Just had an argument with my mum. Thank God we resolved it peacefully... after I lost my temper. And it was over something so small - my not opening the door and windows in my room - she was worried about the air quality.

*pause*

I really need to grow in obeying God in honouring my parents more. And I see more and more how often I break His commands.

And this is such a long way from true maturity for me.

*thinking again*

As I shared with my mum, home is often where the worst part of us comes out most.

So in our context... one of the truest tests of character is how we behave at home, how we are at home.

But thank God too... that home is where the deepest grace and mercy can be found - getting the love that we do not deserve, and not getting the condemnation that we deserve.

How true it is with both my own family and the family of God.

I'm so tired, and spiritually dry. Think the past few days of disappointment, ups and down, like a boat tossed about in a storm have left me spiritually dry. (I remember that teaching by Alan on spiritual dryness... times of disappointment can be a factor in causing spiritual dryness.)

But even tho it's natural, it's important to get out of it asap.

Create in me a clean heart, O God
And renew a right spirit within me
Create in me a clean heart, O God
And renew a right spirit within me

Cast me not away from Thy presence, O Lord
And take not Thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation
And renew a right spirit within me

A Sweet Dream

Oh yeah, had a sweet dream - literally - after a nap today.

Actually, I had two naps in a row.

First nap, I dreamt I was in a conflict. Started fighting in a locker room. GOSH. We took up wooden benches and started throwing them around. o_O Maybe that was linked to some frustration I felt earlier before I slept.

Then I woke up. Puzzled. Fell asleep again.

Then dreamt that I went to USA - Chicago, I think it was - to go church-planting. Whoo! And the brother who hosted us was so hospitable. He took us to a Starbucks cafe and it was all on him! :) So I happily chose a strawberry-laden cheesecake and some other cake stuff. Deeee-licious!

Whoa. I'm hoping the second dream is prophetic. But the first? Umm. :P LOL. I hope it's NOT prophetic.

But what a sweet second dream! Haha...

Thanks, Weizhu, for trying to call me just now. :)

Just felt very touched actually haha. Deeply appreciate it. Thanks for being a Jonathan, an Onesiphorus, in my life, to help me look up to Jesus, to find my strength in God, to learn to be still before Him.

Think that is one of the best gifts that a true friend in Christ can give.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs

Disappointed.

It's times like these when your emotions overwhelm your reason, and... I struggle to trust God.

Thank God for the Bible class on Faith - it came at just the right time.

Faith isn't easy. But that's what proves it to be genuine.

Still, just feeling disappointed.

Be Still, and Know He Is God...

Something happened today that affected me very much.

So called up Weizhu.

One thing that he shared with me was besides pouring out my feelings to God, I also need to be still and listen to Him share.

I need His presence. There are so many depths of feelings within me - "deep calls to deep". It hurts, and something I realised is that in an attempt to delete away memories related to the pain, it only served to reawaken even more memories, which made the feeling of pain even worse.

So realised that this is not the way.

Just feel this yawning ache within me.

The only way to heal the heart is to go to Jesus, He who bore all my sins on the cross for me... and be still. To kneel before Him and let Him be my Lord and Master once again.


Now reading Psalm 46. :)

It strengthened my heart very much more.

And to be honest, I think God is whispering to me in the midst of all my fears, anger and confusion...

He is asking me to face my deepest fear full-on.

I'm thinking right now whether I have the strength to endure the long, hard road ahead. Especially if He calls me to go church-planting.

I fear I don't have the courage or strength to persevere, but ... I remember Hebrews 12:2 admonishing me to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith.

Yes, Lord... I will fix my eyes daily, as long as it is called Today, unto You Lord Jesus. The pain is there daily, but You told me this is the way of the cross - deny myself and take up my cross daily and follow You.

Ten years, and You have never ever disappointed me. For You are Faithful and True.

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

:)

So I'll trust in You now anew
Though my struggles be not few
For You said that to You follow
We'd have to bow down low

So daily our crosses we'll now carry
Though it'd be much easier to tarry
Still yet better not to grow weary
Even though our years ahead look dreary

For You care for us so dear
That we have nothing to fear
And You daily give us strength
To run the race to its utmost length.

Thank God for Prayer...

Thank God the Myanmar government is finally opening up to foreign aid. :D Believe the hundred of thousands of prayers from all over the world must have really helped open doors... Jesus really is the King of kings and Lord of Lords! =)

Talking about prayer... during my Bible reading today - I was struck by how God answered the prayers of two very different men - one a Jew, the other a Gentile (who wasn't technically a Christian yet, but a God-fearer)... the thing is whether we are praying and seeking God in the first place. Doesn't matter who you are or what you've done... if I genuinely seek the Lord with all my heart... He will let Himself be found by me.

Oh! :) Something great to thank God for too. My project manager liked the video clip that I had produced for a project. Praise God indeed for His answering my prayer...

But the better thing is, had the joy of being able to pray for one of my colleagues. 'Cos his wife's bearing a baby, so asked him how's it going. Thank God his wife and baby are fine. So offered to pray for his wife and baby on the spot (he's a Catholic), and he gladly let me. =D

It's such a joy and a blessing to be able to pray for others, especially on the spot. =D

Acts 3:6
"Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth..."

Oh yes, Jonathan's having his 2nd interview at 11 am today. =D Pray for him yeah!

Just came back from attending Jesse's dad's wake.

Mad Metaphors!

Some metaphors written by students in high school English class....

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag
filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left New York at 6:36 PM traveling west at 55 mph, the other
from Chicago at 4:19 PM traveling east at a speed of 35 mph.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but
a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

A Wake-up Call for Us?

Just felt the above blog post on the two disasters that occurred recently... how can the Christian make sense of these disasters?

Andrew has written a very good post on this.

Ironmen In The Making! :D

Watched Indy Jones with Jonathan. Whoa! It's good! :D Like the show a lot. Lots of action and chase-scenes. Fantastic... true-blue Indy tradition!

Haha... ok, I liked the show. =D

Jonathan shared with me on his own initiative what he learnt from his Bible reading of Luke. Whoa. Really thank God for him. Was very blessed and encouraged, not only because he's reading the Bible more now - but especially because of his teachable heart. :D And actually I was very refreshed by what he shared with me - I learnt a few new insights from what he shared. :D LOL! "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." In other words, we become Ironmen. :D See, the Bible really has the answer to everything for life, even how to become an Ironman. :D Marvel-lous!

But especially blessed to see his humility and realness, and willing heart to listen... even when I scold him at times. I'm reminded constantly of this Scripture that says, "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in [Jonathan] will carry it on to completion till the day of Christ Jesus." I can only say that it's God who is working in his life, day by day, bit by bit, metre by metre. Being conformed to the image of Christ, being sanctified, being purified... all this is a daily process. When was growth ever easy, and when was it ever quick? But God will make you and me grow, no matter how long it takes - as long as you and I are willing to surrender just a little more of ourselves TODAY to Him. To learn to die to our old selves a little more each day... so that in dying to ourselves, we then find life overflowing out of where we died.

Think shepherding really is by faith. Ultimately, it's God who can work through people's lives to touch other people's lives. Why He wants to do that? I have no idea, save for the fact that He very much prefers to do so. It's a mystery to me indeed... But yeah, I must constantly shower and bathe my sheep in prayer... in fact, I am sinning against God when I fail to pray for my sheep, for all those He has entrusted to my care.

What Samuel the prophet told the people of Israel:

1 Samuel 12:23
As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right.

Wow. :D The Lord really is Jonathan's shepherd... and He is my shepherd too. :D

Oh. Iron + sheep... you know, that gives me a lame joke idea.

Q: Why couldn't the hungry wolves eat the sheep?
A: Because the sheep had steel wool.

Get it?













Never mind. You must be a bit rusty. :P Haha!

FACTBOX: Why oil prices are at a record high

(Reuters) - U.S. crude oil hit an all-time high of $130.47 a barrel.

Robust demand for crude and a weak dollar have fuelled the rally from a dip below $50 at the start of 2007.

Adjusted for inflation, oil is now above the $101.70 peak hit in April 1980, according to the International Energy Agency, a year after the Iranian revolution. [read more...]

Developing Men who Take on the Heavy Lifting of Ministry

Read this article, and thought it's very interesting. Thank God for Jason who's been initiating a Bible study guide through the book of Acts for the brothers in his CG and his sheep to help prepare them for the church camp.

This comment from the above article set me thinking:

Can you name three things which cause emotional discomfort in the average unchurched man? Try these on: singing, socializing, and sharing. Ironically, most men’s events, programs, retreats, or small groups place a high premium on all of these. Men treat emotions like smelly socks: They put them in the back of the drawer or in the hamper. They are not something they cozy up to! So when you seek to build a men’s culture that is attractive, you have to balance the fact that most men are in emotional kindergarten and that their DNA is built to avoid these exercises.

Of course, it's important to realise that we men do need to share our feelings, etc, deeper, but that has to be in the context of close secure relationships. Even for a 'feeler' man like me, something I've realised is that I still do desire to accomplish, to achieve, to attain some goal, some thing, etc.

In my workplace, it's very interesting to observe and learn how the guys in the workplace connect to one another. We're perfectly fine talking about THINGS and work. To talk about feelings is a very awkward thing - only for the deepest life-and-death situations. =)

But one good thing is that we guys do bond over work, and it's a genuine bond of sorts.

Yup, just some thoughts. Meanwhile there's the HopeKids video to do. Still feeling tired, low and starting to feel spiritually dry. How have I allowed myself to slack on reading the Bible every night? Through meaningless web-surfing, squandering my time away! :( I need to fast from web-surfing. Think I'll do it tomorrow... but yah, really need the Word of God in my heart to survive, and to thrive.

Today was an unusually tough day in the office. I remembered that my prayers that morning, because of my spiritual dryness, were very short and mumbling.

Just feel so...

Never mind. I go pray now. =)

Just feeling a bitter taste.

*ponder*

No wonder they call it bitterness. That subtle anger that lurks at the back of your tongue, and you feel like spewing out words that will rend the other person down.

It's a nauseating sweetness. A sweetness that you actually like, even though you know it will poison you.

I just find it so hard to leave my seat and go and pray.

God, help me.

I just feel so overwhelmed, but I don't know how to say it in words. Maybe I'll give someone a call later.

A Lament

Today's Vesak Day and I read in the newspapers about the growth of Buddhist organizations in Singapore, especially those in the young adults range - my age range. But what made me feel very sad was seeing how some Christians choose to come down and listen to Buddhist talks... saying that "Buddhism is an all-inclusive, non-exclusive religion..."

I've nothing against those who practise Buddhism... it's just that, to be honest, I believe that Jesus is the only way to the Father. I have to, if I claim to follow Jesus. Because Jesus Himself said very clearly: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

If the whole world were to reject Christ and go after religions and philosophies... would I still remain a Christian?

I had a small foretaste of my answer. After reading the article on Buddhism's growth in Singapore, I was thinking, what if the entire population of Singapore became anything but Christian... and I was the only one who still believed in Jesus, would I still hold on?

I realised that in my heart, I was already struggling. I realised that I was starting to have questions, asking, "If I was the only person left in Singapore who believed in the one true God, would I still hold on?"

Because Christianity has a very difficult problem: It says that Jesus is the only way to the Father. No other options, no other ways.

If I did believe that Christ was the only way to the Father... that would mean 99.999999% of the world was... LOST.

Ok, leaving the little children out - esp those who are too young to know right from wrong... 50% of the world?

And this story came to mind after I prayed. The story of the prophet Elijah moaning to the LORD that he was the only one left in Israel who still believed in the one true God 'cos the rest of Israel had gone worshipping false gods. God told Elijah, "I have reserved for myself 7000 others who have not bowed their knees to Baal."

And Jesus hanging on the cross... rejected by the entire world. Would I still have stayed by him?

Honestly, I think I'd do what the other disciples did: Cabut! (Abandon ship!)

This is a hard question. But yeah, thank God He gave me two experential answers to this tough question. Elijah and Jesus himself. Old Testament and New Testament.

*ponders*

I know I should be sharing the gospel with my colleagues... living out my faith in a stronger and more convicted manner. I should live with such integrity, that I wouldn't have to flush with shame whenever I tell my colleagues I'm going to read my Bible / go to church. I see the mismatch between my own public and private values, and I'm ashamed of my character inconsistencies. I see my own lack of convictions, the backbone of straw, the feet of clay, that remain hidden till the critical moment of testing... when I collapse and fail not only those around me, but God as well utterly.

Actually, come to think of it - all of us have already failed God utterly.

Oh. Yet He forgave us on the cross, saying, "Father, forgive Yeu Ann, for he doesn't know what he is doing."

*ponders*

Ubash Kranji Farm Visit 19 May 08

Ubash Farm Visit 19 May 08
Kranji -
May 19, 2008
by Yeo

Thank God for a very successful filming for the HopeKids camp. the Lord really was very kind... whatever details I wasn't able to settle.. He took care of it... such as the location, the clothing styles...

Thank God for Peter, Kin Wee, Shunrong, Yufen and even Sharon who dropped by haha. :D Deeply blessed and encouraged by their willingness and support. :D Praise God indeed!!!

Social Justice

Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!

- Amos 5:23-24

Lost Generation

Just felt so much pain and sadness when I read about the people killed in the earthquake. Yesterday, while reading about a 40+ years old man who had lost his teenage daughter... just felt so deeply moved that tears came to my eyes.

John 11:32-35

32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.

34"Where have you laid him?" he asked.
"Come and see, Lord," they replied.

35Jesus wept.

I was asking God, "God, why did You allow all these people to die? Innocent young children... an entire generation wiped out... all the people weeping and mourning... and the anguish of parents knowing they have lost their one and only child...

Lord, if you had been here..."

But through the above Scripture, I realise that the Father is deeply filled with compassion, and the Son has wept, and the Spirit is deeply moved.

The Father understands what it is like to lose a son, for His one and only son was mangled on the cross.

The Son understands what it is like to lose a dear friend, for He wept over Lazarus' death.

The Spirit understands what it is like to have no words left to speak, for He pleads for us with groans that words cannot express.

The Lord really understands. He does.

I was reflecting after that. There was this quote by a 24-years old man, Song Jian, who escaped with his life and nothing else except the clothes on his back. He said simply: "Being alive is the greatest wealth anyone can have."

Rich or poor, we all will experience pain and grief - and we can never escape that truth. (Ironically, Gautama (the founder of Buddhism), if I remember my history correctly, died in pain from food poisoning. I'm not sure how he handled it - probably as stoically as possible, but the fact is that he most likely died in pain. You can't ever escape suffering's reality, as long as you're in this world.)

That is why people need the Gospel - that there is a hope that lies beyond the grave.

---

Burma 'guilty of inhuman action'

And felt so much anger at the incompetent and arrogant government of Myanmar. I was in Peninsula Plaza yesterday, and happened to pass by a Myanmar cafe. I saw a man and a woman standing at the door of the restaurant, gesticulating loudly to the crowd, who was paying attention to them. Though I couldn't understand their language, I felt a general sense of silent anger, frustration and depression welling up in the sombre room.

Thank God for Peter who has inspired me to have a godly sense of anger towards injustice and unrighteousness. He didn't explicitly teach this heart attitude to me, but I saw how he feels deeply whenever he sees cases of social injustice and so on. It IS good to be angry for the right reasons - for our God is a righteous Judge...

Psalm 7:11
God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses his wrath every day.

He is full of wrath towards the injustice that He sees daily, and I can be certain that His blood is boiling when He sees the blatantly uncaring attitude of the ungodly junta. Surely He will bring justice to these evildoers sooner or later!

But thank God for the Chinese Government. Especially Premier Wen Jiabao caring for the people. Though of course the propaganda ministry will be more than happy to show him doing so, somehow I just see the compassion in his eyes - you can't fake them. Somehow I have the feeling that a hundred years from now, the names of the Presidents will be long forgotten, consigned to history's dust, but Premier Wen's name will be studied as a case study of a good man who cared for the people under his rule.

"Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."

---

Talking about social justice, I think we shouldn't invest in any commodities that trade in food or oil prices. Otherwise we will be guilty of the crime of feeding on the poor.

A banker in the Straits Times tried to justify these possible increases by saying that the increases due to speculation and investment in these food and oil commodities are less than that due to demand and supply.

But do we really need to make prices even one cent higher for the poor?

The rich seek to make a killing by cashing in on these commodities. But are we not in danger of killing the poor then?

And it's so SICK that rich oil cartels have been hoarding oil... for God's sake, the world needs oil to manufacture fertilizers to grow food!

Let's honour God by giving to the poor - you can do it by contributing to World Vision or Red Cross or UNICEF... just pick a good charity! Especially at a time like this when millions are in danger of starvation and/or absolute poverty.

James 4:13-5:6
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

1Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. 6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.

Finally got all these thoughts off my chest. I think have to... it's important to be willing to speak up for social justice as Christians, lest we start getting all comfortable and cohabit with the world's values...

Let's pray in the end, 'cos when we pray, the hands of God move in ways we cannot see. For example, a few days after House of Prayer, when we prayed for God to soften the hearts of the oil cartels to increase their oil supplies, the news reported that they were considering doing so a few days after we prayed.

And when we prayed that the Myanmarese govt would wake up its ideas and start accepting foreign aid, it has now started doing so... a bit.

WE NEED TO PRAY MORE! The spiritual forces of evil are very, very, very strong in the top echelons of this junta...

And let's pray for our own governments, wherever we are.

Let's pray to God, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

That reminds me. We need to be more concerned about social justice in our own homes too. For the maids too.

I'm proud of my dad. Despite my mum's complaints about the maid taking such a long time walking the dog, my dad explained patiently to her that the maid is also human - she needs time out to just walk around and talk with her friends downstairs.

Small thing, but I'm really proud of my dad. :D

Hiskandar's Wedding =)

Hiskandar and his beautiful wife. =)

We were classmates in RI in Sec 1 and 2. Very nice guy (with a great sense of humour)... He still looks the same after all these years!

Anyway thank God I caught him in time... he's working in Ministry of Foreign Affairs and will be posted to Abu Dhabi in June for the next 3 years. He told me to go look for him should I go to the UAE one of these days, and he'll show me around, etc. etc.

=) See, I told you he was a very nice guy.

Anyway my first time attending a Malay wedding. Unsure what to give the couple since it was a Malay wedding - "Hongbaos? I'm not sure..." - so bought them a nice pair of deer (the toys, not the animals) instead.

Then, I saw his best man packing up what looked like none other than... you guessed it. Hongbaos. In all their scarlet splendour.

LOL! We Singaporeans truly live in a multi-cultural society. =D

Personally, it was a meaningful time for me. Malay weddings are "can come in any time, free and easy, eat all you can, friend!" events. Not like the highly structured Chinese wedding dinners... I've also heard that Latin American and African parties are like that - "can come in any time..."

Thank God for the blessing of living in a multicultural country like Singapore. Really appreciating this blessing, especially after the Missions Night a few days ago. It was very impactful and meaningful. Both Jason and I were sharing to one another how God renewed the sparks for missions in our hearts.

To be completely His.

Feeling tired and melancholic now. Was surfing xkcd webcomic, and while meaningful, the contents are not healthy for a tired mind... they talk about romance and etc so on.

Waiting upon God requires patient endurance. Jason asked me on the way back from the New Testament course today: "If God wanted you to pray for the gift of celibacy, would you pray?"

I thought for a while and replied, "Of course I would. It's a gift, and what a joy it is not to be hindered by these constant desires for a relationship. The gift of celibacy is truly a gift from God. There are some things that a single missionary can do that a married missionary cannot do."

"But I would also pray for the strength to withstand the external pressures. Societal pressures - my parents prodding me, friends, concerned bros and sisters... I'd need His help to stand firm and not yield."

With apologies to Ben & Jerry's for using their beautiful banner... and oh, the carrot and radish are from Piczo Zone.

Just finished doing the e-invite for the upcoming U-bash! :) Thank God for His help and faithfulness. Even though I struggle with procrastination daily... yet He arms me with strength and enables me to get the job done. Truly, glory, hallelujah - Jesus is Lord over all - Lord over my time and strength too!

:)

Now have the New Testament Survey course assignment due this Saturday (40% of course weightage). And the HopeKids video. And the combined CG on Thursday. And... the Plan that I was supposed to send to Huaqiang and Peter... one month ago. *sweats*

Not only that... shepherding.

It's a joy to serve God, yes, but to be honest, I think I find myself starting to run dry on physical strength. Feeling more and more tired mentally. Which is starting to affect me emotionally and spiritually.

But thank God for the Word for Life course today. Faith. Knowing what the fruits of faith are enables me to monitor my own "vital signs" that help me know where I stand in regard to the measure of faith God has given me.

Romans 12:3
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

And to be honest, there was something that happened right after my Mother's Day dinner... that made me realise that I may be having growing pride...

'cos I had prayed specifically to God that I can go off at 830pm latest so that I can make it on time to the Global Day of Prayer. And thank God! He answered my prayer on the dot... we arrived late, yet we finished our dinner... everything just fell so naturally into place, and it ended on the dot at 830.

But that's not the end of the story. After that, I prayed that I can make it at 845 pm to the GDOP, by faith.

Problem is, my dad tried to give me a lift there, but he zoomed past the exit on the expressway first time... so he circled back again. (Really so nice of him to go the extra mile - literally... am touched). But... he ended up one exit too early.

I was getting very frustrated with my dad, to be honest, and it was about 910 pm already. I was starting to feel very upset with God, worrying whether I can even make it to the GDOP. Asked Him, is it Your will for me to go to GDOP?

But no clear answer... so I took a cab there in the end - from Balestier Road. That's how far off we went.

I arrived there, upset and feeling far from spiritual. Confused with God too - wondering why He had answered my first prayer so promptly on the dot... and He didn't answer my second prayer.

But after reflecting... I think He wanted to humble me, after seeing how I had responded to His answering my first prayer. 'cOs I had subtly congratulated myself on having so much faith when I pray... and I realise that actually there was a small voice in my heart warning me that I was having pride here. Having faith in my faith, not faith in God alone.

But it did turn out, this latecoming, for my good... it helped me arrive with a humbled spirit... esp since I had flared up at my dad for making the same mistake twice... so had to ask God for His forgiveness...

it's good to remember that i'm dust after all. to remember that in the final analysis no one is good, but God alone. It's only by his blood, only by his mercy that i can even dare to approach Him to pray.

*pause*

Help me God. I need Your strength even more now. And one fear I have is that I could think I'm walking right with You when I'm doing a lot of ministry, etc... and if I had a faith that could move mountains, and gave all I had to the poor... even willing to die a martyr's death - by flames, no less! - but had not love...

Then I = nothing.

1 Corinthians 13 (NLT)
Love Is the Greatest
1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Back from Global Day of Prayer!

"For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea".
Habakkuk 2:14

Was chatting with a friend about this on MSN just now... for more details, check her blog! :)

so exciting
really can sense the unity of the Spirit
i had the blessing of being able to pray tog with this older bro
who was praying v fervently
he's frm wesley methodist church
and he even offered to give me a lift home if i needed
am blessed by his generosity
tink one of the most touching moments
tt made me ... ahem... cry a bit
was seeing how all the flags of the nations
were gathered before Jesus
just really felt so burdened
to see all the nations won to His glory
ev'ry nation, ev'ry tribe, ev'ry ppl, ev'ry language
so cool
:D

Hee! Thank God for His grace and faithfulness... I managed to reach to pray for Singapore and for the Government... I personally prayed for God's wisdom and anointing and protection and good health to be upon our Prime Minister...

But yeah! the unity of the churches... seriously... I think God has been answering our prayers the past 2 years... just sense in my own heart a greater taste and experience... my own church too... we are working more and more with the other churches in Singapore... what a great joy to see the corporate unity of the Church in Singapore!

And the song! "Stand up, stand up for Jesus!" It's very manly... to the point it put a hard lump in my throat. 'Cos one of the stanzas really spoke to me:

Stand up, stand up for Jesus, the trumpet call obey;
Forth to the mighty conflict, in this His glorious day.
Ye that are men now serve Him against unnumbered foes;
Let courage rise with danger, and strength to strength oppose.

And seeing all the flags of the nations waving back and forth... it brought tears to my eyes, because I knew that I was starting to see with my own eyes the vision God had given me back in 2002... the great multitude that no one can count, from ev'ry nation, tribe, people and language.

It makes my heart jump with joy every time I see just a little glimpse of the great multitude that He promised in Revelation 7:9-10:

After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.

And they cried out in a loud voice:

"Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb."

All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying:

"Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!"

Imagine! We - ordinary mortals like you and me - one day shall cry this very declaration before the Lamb of God... and you know what? The mightest angels, the wisest elders, the holiest living creatures - all of them can only bow down before God and say, "Amen!"

It's such a sheer joy, thinking of the humble privilege that God allows us - mere humans - to make this amazing declaration of God's salvation! And the sinless angels can only look in awe at this mystery... they can never ever sing redemption's song... for they have never known the joy of being saved.

Oh how marvellous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh how marvellous! O how wonderful!
Is my Saviour's love for me...

Hee! :) So ... happy. It is so exciting indeed to see what the Lord is going to do in the days to come.

And though these are days of great trial,
Of famine and darkness and sword,
Still, we are the voice in the desert crying
'Prepare ye the way of the Lord!'

Behold He comes riding on the clouds,
Shining like the sun at the trumpet call;
Lift your voice, it's the Year of Jubilee,
For out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

I took some pics! Saw Huanyan and Minchen there. Had a good supper with Jason, Clarence and Rachel. :D Really very blessed to see them. Shall upload soon!

Global Day of Prayer!

Ahh! I'm supposed to have Mother's Day dinner... but nvm! shall pray for my mum to be blessed... and I really pray tt I can quickly make my way down to GDOP. Asked Clarence to help chope a seat for me if possible!

Just feel so much excitement and anticipation in my heart...

Today during House of Prayer, we had a very interesting prayer theme: Prayer for the World. We prayed about various global issues. To my surprise, I found that Peter and I feel very strongly about the same issues - esp the social injustices behind the food and oil price crises - and for the same reason: hoarding by the rich at the expense of the poor.

Oh LORD! Help us cry to You - to give You no rest till You establish Your Jerusalem and make her the praise of the earth!

Cultivating the Soul

Cultivating the Soul
Spiritual formation can happen, without saying a word.
by Gordon MacDonald

We were given this article to read during our New Testament Survey course yesterday. It's really an excellent article. This passage in particular really caught my attention:

When a piece of our land is renewed, Gail and I are always surprised at the beauty that occurs almost overnight. Wild flowers appear; forest animals visit; good trees mature. The virtues of creation just seem to appear. And when the soul is similarly attended to, there appear the virtues of godly character.

A frank opinion? I don't think a lot of men and women in leadership know this. I mean really know it. What drives my opinion are these impressions.

First, the primary subject matter of most training and motivational conferences on leadership seems to be all about vision, about clever, well-researched programs, about growing large, successful institutions. Admittedly good stuff. But missing is the recognition that soul cultivation goes before institution building. How do you grow large, healthy, and authentic churches (the current rage) without growing the soul of a leader, which sustains the effort over the long haul?

A second impression: the dreadful casualty list of men and women who do not make it to a tenth anniversary in Christian ministry. Burnout, failure, disillusionment are exacting a terrible toll. I'm amazed how many ministers just disappear, drop off the edge.

A third: the constant conversations I have with younger men and women who confide that they are spiritually dry, unmotivated, despairing, and wondering what to do about it.

...

The forming of the soul that it might be a dwelling place for God is the primary work of the Christian leader. This is not an add-on, an option, or a third-level priority. Without this core activity, one almost guarantees that he/she will not last in leadership for a life-time or that what work is accomplished will become less and less reflective of God's honor and God's purposes.

In his twenties, William Booth (founder of the Salvation Army) wrote a letter to his wife, describing his feelings of discouragement and ineffectiveness. He was close to quitting, he said.

Catherine, a remarkable woman, wrote back: "I know how possible it is to preach and pray and sing, and even shout, while the heart is not right with God. I know how popularity and prosperity have a tendency to elate and exalt self, if the heart is not humble before God. I know how Satan takes advantage of these things to work out the destruction (if possible) of one whom the Lord uses to pull down strongholds of his kingdom, and all these considerations make me tremble, and weep, and pray for you, my dearest love, that you may be able to overcome all his devices, and having done all to stand, not in your own strength but in humble dependence on Him who worketh 'all in all.'"

As far as I can tell, Catherine was 23 when she wrote these words. But she was not too young to "get it." William's spiritual core, she understood, was the key to everything.

[read more...]

It was a very captivating article. Personally, I think I'm starting to identify with William Booth. Been leading a video production team for the HopeKids camp, and the biggest problem I face is myself. My utter inadequacies and so on. It's so beyond me that I groan inwardly to God - "Dear God, what on earth am I doing this for heaven's sake?" But praise God for Shunrong, Yufen, Kin Wee, Guanzhen and some other friends. :)

And thank God truly, this passage from Scripture encourages me whenever I groan to God about my weaknesses:

Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

:D Amen!

Reminded right now of a dear friend who's initiating an overseas project to help migrant children. Am greatly inspired by this friend's heart for God, and also her fellow Christian friends who are supporting her in prayer. As one of them encouraged, "I have faith in God... Mark my words, this project will be a success."

Whoa!

*inhales hard*

---

Charmaine went through with us in the class about the history of Paul the apostle. And one thing that struck me was that Paul didn't immediately jump into missions or start leading a church, but he first tarried in Damascus, where the Lord himself personally instructed Paul, and later on, in his hometown of Tarsus for a few years.

So I was thinking, what did Paul do during these times of tarrying? Methinks he was being strengthened and prepared by God first, before God would send him to carry the Gospel to the Gentiles.

I was also thinking about my own life.

Like what I shared with Jonathan: Only after 10 years as a Christian am I finally mentoring a younger brother. I had been wondering why so long, and crying out to God to show me what was wrong with me, that I would have been 'spiritually barren' for so long.

And a dear friend shared with me back in 2005 that she had been observing me, and wondering what was wrong with me that I wasn't taking care of a 'sheep' even after many, many years. So in a way she started judging me subtly. But she said that God corrected her and told her that it's not the outward form that matters, but the heart to take care of a sheep that matters in His eyes.

That sharing of hers was intended to encourage me. But that ended up making me feel even more discouraged and disappointed. LOL. Backfired!

But! That comment turned out to be really for my good. :D Because that made me cry out even more to God to give me a sheep... and to give me a shepherd's heart.

Still, God remained silent regarding this plea. He didn't show me the reason for my spiritual barrenness at that time.

But one day He spoke this gentle reminder from 2 Corinthians: "For if the willingness is there, [my] gift [to God] is acceptable according to what I have, not what I do not have." It was doubly confirmed - both during my quiet time, and when my shepherd shared the above verse with me.

So now this year I'm taking care of a sheep. It's amazing. And yet, I'm not amazed at all, even though it took God ten years to prepare me to take care of a sheep as compared to others... but does it matter? Our heavenly Father knows best what's best for us.

Because I've learnt over the years that this is how God likes to work. His general style is to prepare His people first before He calls them to service. The bigger the task that He has in mind, the deeper the foundation He'll lay first. Tee-hee! That encourages me a lot!

Thank God for my dear shepherds who, from the first shepherd to the last, have faithfully hammered into me this message that loving God with everything within me and loving people as myself are the two most important things in life, ever.

And that it is NOT the position that makes one a godly person. It is character.
And that it is NOT the skills that influence people. It is love for God and for people.

Hmm. Yup... life's about loving God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and with all my strength. And to love my neighbour as myself. You can be a world-changer this way, one person at a time.

*rant*

I feel really, really pissed off. Someone in my family did something that I found very inconsiderate and selfish. Was so pissed off that I knew I was going to explode.

So prayed in the Spirit. And think God was telling me, whoa, whoa. Forgive this person... and remember... you yourself have done the same thing to someone else before.

*inner steam cooling down now*

Yah. This, especially, after I prayed for patience and a sweeter spirit in controlling my temper a few hours earlier.

Still... Lord! I feel really... stewing now.

At least I understand better how the other person that I did the inconsiderate thing to must have felt.

I need Your help... Father... to resolve this anger I feel. Still clenching my teeth.

"Bro, sometimes it takes the greater man to let go and forgive." - Yanjie's SMS from last time.

Gee. Thanks Dad for the timely reminder. Help me ... make sense of this experience. In Jesus' name, let it be so.

Little Drops of Water

Little drops of water,
Little grains of sand,
Make the mighty ocean
And the pleasant land.

So the little moments,
Humble though they be,
Make the mighty ages
Of Eternity.

So the little errors
Lead the soul away
From the paths of virtue
Far in sin to stray.

Little deeds of kindness,
Little words of love,
Help to make earth happy,
Like the Heaven above.

-Julia A. F. Carney, "Little Things"

Gospel For Asia responds to the Myanmar crisis

Got this email appeal from Gospel For Asia too... you can consider making your donations to support the brothers and sisters there too - even as they themselves are rolling up their own sleeves to serve their fellow citizens, regardless of race or religion. (If you've another Christian organization to suggest, feel free to let me know! :))

Galatians 6:10
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

This is a moment of opportunity to do good to all people - whatever their faith... and especially to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ there (if you're a Christian too).

And pray for the government of Myanmar to act wisely too. Pray that the government'll get its act together and quickly rescue and help the victims... so that they can truly earn the honour and respect that they keep demanding so much.

Dear Mr. Yeo,

I am in India right now and feel that I must share a very serious situation with you. The news from Burma (Myanmar) is desperate. Reports estimate more than 10,000 people died in the recent cyclone. At 2:30 a.m. on Saturday, winds of 120 mph and walls of water devastated the southern part of the country.

In Rangoon (Yangon), Burma's largest city, our Bible college suffered heavy damage, and we are still trying to find out just how many of our 400 churches and 250 mission stations have been destroyed.

The suffering of the people is unimaginable. Hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, are homeless. Food is in short supply, and prices are skyrocketing. Electricity may be out for months. People have lost literally everything.

Yet God is also opening miraculous doors, and you can make a difference.

In a land where Christians are a small minority, we are now being asked to help. Where official government policy has banned relief work by non-governmental organizations, the police in Rangoon have come to our Bible college, openly seeking assistance.

Refugees from a nearby orphanage and even Buddhist monks have come looking for food and shelter. And of course, we are doing everything we can to minister to them in the name of Jesus.

Because communications are down and transportation crippled, we do not yet know how many of our Christian brothers and sisters have lost their homes. But we do know that, regardless of their own suffering, they are volunteering to share the love of Christ with those who have lost everything—and who have no hope.

But these battered believers need your help—not only to rebuild their own lives, but to provide the emergency supplies that will bring life and hope to those around them.

Please click here to send what you can today to support their sacrificial work. Your gift will make a huge difference in the lives of those who are suffering so terribly, and it will bring them the hope that can only be found in Christ.

Thank you for your love and compassion.

Yours for the suffering of Burma,

K.P. Yohannan
Founder & President

PS: To learn more about the situation in Burma and how GFA is helping, click here.

I've already made my own donation... Do donate too! 'Cos the Lord wants to use YOU to be His instrument of love... people are asking, "Where is God in all this?"

The answer that our Lord Jesus gives is very clear: "Yes, I AM here... the Church is My physical body on earth to help the poor, serve the needy and save the lost and dying."

American Red Cross stands ready to aid cyclone survivors in Myanmar

Donate online now!

More than 22,000 dead in Myanmar cyclone: state TV

YANGON - MORE than 22,000 people have been killed and 41,000 left missing after a powerful cyclone hit Myanmar last weekend, state television said on Monday.

The toll was likely to rise as officials made contact with the worst-hit areas, the military government's foreign minister said. [read more...]

UNICEF in Myanmar: Rapid response critical to saving lives

Donate to UNICEF (you'll need to print out and mail to them due to technical problems.)

Argh! Struggling with procrastination - I'm supposed to chip in my part for the group assignment for the New Testament Survey course that I'm doing for my HopeSem class!

Lord, help me through this temptation to procrastinate... In Jesus' name amen!

Chi, the 2 weeks old kitten at E1A :)

Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.

Why Planning is Important :)

Just came back from meeting up with Clarence. Thank God for this dear bro, feel incredibly blessed by his heart for God. :D In a way he's not tt young as a believer - he backslided for quite a while, but after tt he decided to come back to church last/this year.

One thing he said struck me a lot (to paraphrase him):

"Quite a few people have been wanting to encourage me by telling me how much I've been growing. But I have to remember that the object of my growth shouldn't be growth itself, but rather, God. I don't want to grow for the sake of hearing people tell me how much I've grown. But rather, I want to grow to know God more, to love Him more."

It really warmed my heart so much to hear that. :) Love God, love people.

Micah 6:8
"And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God."

:)

Went down yesterday to NUS to visit the bros and sisters mugging for their exams. Finally saw the ginger kitten that Uncle Huanyan was telling me about. :) It's oh-so-cute...







It's so frail and tiny - you just feel so moved when you see it. :) Wonder how God sees the little kitten. =)

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all

Huanyan and I fed the kitten using a syringe. The kitten sucked HY's fingers - you could hear the little suckling sounds. And the funny thing was, it saw the syringe as a competitor, and tried to brush it away. So I squirted some milk onto HY's finger and the kitten sucked the milk, while I kept dripping more milk onto the finger.

Joyce and her friend came by, and they were joking how "maternal" we were. :P Ah laugh some more... this is good training for future fathers ok... increase our "market value" LOL!

But oh yeah, thank God for Joyce. Had a good time of catching up with her over dinner the day before, and we also bought a milk dropper for the kitten. (But think we'll have to use it later on, when kitty's bigger.)

Gotta sleep now. Am still having writer's block on the video script. It's ... painful, just thinking and struggling through the script. Like crawling through a desert. Sad. Need to keep praying... and to ask for help!

Thank God for Lois' timely encouragement:

"He will make rivers in the desert ;)
Isa 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert."

Amen! If He is able to make water gush out of a rock in the desert, then He is more than able to make creative juices flow out of my stone head. :P LOL! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him indeed...

What Huaqiang shared with me today: Planning for people is always never easy.

Gosh. Thank God for the acknowledgements and the words of encouragement from ppl like Lois and Peter and HQ... it's not easy, but when was growth ever easy? And when was it ever quick?

And need to grow in having a greater heart to take more initiative. If we always leave things to run their course... to let nature take its course, then the CG'll never grow much. We can only receive from God as much as we expect to receive.

Like what I learnt in the Faith WFL class this week. Faith is not dependent on natural limitations, or life stations... faith is trusting in God to work both in our natural and His supernatural ways.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. :) Praise Him indeed.