSIBLE"!
For nothing is impossible with God.
The Lord's Call Is So Stirring. My heart's really deeply moved... Here I am, Lord... send me! :D
No comments:
Post a Comment