Being salt requires us to stop trying to be sugar of the earth instead. Too many Project Superstars or Apprentice or American Idol wannabes around. Pass us those who wanna love God, chase God and be God's, those who Keith Green terms as 'being bananas for Jesus'. We have to be salt as well as keep the saltiness to truly make a impact... [continue]
Think the word "sugar" struck me, because personally, I'm someone who really likes to be on good terms with everyone, to be liked by everyone. But Jesus says to such people like me, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets."
Think what He meant here is not that I go pick fights with everyone - but simply, do I prefer to compromise my convictions and values, integrity and truth, justice and righteousness, just to avoid conflict and get on well with everyone? Such a compromiser is a false prophet - one who will save his skin in order not to confront injustice and wrongdoings.
I was talking with a dear friend a few days ago who apologised to me for avoiding me for many months rather than confront me about something wrong I had done. Very thankful for her humble heart to apologise. :)
But, frankly, I think the people who hurt me most in my life are NOT those who have scolded me and directly pointed out to me what I needed to hear. On the contrary, it's those who avoided me rather than take the risk of confronting me. The opposite of love is NOT hate. It is indifference.
And the opposite is true. Those who confronted and corrected me for the wrongs and mistakes that I did, in the end have blessed me so much, and I have fond memories of the deeper friendships that inevitably resulted from the outcome (provided I responded with a good spirit...).
Proverbs 28:23
"He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor
than he who has a flattering tongue."
Proverbs 27:5-6
"Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses."
A caveat though... From experience, it's really important to give the other party the benefit of the doubt, to be ready to think well of the other person, even while you're confronting. And be gentle. Be VERY GENTLE and RESPECTFUL.
Because most of the time, the other person doesn't mean to harm or hurt you - it's just that he/she was misunderstood or ignorant. If misunderstood, then good lah... you learnt something new about the other person, and your relationship benefits. If ignorant, then good lah... the other person learns something new, and your relationship benefits.
Of course, there's always a risk that the person won't take it well, or respond in the way that you'd like. And I think that's where true love and forgiveness takes place - at least your conscience is clear, and you've done your best, even if you screwed up... just ask God to forgive you for whatever wrong you've done and leave the rest to God to resolve. :)
Lemme know if I got anything wrong or misunderstood... :) Tks!
*******
I like Hong Teck's email signature. It's very short but profound: "Be His." Think that effectively sums up a life totally and recklessly abandoned unto God all my days. A life that a MAN should live.
Be His.
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