Friday, November 19, 2010


Just sent a dear friend a direct rebuke, as gentle as I could. Just thank God I accounted to his mentor. Still, it's a pain to see someone resistant to correction and growth... especially when others have tried to speak into the person's life.

At least his shepherd told me to be very direct with him.

And it's something for me to think about, because I know that Hanhui had to do the same with me... asking me question after question. And I hated it then, and was angry with him. But he cared enough to press on, even after I had flared up at him. Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

And now I'm so grateful to him for his courageous love. That he spoke the truth to me in love. That in the end, he succeeded even when it seemed that he had failed. (As he had shared with some of us about a prophecy that God gave him, that in order to succeed in what God had called him to do, he must first go through failure. And he did seem to have failed a lot... yet in the end... like the resurrected Christ, God brokered victory out of his failures.)

And Peter's grace to me, even when I had pissed him off plenty of times... it's not just being nice to me... but I saw how he actively cared for me. Mm. Grace. Grace. I saw it in action.

And I see how much the grace and mercy of God is upon me. When I see people with similar attitudes to what I had last time... OMG. I realize that it would have been easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for me to escape that attitude black-hole of pride. So many people with my kind of attitude have never escaped, and are still lost and suffering in their sins... yet here stand I, not by any works I have done, but only by His utter grace and mercy I stand - forgiven and redeemed.

What can I say? I can only show mercy to others as He has shown me, and hopefully grace as He has done for me too.

But yup. Still learning. Sheesh. Should have been more careful. Proverbs says do not rebuke a fool, or he will hate you... I could have been more prudent.

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