I guess this is a raw post. But I'm feeling another round of sadness again.

Psalm 142:4
"Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life."

Lord, remind me, what is the point of doing good to others if they don't care what happens to me?

If I died, would they notice? Would anyone care, actually?

Is it any use to do good to others?

*Deep breath*

Ah. I remember my CG shared about me during the farewell. And I know Elvis initiated the meetup. That means I'm not unappreciated.

It is hard for a man to voice out his fears I guess.

Oh God, hold me tight when I am insecure, and mock those who mock me, I pray. Vindicate me, O Lord, and help me live a blameless life before You. To those who would look down on me and think lesser of me... pay them back in full for whatever they do. Let me not put my trust in men, but put my trust in You alone. Defend me, Father!