Whoa! :D Just want to thank God for His encouragement just now...

'Cos, if you read my earlier blog entry about faithfulness, or more precisely, my lack of it, you'll know that I was feeling very discouraged about breaking through in this area, because of my long, long, long record... ever since primary school I've been like that.

So, while in office just now, I had prayed to God for mercy and forgiveness, and a second chance again... no, yet another chance, even though the damage has been done (and God knows how bad it's been) and my "credit history" is a grade F.... (and that doesn't stand for Faithfulness)...

However, on the way back, I still felt very troubled and discouraged, and every time I thought of repenting, this (mental) voice came to me, saying, "It's too late... the damage has been done... so it's no use repenting... you can't change..."

Then suddenly, this verse... shone like a light in the darkness. Like Gandalf's brilliant light at the Battle of Helm's Deep. This is the verse:

Galatians 2:18
"If I rebuild what I destroyed, I prove that I am a lawbreaker."

The reason this verse really turned my discouragement 180 degrees around is:
I am afraid of repenting, because the moment I start cleaning up my act, and turning over a new leaf, it simply shows to those who had corrected me that I indeed have been an extremely unreliable and untrustworthy person.

But, this verse very simply spoke to me (it must have been the Holy Spirit):

"So what? Your rebuilding what you've destroyed (the damage that you did to people's trust and His name) simply confirms the obvious truth that others have already been pointing out to you so many times. And so what if you're a lawbreaker? I have already forgiven you! I see all your past sins, and I declare you... dead! FOR THROUGH THE LAW YOU DIED TO THE LAW, SO THAT YOU MIGHT LIVE FOR GOD.

So take heart, Yeu Ann and rebuild what you have already destroyed! Don't be ashamed, because you no longer live, but Christ lives in you."

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"

Thank You so much Lord... just to know that You loved me and gave Yourself for me... that really assures my heart like nothing else in this world can. And that gives me the courage to get up and repent, to pick up the pieces and move on.

That You loved me, and gave Yourself up for me... My God, that is more than enough for me. That... really gives me hope. So help me, Lord Jesus, I repent of my laziness, my sluggard attitude... because of You.

And thank You, Lord Jesus, for that verse that came so timely, and dispelled that discouraging voice of darkness - must have been the devil. =) Wow, reminds me of how You defeated the devil with three portions of Scripture.

Hee! Now my heart's singing praises to Him... =) Am more strengthened now to face tomorrow's work. Hallelujah!