Just woke up from a nap. Was thinking about Ps Rick Seaward's sermon today. Btw seems quite a lot of us are really excited abt it. And it must have taken a lot of courage for Ps Rick to preach the way he preached today, and the prophetic prayer tt he prayed over Ps Jeff and our church.

Waaaah. So blessed and very comforted by his prophecy. Maybe it's also because I felt the love come from another church to our church... and thank God for Ps Jeff too.

Think it's not been easy for Ps Jeff, esp since he's not well-trained in many areas, from what I know... but he's been courageously holding the fort, esp now that Ps Ben is moving on to North America. (Thank God for Ps Ben - he's been faithful in the first phase...) Ps Jeff, not sure if you ever read this, but your faith, hope and love really inspire me very much to be more like Christ in serving others! :D Jiayou!~

Anyway, you can read my tweets for the sermon content.

Then when I got back home, I read the servant leader posting. And it cut me to my heart. Made me think more about my own heart.

Then chatting with Yufen. V blessed by her "random ramblings":

[...] also hope tt more Christians can rise up to use God's annointing in their life to impact ppl outside
=)
(including myself ) of course
cos sometimes feel that it mite be more n more difficult for Christians to differentiate themselves from pre-believers because it seems tt ppl nowadays are getting more driven also n know what they want, so Christians beside sharing tt God wld give them a purpose, they need to be 'salty' enough for pre-believers to see that we are diff..
haha random rambling bro.. cos just 'chewing' on it.. thinking haha

Yah. I just found out from HQ that Rueyfong's now leading a CG. Wah. V encouraged! Haha, also 'cos he has the heart and skills and maturity.

Then I haha look at myself and wonder what do I have that God can use? Feel constantly inadequate and deeply unable. But I think that's why the sermon's so encouraging for me personally.

Boast of my weaknesses
'Cos I forget that God has given me an anointing already. Anointing to work with children... and some more, I love working with DIFFICULT children. I think it's a calling, 'cos it's not a natural thing for me actually... since I will rather retreat and avoid ppl who make me feel uncomfortable.

But yeah. Feel very thankful and glad today, because one of the boys in my CG wasn't paying attention to the sermon - and can't really compel him to pay attention... so tried to share my Bible w him but he wasn't really too interested. So was feeling rather discouraged, esp when seeing the other teachers interacting with the children. Asked God what do I do now? I feel helpless to make an impact on the children.

But I think the Holy Spirit reminded me that each teacher has a unique strength given by Him... I don't have to follow the styles of the other teachers. My style is different from others... and it's a unique strength... that enables me to connect to the tough boys, the difficult kids. (Maybe because I'm hardly the epitome of an authority figure, that they can feel comfortable with me haha...)

So yes, I decided to accompany the boy when he got up to leave early for his tuition. Like how we would accompany our visitors if they left service / CG early... bcos want to genuinely bless them. Felt a bit nervous, 'cos not sure how he'd take it - would he be v surprised? But decided to do it anyway. Committed it to God in prayer.

And lo and behold, the boy seemed pleasantly surprised. He chatted with me all the way to the MRT. I was v encouraged by his sharing, 'cos it's a sign that I can connect with him. Ha... I really feel closer and fonder of these "tough" boys haha...

My meetup with the boss last week
Another thing... you remember my sharing about the boss who sent me that marvellous email? (the one in my last posting). Yah, actually there's more than just the internship offer.

Haha... 'cos during the training workshop, she had seen my acting during the role-play, and haha, let's just say that a lot of ppl were impressed with me... haha... and she commented that I'm quite different from most hearing-impaired ppl, 'cos I don't speak like one who's hearing-impaired. And that my personality's very much more outgoing in a way.

And not only that... when she asked me why I had made my career switch, I told her that one reason is because life is short... so don't want to waste time. She was surprised, and remarked to me that most ppl my age don't have that viewpoint. So she asked me why, and I told her that it's because I'm a Christian, and also because of the van accident that I was in, in Kenya. Upon hearing that, she remarked that I'm very mature for my age, to think like that.

Wah. I was very surprised. Really meh? So haha I just thanked God in front of her... =) haha...

But yeah, this made me think. I guess I do have an anointing from God in this area... esp the speaking well part... it's just that I struggle since i'm a natural introvert.

But yes, when I'm doing what He wants me to do, I can literally feel His empowerment coming upon me... but to be honest, I am so surprised to find myself doing that. It's so unlike me... as my bros and sisters in church can testify. But I must have faith in God... and do what He wants me to do.

Hmm. Haha. It's late. Can't really think v much at this point. But yah, must be strong and courageous. Not to let my natural feelings of insecurity and inadequacy stop me from exercising the anointing God has given me.

And the anointing isn't for my own use. It's to bless the people around me. To meet their needs. I remember one line from Dick Lee's musical: Man of Letters. It really caught my attention...

In that musical, there was this lady who was trying to encourage our shy geeky protagonist to speak up for the workers. Think it went like this:

He: "I can't do it! I'm not good with speaking before people... I just want to avoid trouble, stay in my comfort zone!"

She: "No... You have a tremendous ability with words... so that is the reason why you HAVE to go up and speak for us."

Meeting Needs, Drawing People
Which goes on to the final part. Meeting needs, drawing people. I was chatting with a friend on MSN just now, and she remarked to me that she gets LOTS of windows every time she logs on to MSN. I exclaimed to her, "Wow, that's very fortunate..."

Well, she said that she's often distracted, because she wants to minister to the people she's supposed to take care of.

But still, I wonder about it. What was it about her that drew people to her? I think one reason is her natural bubbliness and personality haha... fun to chat with as well. And very comfortable to talk with.

So that's a need actually. People have a need to talk to someone they can feel comfortable with, trust, you know. Especially in this society, where there's the need for acceptance.

As Peter mused so succinctly:

ne of the statement that echoes in my head is the statement made by one of the church planters.."we have to do outreach a bit different..we have to meet their needs..."

[..]

I remembered eons ago Pastor Simon Eng said this.." Churches in Malaysia does not have much respect from the government..because they didn't do much changes (benefit) to the community around them.."

[..]

Jesus do go around meeting people's needs too. He don't just preach..He healed people of sickness and that helped draw crowds to Him as seen in many cases, people just came to look for Him for healing.

Meeting needs out of the care and heart of wanting to bless.

As Peter the apostle reminded Cornelius the Roman centurion:

"You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, telling the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.

You know what has happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached— how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him."

Personally, I think one major need - for any culture, but especially for our own society... is the need for people to feel loved and accepted. As Mother Teresa put it so harrowingly:

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”

And,

“One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.”

Hee. That's why I find so much meaning in the Nurture programme. To care for the children of God. Yes, the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.

But yah, on a bigger scale... I want to care for others, like Jesus cares for me. To care for my brothers and sisters. Even if I don't have anything else to give but friendship, well, Jesus can do something with that.

But yes! God has a plan to use everyone of us... as TH replied sagely to me when I told him that my strength can also be a weakness:

Your strength is always your strength! It's never a weakness. Your weakness is simply a potential strength that can grow.

Waaah. Insightful sia. Haha... =)