Thursday, June 12, 2008

More Thanksgiving for the Church Camp :D

Slowly, as I read the awesome flood of thanksgivings fill up Ps Jeff's blog, I recount all the little sweet things that God has lavishly peppered...

Gosh! It's more than just fun... it's... a serious time for me actually. 'cos I experienced quite a lot of frustrations along the way. E.g. coordinating... doing things like getting a table first before getting dinner first... (yes, you'd think this way... but I got it done the reverse way.)

But I'm thankful! 'cos when shared that with Huaqiang about the frustrations of coordinating, he said, "I've been through the same thing as you... now you can understand how I feel too." :D Ah I see! :)

And one of the sweetest memories I have is that when Peter and I prayed together during the extended P&W, Peter's prayer request was that he will grow to become a stronger and better friend to me. That prayer request brought tears to my eyes...

And personally, it's a time of breakthrough for me. Learning to be more serving... I observed Shuhui, and whoa, I realised how serving she is, making tea and coffee for us so often. And that inspired me to follow her example as she follows Christ's example. At first it wasn't easy... my heart kept on grumbling inside, "It's stupid... it's not ME... why am I doing this... can't the others appreciate other things about me... etc..." But persevering on, I felt the self-centredness in my heart starting to die away. Sorta like an ugly tumor that gets melted away...

And thankful to God too that my CG graciously accepted my acts of service, bumbling tho it was. Hee. Thank God for their grace and acceptance. :)

Dying to self really isn't easy to do. But it's so rewarding.

Oh yes! Thank God also for the time with Ps Lawrence! It was great getting to know him better... whoa, when he shared that he's not really a people-person by nature, I felt very touched that he went the extra mile to get to know us better. And it was great getting to know him and his wife better, about how he came into Hope and started serving more and more... hahah...

Aiyah! we should have taken photos with him.

Actually, after digesting the entire church camp thingy, I remember the spirit impartation from Ps Jeff (the one about unity in CG). One thing that I have started applying already is to have a positive spirit... LOL! thank God for Zhenzhong's affirmation and encouraging words: "Hey Yeu Ann, thanks for having such a positive spirit." Haha... it motivates me to go even more! Tks ZZ... your words really make a great impact, brother!



And the altar call for becoming a CL. I responded... I know I've responded quite a few times before... but I guess this time it's different. I told God that I know I cannot make it as a CL... and I'm not much actually... but if He pleases, I'm available... willing to let Him bend and break and shatter me... it's going to be incredibly painful for me, 'cos i know how self-absorbed and self-centred I am, and how unloving i am as a person. There is still so much of me that hasn't died yet... but yeah, that is a conscious decision of surrender to God. if He pleases, let Him do whatever He wants with me...

Even if He doesn't choose me, it's fine... I rmb I used to want to be a leader, 'cos tt made me feel important, that I finally have worth and value. But after God broke my spirit in 2005... hee, finally learnt that my worth and identity is not in what I do or can do, but simply because God made me and loves me.
Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing you've done
Can make Him close the door


Oh yes. In a way... I'm technically supposed to be a CL... to a group of little tots. Haha! But while my carnal mind will say, what, only a group of tots, I know the Lord commands me not to look down on any of these little ones, for they are precious to Him. To care for the least of these little ones of His is to care for Him himself.

Lots of thoughts about it...

But YES! THE CAMP WAS AWESOME! :D HAHAHA... I'm so looking forward to the next one!

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