Close Friendships Are Not Enough

It is not enough to have close friendships. Rather, these friendships must help draw you closer to God.

Consider on what is the foundation of your close friendships. Is it common interests? Shared experiences? Shared vision, even? Or ... is it Jesus Christ? A common love for our Saviour?

Let us not mistake cement for concrete. Both are essential to building a strong house, but the foundation is necessarily more important than the cement.

If you're feeling envious of people who have so many, many close friends... then think of whether the friends you have - be they near or far - have helped you become more godly, more mature, wiser, more Christ-like. If you really want to be more Christ-like, that is.

Consider carefully the reason why you like this person or that person as your friend. Is it because he/she makes you feel good? Because he/she can do a lot of things? Or is it because he/she has the right spirit? One who can be trusted, lives a righteous and godly life, walks in wisdom?

I was talking a few years ago with a dear bro (let's call him R). R is a very intelligent and capable bro, who received an award from NUS and on top of that, is very charismatic, sporty and dynamic. So there I was, affirming him (I think it was for his birthday), when suddenly he looked at me and exclaimed, "Yeu Ann, what you said really touched me."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because a lot of people affirm me for what I can do, but you affirm me for the spirit behind what I do."

R's words touched me very much, not because I made him feel good... but because I saw in this bro a wise heart. More than that, what he said showed that he values the heart behind the actions. (Not to say that he doesn't value action - on the contrary, he is someone who believes strongly in walking the talk, and living our lives to the maximum possible - especially if you are a Christian.)

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Consider carefully what are the treasures, the values that you hold so dear in your heart. Because you will end up being drawn most to the people who share your values. For where your treasure is, there your heart is too.