Friday, October 23, 2009

How Should One Respond to Someone You're Not Interested In?

You know, for all the great and helpful advice in my church's BGR framework, I think it may not have addressed sufficiently one thing: how we should respond to someone who has expressed interest in us, but we are not interested in them.

I think ignoring them and avoiding any further contact with them may not be a godly thing to do... even if the natural tendency is to avoid (and I have indeed experienced a sister who expressed interest in me before, but I was turned off... and avoided her. I wonder now how she felt.). Perhaps we could do our best to be kind and considerate to the other person's feelings? Of course, some isolation may be necessary in a few cases, but perhaps a gentle explanation may help to reduce or even eliminate any awkwardness. Because ultimately, we are brothers and sisters in Christ, in the family of God. And we are commanded to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. I believe we are called not to live solely by our natural instincts or reasoning anymore, but to live by the Spirit. Even if our natural response is to withdraw in order to protect ourselves, perhaps it would be the better thing to take the risk to communicate, especially if you know the other person to be sufficiently mature. Not to live naturally anymore, but to live supernaturally.

So, because of this, it seems to me that, generally, we brothers in church are expected to take the initiative (and the accompanying risks that follow with such initiative), but I think... perhaps a lot of the sisters may not respond graciously and with a gentle spirit, actually. So I think a lot of us brothers are very chary about taking the initiative... and it's not healthy in the long run. I don't know... it's just my perception. What do you think? :) I'd be very interested to hear opinions from both sides!

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