Joie de vivre

Just came back from a good time of fellowship with Edmund, Zhiyong, Tracy and Shuhui. Actually, we were meeting up to discuss the unit bash event coming up next month, but we also chatted and shared...

Just really want to thank God for all the joy of serving Him. I realised that I felt a certain kind of delight, just seeing how He'd changed me in so many ways... that I can now be more assured, more confident in interacting with others... an increased sense of situational awareness... increased sensitivity, increased love, increased care and concern for others... increase in maturity in more and more areas of my life...

Shared about all these delights that I was feeling to God while walking back home. And also was thinking - ah! I'm taking delight in all these things that I think I'm becoming... but is it pride here? Yet, to be honest, I don't think it's pride, especially because I can see that all these things that I'm growing in are not my normal strengths, but I take delight in them, because I see how You have been working in my life over all these years. Of how You have been steadily working, shaping and transforming my life... my heart... my mind... my soul... my strength...

So I suddenly exclaimed to You, "I... I ... Lord, help me but I really do feel very thankful, very happy... I praise You because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made - Your works are wonderful, I know that full well!"

And while praying, I also confessed to You the subtle pride that I had during the meeting, the times that I found myself saying things in a better way... and of course, You know how pride can so easily creep into my heart here and there. Like how yesterday, one of my colleagues had commented positively on the merits of a technical idea that I had brought up last week. And You know how I took credit for that instead of looking for a way to give glory to You, to thank You... or even to affirm my colleague instead. And that was my pride there and there again.

But thank You for being so merciful to me, Lord. That You reminded me with this verse from Proverbs: "The furnace for gold, the crucible for silver, but man is tested by the praise that he receives."

But yeah! It struck me that in serving You... the more enthusiastically, the more excitedly, the more energetically we start serving You, we'll discover one thing about this:

That we get to see more of our selves, both the beautiful and the ugly sides.

The beautiful side, because as we go through more opportunities to serve You and Your people, and also to struggle through, the more "muscles" we'll see on ourselves, and the more we see our Christlike characters starting to form and take shape.

The ugly side, because You'll expose more and more of our dark sides, the damage wrought by sin in our souls... we'll see more and more of our sinful nature being exposed, that lie we never thought we'd tell, that hurtful word we thought we'd never say, that subtle touch we thought we'd never do, that prideful air we thought we'd never put on...

All exposed in the light, as we come out more and more into the unfailing light of Your holiness.

Ephesians 5:12-14
For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

But yeah! It's that transformation process, the morphing, that is so beautiful.

A picture came to mind:
Like Michaelangelo shaping his statue of David from an ordinary chunk of marble, so You too shape our souls into the likeness of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

From this...

... to this! :)

Like a sculptor, You use all our experiences in ministry to chip and shape, whittle and chisel, and sheen and shine our souls.

So just feel very glad to see how You are working in our lives.

Tee hee!

Oh! Just want to say thank You too for Psalm 139. I had taken out my Bible and read it while walking back home, 'cos was thinking about what I had said, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."

And just read it through. Yah! It's such a joy seeing how as we run the race You've called us to run, we see how our old flesh melts away in the light, and the new shimmering muscles and sinews that You transform our lowly bodies into. To see how our old ways of thinking - of insecurity, of jealously, of pettiness, of malice... and so on - all become changed into the mind of Christ.

A mind that thinks lovely thoughts of others, seeks to understand, to love, heal and forgive, thoughts of truth and mercy, thoughts of righteousness and justice... thoughts of what is noble, thoughts of purity and loveliness, admirable and excellent thoughts indeed.

Psalm 139
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to ^[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

And King David, who wrote this psalm, knew that even as he was beautifully and tenderly made by God, knew that he was still a work-in-progress. And so he prayed this conclusion:

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

So was thinking about King David. My NIV study Bible describes him as a man who really lived life all the way for his God - both in his triumphs and failures. And God called him a man after His own heart.

I want to live fully for You, Lord. Never being afraid to step out of the boat, even if it means walking on water - as long as I can take one step nearer to You, my God. Never being afraid to throw myself fully into serving You, even if it means that more of my weaknesses will be tested. And never being afraid to throw myself fully into the church, the fellowship - even if it means that more of my fallenness will be exposed.

For You have come that we may have life, and have it overflowing. Joie de vivre.

I want You more than gold or silver
Only You can satisfy
You alone are the real Joy-giver
And the apple of my eye

Because You are Lord, my God...

:D