Monday, November 27, 2006

The Joy Journal - Day 3: Let us fix our eyes on Jesus...

Just got back my term paper - wow, praise God, the extremely tough term paper that I did on mass media and the Government - my tutor said that it was a well-done essay. Praise God for His wonderful MERCY, and thank God for Huanyan, Guoxiong and Edwin who gave me invaluable guidance. Not forgetting Jitsy's vetting too.

(But, Jits... really, I don't care whether a sentence starts or ends with a "but"!) ;)

Hmm... just got back the marks for two other modules - Culture Industries and Game Development.

Thank God again, I did quite well overall for my CA in Culture Industries... but when I read my CA marks for Game Development, my heart sank.

Actually, I feel very afraid, even though I've done my best most of the time... because level 4 programming is very tough, and a lot of marks have been allocated to the labs.

Honestly, I'm afraid that I could fail this Game Development module. That would mean that I have to stay back ONE more semester. Oh Lord, I don't want to. It would be a terrible testimony for You.

But I need to remember that God is here with me, even in this storm where I really could sink and drown. Just like what Calyn encouraged me today, and what I read in my QT today... that He is here with me. He comes walking on the water... and at first I don't recognise Him. I think Him to be a ghost, and I cry out in fear. But I hear His voice booming in the storm, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

And I remember that sometimes, the very thing in a crisis that causes us to start panicking and losing control, could actually turn out to be Jesus Himself coming into the picture.

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Have prayed just now. Forced myself to be still and turn my eyes upon Jesus. And I know that my dear Saviour wants me to depend on Him totally. This precious verse from 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 comes to me:

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

Yes... If He can raise the dead, He can raise my grades too! :) (Since my CS4213 grades are good as dead. ;)) Haha... sorry, bad joke.

Am praying in the Spirit even now as I write this. Somehow, I feel calmer and more peaceful now. It's a peace, and I believe, an assurance that He will deliver me - and enable me to clear this final semester well. Because I really have done all I can do... now, the rest is up to God. Honestly, honestly... this is my faith in Jesus despite my shaky feelings. Because I really do want to please God, even if I do have to stay back one more semester.

Yup... now going off to read my Bible. Don't know what is going to happen next, but THANK GOD FOR THIS VERSE:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.


*******
In any case, there are so many things to thank God for - and they are not "trivial" blessings - they are BIG blessings... hee hee... like how I messaged my sister to wish her happy birthday and God bless - somehow my heart towards her has changed for the better since last year... and she said thanks. :)

And how I'm getting to know more friends... and Zhiwei's been a real joy and blessing to me, messaging me to find out how's my revision coming along. I think ah, he's showing me more care and concern than I have been doing for him! Wow... he really is a blessing from God! (Not to mention his hilarious jokes about Orcs and nukes and candies - all in one conversation.)

How sweet the grace of God... that transforms lives like his!

And the time spent with my dear brothers and sisters...

And the time being enriched in mind and enjoying my studies...

And the time of discovering further His purpose and plans for me...

So many joys, so many blessings...

What can we give
That You have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already Yours?

All we possess
Are these lives we're living
And that's what we give to you, Lord...

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