Gosh. Been really tired the past few days. Kept on sleeping and sleeping the whole day. Thank God for the 2 days MC I got. But gee, the flu was really bad. Was lying in bed resting, when the movie "Letters from God" came to mind. About the sick boy who cared for others and also wrote letters to God. :) So at the end of yesterday, I tried to get onto my knees to pray, and to be honest, it wasn't easy because I kept on coughing and was so tired.

Told God that I felt rather empty actually, just lying there. Wondering what I could do. :) So tried to message some Bible verses to encourage. But fell asleep again. So tired I couldn't even send an SMS.

Pondered. I wonder what it would feel like to be all alone, lying there sick, days without end? How would I respond? Self-pity or do whatever I can do to bless others?

Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

So prayed that I could have that same kind of attitude too. To be more gracious and caring.

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You know, dear friends, I think it's not easy to take a rest at times, actually. In a culture where we emphasize on being productive. On being fruitful. But being sick for three days reminded me how utterly dependent I am on God even to pray. Think about that!

Personally, being sick and weak forced me to confront my fears face-on. The fear of being alone, and the fear of being weak. So I prayed, "Help me Lord."

Interestingly enough, my maid happened to be playing this Christian song on the radio while she was working. "And now let the weak say that I am strong... Let the poor say that I am rich... Because of what the Lord has done for us... Give thanks... give thanks..."

Gave thanks to Him for His goodness, that I'm still alive. :) And for the various blessings. Thank God too that I still had a healthy appetite, and somehow could taste my food. For friends and family. Especially my mum who took care of me. Grateful.

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To be honest, I also feel spiritually weak recently. Think I've been too distracted in heart and mind. Many things. Hopes and dreams, fears and failures. Want to reconnect with God again, to draw closer to Him again. I guess for me, I really do find His voice kind of farther away now. Oh dear. Was rushing through my quiet time passages too. Sigh. Sing, O my soul, sing once again, for surely the Lord has been good to thee.

:)