Wednesday, May 14, 2008


With apologies to Ben & Jerry's for using their beautiful banner... and oh, the carrot and radish are from Piczo Zone.

Just finished doing the e-invite for the upcoming U-bash! :) Thank God for His help and faithfulness. Even though I struggle with procrastination daily... yet He arms me with strength and enables me to get the job done. Truly, glory, hallelujah - Jesus is Lord over all - Lord over my time and strength too!

:)

Now have the New Testament Survey course assignment due this Saturday (40% of course weightage). And the HopeKids video. And the combined CG on Thursday. And... the Plan that I was supposed to send to Huaqiang and Peter... one month ago. *sweats*

Not only that... shepherding.

It's a joy to serve God, yes, but to be honest, I think I find myself starting to run dry on physical strength. Feeling more and more tired mentally. Which is starting to affect me emotionally and spiritually.

But thank God for the Word for Life course today. Faith. Knowing what the fruits of faith are enables me to monitor my own "vital signs" that help me know where I stand in regard to the measure of faith God has given me.
Romans 12:3
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.


And to be honest, there was something that happened right after my Mother's Day dinner... that made me realise that I may be having growing pride...

'cos I had prayed specifically to God that I can go off at 830pm latest so that I can make it on time to the Global Day of Prayer. And thank God! He answered my prayer on the dot... we arrived late, yet we finished our dinner... everything just fell so naturally into place, and it ended on the dot at 830.

But that's not the end of the story. After that, I prayed that I can make it at 845 pm to the GDOP, by faith.

Problem is, my dad tried to give me a lift there, but he zoomed past the exit on the expressway first time... so he circled back again. (Really so nice of him to go the extra mile - literally... am touched). But... he ended up one exit too early.

I was getting very frustrated with my dad, to be honest, and it was about 910 pm already. I was starting to feel very upset with God, worrying whether I can even make it to the GDOP. Asked Him, is it Your will for me to go to GDOP?

But no clear answer... so I took a cab there in the end - from Balestier Road. That's how far off we went.

I arrived there, upset and feeling far from spiritual. Confused with God too - wondering why He had answered my first prayer so promptly on the dot... and He didn't answer my second prayer.

But after reflecting... I think He wanted to humble me, after seeing how I had responded to His answering my first prayer. 'cOs I had subtly congratulated myself on having so much faith when I pray... and I realise that actually there was a small voice in my heart warning me that I was having pride here. Having faith in my faith, not faith in God alone.

But it did turn out, this latecoming, for my good... it helped me arrive with a humbled spirit... esp since I had flared up at my dad for making the same mistake twice... so had to ask God for His forgiveness...

it's good to remember that i'm dust after all. to remember that in the final analysis no one is good, but God alone. It's only by his blood, only by his mercy that i can even dare to approach Him to pray.

*pause*

Help me God. I need Your strength even more now. And one fear I have is that I could think I'm walking right with You when I'm doing a lot of ministry, etc... and if I had a faith that could move mountains, and gave all I had to the poor... even willing to die a martyr's death - by flames, no less! - but had not love...

Then I = nothing.

1 Corinthians 13 (NLT)
Love Is the Greatest
1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

*Convoluted reflections. Connect the dots*

Thank you for the sharing, bro. I can identify with those feelings. I love how your story ended - in sweet humility. Knowing that we are dust, unworthy, yet because we are so blessed, we often magnify our own importance instead of the grace amazingly given, every single little moment. Grace isn't a geyser or a bursting dam, it isn't continual, it is continuous, like a quiet but steady stream.

I'm reminded of the cat and dog joke:
Dog: "You feed me.. You must be God!"
Cat: "You feed me.. I must be God!"

Anonymous said...

Hee! Thank God for you dear bro. Your sharing is very helpful. Thanks for continually adding new insights and treasures into my life...

"The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook."

Love n God bless,
YA