Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Relationships That Honour



Last Saturday, my CG got to see something very sweet - Huaqiang proposed to Sarah! :D He had told us about his plan to propose to Sarah the day before... so on Saturday Sharon, Shawn, me, Peter, Zhenzhong and Kim Chun went down, together with Guofeng as the videoman...



And it was so romantic! HQ went to meet Sarah at Fuji Ice Palace - and Sarah was skating with her sheep... and she had no idea about HQ's plan to propose to her. So, at 545pm plus, HQ brought Sarah to the middle of the rink, and there he gave Sarah a big bouquet of flowers, and knelt down before her, proposing to her with the most elegant ring you've ever saw. And of course, our Sarah joyfully accepted the flowers, and our two lovebirds hugged... Oh my God... it was so romantic! The entire - I kid you not - the entire crowd in the rink gathered around the two lovers and thunderously applauded!

Wow... we couldn't help cheering for joy, along with the rest of the crowd!

Sarah's own words:
"HQ proposed to me last Sat in the ice-skating ring. Very surprised and touched by the proposal. Touched by the preparation effort, his courage (it was beyond him to propose in the public) and the support and blessings of my frds and my sis. I really thank God for all him and my dear friends and my sis!"

And as we were laughing and congratulating the lovely couple, I was thinking about an observation I shared with WZ the night before.

I was telling him about something that I had observed in Song of Songs in the Bible...
1 Solomon's Song of Songs.

Beloved
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.

3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the maidens love you!

4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Friends
We rejoice and delight in you;
we will praise your love more than wine.


And so on...

As the Lover and the Beloved sing songs to one another, dancing and all that, making the most passionate Bollywood song-and-dance look absolutely repressed... I note the Friends joining in too.

Whoa! Why do the Friends keep popping up in the book, chorusing and chorusing? Think it's because friends play a very important role in a romantic relationship. Today's modern idea of a relationship is a dating relationship, where the guy looks for an opportunity to spend one-on-one time as much as possible with the girl... and if you're in a dating relationship, you basically say goodbye to your friends as long as the relationship lasts.

But from what I understand, that isn't a healthy way of growing a deep and strong romantic relationship. Frankly, the best and healthiest romantic relationships are those that have the support - not only the man and the woman - but also the support and encouragement and help of mutual friends.

There's a beautiful saying - I'm not sure if it's a German saying - that goes: "Sorrow shared is sorrow halved, and joy shared is joy multiplied." So it goes with a beautiful romantic relationship, especially in the Church. Because when Christ calls us to live in community, He also intended even our romantic relationships to be grounded in community - not to restrict us, but to give our relationships even greater expression of joy and depth. How beautiful it is when friends and family rejoice over two lovers who have pledged mutual commitment and undying devotion to one another for all their days, till death do them part or the Lord Himself returns!

Think the group of Friends in Song of Songs show us how to play the role of supporters to help our two friends' relationship grow in love and devotion.

As friends, we rejoice together with the couple...
Friends
"We rejoice and delight in you;
we will praise your love more than wine."


We help bring them together...
Friends
"If you do not know, most beautiful of women,
follow the tracks of the sheep
and graze your young goats
by the tents of the shepherds."


We give them time to be alone with one another...
Friends
"Eat, O friends, and drink;
drink your fill, O lovers."


We help them examine why they are attracted to one another...
Friends
"How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you charge us so?"


We affirm the woman, and support her as she seeks to be with her man...
Friends
"Where has your lover gone,
most beautiful of women?
Which way did your lover turn,
that we may look for him with you?"


We affirm the man, and encourage him to lead his woman...
Friends
"Who is this that appears like the dawn,
fair as the moon, bright as the sun,
majestic as the stars in procession?"


We delight in them as they prepare for marriage...
Friends
"Come back, come back, O Shulammite;
come back, come back, that we may gaze on you!"


We encourage them when they go through dry times together...
Friends
"Who is this coming up from the desert
leaning on her lover?"


And we protect and hold the couple accountable, that they may stay pure...
Friends
"We have a young sister,
and her breasts are not yet grown.
What shall we do for our sister
for the day she is spoken for?

If she is a wall,
we will build towers of silver on her.
If she is a door,
we will enclose her with panels of cedar."


Wow... I realised, both from the Bible and from observation, that in a relationship of love, friends play a very important and wonderful role in helping that relationship reach its maximum potential.

Hee hee! And today I was talking with another brother... I had this urge to ask him about this sister that he likes... and it turns out a lot of other friends in church have also asked him about this sister... wow! Felt so much joy when I saw how this friendship is growing, and I'm especially inspired by this dear brother's heart to want to wait for God's timing and permission...

It spoke a lot to me. I have observed with my own eyes relationships that went ahead too fast... relationships that went without God's permission... relationships where everything seems ok - except that it's just so... human-based, and God is missing from the relationship. (This happens even for some Christian relationships...) It makes me feel kind of sad, and there is only human happiness. Nothing wrong with human happiness... but it is just so limited... it is a case of choosing the good rather than the better, and choosing the better instead of the best.

And I have seen other relationships that waited for God's timing and go-ahead... and you can sense how great the joy is, when the couple comes together... especially with people like Wee Leng and Wanphing, David and Pui See, Emma and Gerald, Huaqiang and Sarah, Julian and Serene... and even some budding relationships that I see happening right now in my sub-district. These relationships have that extra glow of divine beauty, divine happiness... no such joy so sweet as those that God Himself has brought together!

So that reflection makes me really want God's special blessings in my future relationship... one thing I really desire in my future relationship is one that will bring honour to God and bring joy to all those around me and my future wife. :D I want our Father's beaming smile to be upon us as He bring the two of us together and blesses us - "Therefore, what God has brought together, let man not divide apart."

Hee... still am praying to God for His guidance... and I really want to thank God for my brothers, especially WZ, Peter and Robert, who have spoken into my life... the most valuable counsel that they have given me is this: "WAIT." :)

And thank God especially for WZ's prayer for me for patience and prudence. How I really need and thank God for that prayer WZ prayed for me... because the Lord knows I'm weak, really weak here. As He said, "Pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I really do want to honour God in all my relationships, especially in my BGR, and to trust Him for His perfect timing. I can't see what's ahead even for tomorrow, but "God has made everything beautiful for its own time."

And now, looking back at the past two years... I'm very thankful to God for His opening my eyes. And He's been showing me great and wonderful things... I can barely hope... oh! I need to trust His big heart in all this, and not lean on my own understanding!

Amen!~ :D We do serve a beautiful Lord, a wonderful Saviour! :D Thank You dear Lord for relationships, especially friendships!

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