Today a dear bro gave me some feedback over breakfast. That feedback was that I tend to get frustrated very, very easily, and have a tendency to whine/complain. He said that I need to control my expressions of frustration, and/or not get frustrated in the first place.

To be honest, I had a hard time accepting that, because I felt my complaints were not really complaints. How could it be that I would be complaining over the littlest things?

But God has a great sense of humour. I went and ordered two buns, one chicken bun and one red bean bun. But the staff got my order wrong, and instead of my red bean bun, I got a char siew bun.

When I bit into the bun, I saw its true contents, and at once, started exclaiming, "Wah! I ordered one red bean bun, but they gave me char siew instead... argh!"

Then it dawned upon me. I was already complaining so fast! My friend looked calmly at me and nodded his head, as if to say, "Yup, I rest my case."

Went back home and thought about it, and yes, it's so true. As I was praying, asking God to help me change in this area, a lot of memories came back to mind. It was as if the Holy Spirit was showing me in "instant-replay-mode" all the cases where my frustration affected other people, and specific examples of my frustration coming into full play.

And I realised something about my character. I lack determination. The moment I face a problem or obstacle, I immediately become very frustrated and start complaining. Or as my brother put it (tenderly), "You lack steel."

And this bro pointed out to me that I have even been complaining and whining during caregroup events, etc... or more precisely, sulking. He asked me, "How would your visitors feel? Would they want to come back again?"

And more to the point, he continued, "What if you're surrounded by many people all joking and laughing, and you can't understand their language/their joke?"

Ahh, I see. :P

Then God followed it up with a beautiful verse (that I want to make it my verse for 2008):

Philippians 2:14-15
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..."

At this junction, I know it's critical for me to repent of this sin ASAP, because a complaining spirit, in God's eyes, is not pleasing to Him at all. And according to the Bible, it's, to be frank, filthy speech in His eyes. Was He not angry with the Israelites who complained in the desert? And did not their bodies fall in the desert?

I remember there's this sermon last year that the pastor gave on Colossians 3:8... "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." What is filthy language? I thought it was the "F"-word... but it turns out that true filthy language, in God's eyes, is actually negative, complaining, pessimistic, hateful, obscene, ungrateful, hurtful speech. That is true filth in His eyes.

*sober thought*
I now think about how much I've lost because of my complaining spirit... back in NUS ministry... and... *never mind*
YA, let's forget what lies behind, and thank Him for His mercy and grace. And move on to the new things He's called you to. That He gives me another chance to start anew.

Isaiah 1:18
"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Thank God for friends who are very positive and have a constant spirit of thanksgiving. If you have friends like these, treasure them like you would guard a ton of gold, for they are worth much more than that.

So, dear friend, if you see me start complaining about something, being sulky and negative/pessimistic, help correct me. As for me, haha, no question about what's my New Year's resolution going to be!

To be joyful always,
pray continually,
give thanks to God in ALL circumstances...
no matter how difficult.

I want to breakthrough in a merry spirit, a joyful countenance, and a thankful heart! :D Hee! THANK GOD SO MUCH... hahaha... now I realise what He's been trying to tell me all these years... It is really true that in all things He works for our good! Hallelujah!

Thank God so much for this dear friend's timely feedback!