Now i know one thing that makes me feel discouraged and fearful in sharing. I think I'm not good in sharing with others - I wish I was like some other people who can share so pinpoint what they think and feel, and what they've learnt.

Instead, I have to write such long stuff and rambling some more, that people get lost. I mean, well, it's something that bugs me. Why do I take so long to share? Why am I so long-winded? Why can't I be short and to the point? Why the hell do I need so many words?!

Ha. Just feeling a bit sad about it. Hey, let's get up and learn from it ok? But yah, I don't like that feeling of failure every time.

In any case, I really do love to use a lot of words. But others don't like words. So I struggle to be myself, because I think being myself does hinder me from being effective in communicating clearly with others, especially when it's about God's goodness. :( So it doesn't extend the kingdom of God. Just feeling discouraged again.