Thank You so much dear Lord. For today's retreat, when I fasted and prayed this morning and lunchtime. Felt so tired, but You refreshed me when I was weary. I fell asleep during lunchtime, but still had 15 minutes to pray. and what a difference it made.

And how You encouraged and advised and corrected me in various ways today. Like that Bible verse Prov 23:7 i saw not once, but TWICE. and the book I'm reading now: "Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them."

And esp for Peter. :) How he cheered me up during shepping today, when i was still feeling v mel (sorry shep to be so moody many times... but you have lifted up my spirit many, many times :))

And what he shared with me:
"How are you going to make sense of all these?"

And after thinking thru, wow, I realised... after 5 years liao of NUS life and this Adults CG... i noticed that all the CGs You've placed me in are the quiet kind. Difficult, even.

And with Peter's guidance, I realised that You have been putting me right smack into circumstances where I really have to learn to relate with people outside my relational zone. How, when I was in the NUS East unit, I kept longing to make a Journey To The West. ;) I sound so much like Sun Wukong haha.

What Peter learnt in his Team Captain Course: "Don't see problems as obstacles; see them as OPPORTUNITIES!"

And his encouragement too: That God really wants to PROSPER me in every area of my life, including my relationships. That's why He's been constantly putting me into situations where I really have to stretch myself out of my usual cultural and social zones. How He has placed me smack right into the middle of very 'cheena' brothers and sisters. Wow. Daddy is doing all this, because He has plans to PROSPER me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

Wow... after 5 long years, now I see the full story (i think!). Because I just happened to look at my Decus Caliper personality profile after shepping. By nature, my sociability index and ego strength (something like self-esteem) is very, very low. (Though God has been good to me nevertheless - He's given me a very high empathy index too. :)) So now I see how God has been stretching me all these years to become much more sociable than i would be. And how He used me to touch lives, even though I feel utterly unworthy and inadequate at times.

Lives like Ruey Fong. Hee. Can't stop thinking about this dear bro. :) But oh no. I've not been praying for him... :( Lord, take care of him over there and help him keep on growing in his walk with You! all the days of his life! In JEsus name amen! :)

That which I am not, He makes me have,
And that which I have, He makes me give.

Like how He gave me the gift of encouragement, even though by nature I'm someone so easily discouraged. God is so so so good indeed! :D Amen and hallelujah!

Hee. So in a nutshell... actually, it's not about being sociable really. It's simply about becoming more outward-looking. As Peter pointed out to me, I can be not even too inward-looking... I'm being OVERLY inwards-looking.

So Lord, help me grow up in being more outward-looking. That's one thing that I believe You really, really want to transform me in, to show Your glory! :D Because Your Word has already and clearly promised, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation - the old has gone, the new has come!"

And I mustn't ever forget that beautiful truth! Amen! :D