Six Ways to Make People Like You

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2: Smile.
Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

These two principles in bold caught my attention especially. Think they're very true... of course, there's the risk of making them into rules to follow, and if you kept on smiling even when the time's not right, or you kept parroting the person's name after every line, yah, I think it's very strange. =)

But well, Proverbs again says about the power of smiling... "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news brings health to the bones." :)

And I was very struck by the importance of remembering names... realised how touched I am when others call my name - can't help but feel happy for a moment when someone calls my name - especially if it's not to hunt me down :P

But even if I were being scolded, somehow, it feels that the other person is being more caring when he/she calls me by name... I remember there was this secondary school teacher who, when he was about to scold me (which was very often, unfortunately), would bellow my name in full: "Yeo-Yeu-Ann!" and proceed to lecture me. But yeah, he's a Christian, and deep down, I was touched by his sincere efforts to correct me. =)

And hasn't your own heart skipped with pleasure suddenly when you hear one of your friends calling your own name? :) That made me think about the nature of God's heartbeat for us... He loves you and me so much that He even calls us by name! John 10:3b "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out..."

One of my dear friends, in particular, I realise, is really strong in this area. This friend is very shy, but people are naturally attracted to this friend. So I was wondering why, and what is this "X-factor" that I can learn from this friend?

Think it's how this friend calls us by name, and even though it's a very small thing, this friend will remember and appreciate very deeply the little things about other people. Thus, I'm very encouraged every time I see this friend's life, because our personalities are very similar - which means that connecting to people is nothing much to do with personality, but a skill that can be learnt and acquired! :D And even more than that is that we have God's promise that He will help us be transformed in loving people.

But to put it all into perspective, it's not that important to make people like me, really. As Jesus put it, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets." And if even a perfect man could be crucified, then what does it imply for the rest of us?

The main reason I see the importance of connecting with others is simply because each one of us has a need for community. If we don't find it in the Church, then we'll look for it somewhere else - and that will be to our loss, like a man dying of thirst drinking contaminated water. "See how they loved one another!" That was what was said of the Early Church... will they say this about the Today Church? The answer lies in you and me today.