Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Some days I find trusting in God hard. Not because He is not trustworthy. But because my eyes are not strong enough to see the Son beyond the clouds that come and go each day. What started off as a beautiful golden morning becomes a shadowy afternoon, with shadows of doubts flickering here and there, before the dark night comes, illuminated only by the moonlight of reason - that sometimes seem to cast even darker shadows because of what it illuminates.

How flickering is my faith in God!

But I think this whole time God is stretching my own faith, hope and love. Faith, as in trusting God. Hope, that I don't so much wish as expect Him to fulfill His promises. And Love, that come what may, I will still love Him and love others.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV 2010)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

I feel so unsure right now. How will He fulfill His promises? When will He do it? Where will He do it? And... even if/when He does, will it be what I want? But forgive me my faithlessness, Father. Not my will but Yours be done.

Sigh. Just need Your presence right now Father. More than even Your promises or blessings.

No comments: