Lord have mercy...

I think God just helped me discover something. Actually, I stumbled upon another bro's blog. But then, I think He prompted me not to look any further, but I disobeyed. Then, I sat back and realised the consequences of what I had done. Felt dismayed, asked His forgiveness. I realised again how I really need to be more sensitive to His Holy Spirit. Right now, I'm feeling really dry on the inside again, and quite detached from Him. I do hear His voice, but it's so distant. I can't hear Him clearly amidst the background "noise" of my life.

As the deer pants for streams of waters,
so my soul thirst for you.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go meet with Him again?

But touched by this song, right now... I think He's guiding me step by step. And I'm reminded next, what Ps Jeff said about Psalm 119 saying that Your Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. It's really dim, and there isn't much light to see by in this fallen world - we are fallen creatures in a fallen world in a fallen universe - thrice-fallen. But He came, that we may see.

Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness
Opened my eyes let me see...

Now listening to this wonderful song by Michael Smith - "Step by Step"... these lyrics are playing in my ears even as I write:

"Step by step You're leading me
And I will follow You all of my days..."

But, I wonder, is He speaking to me through these lyrics? Or is it just coincidence? But with God, there are no coincidences. But again then, is it of God?

I don't know, Lord... help me hear Your voice better... Holy Spirit, have more of me!

I'm not very clear-minded at this moment. But in any case, to wrap up what I'm writing, I think He wants me to understand this brother's heart - because he really does love Jesus sincerely with all his heart, even though he feels disappointed over many things. I'm humbled by this brother - realised that I've been looking at him through my own eyes, instead of Christ's eyes of love.

So was thinking of writing him a small card of encouragement, to tell him how I've been blessed by him, and not just so, how God has helped change my perspective of him, to learn to appreciate him much more than the first day I met him.

I think I should do it... I don't know about the outcome, but I know he does care, even if it's not very clear to me. And more so, our Daddy in heaven cares for him, far far far more than anyone else can ever care.

Dear Lord, please give me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. In Jesus' name, I pray amen.

Lord have mercy
Fall on me...