Every Step of the Way

Read this just now from a friend's blog: "Amazed that we can talk to Him every moment of our lives, every step of the way."

I remember my trekking back to YIH from PGP just now - 'cos I had a superheavy bag with me (packed full of all those stupid readings haha). Silent, because of my burden that I was dragging along, and also about the things that were on my mind - hopes, dreams, ideas, plans, desires, etc.

Felt that I should take this opportunity to pray as I walked in the night, so prayed in the Spirit, because I didn't know what else to pray - my mind was feeling quite blank. Then my thoughts started drifting away again to other things. (It's pretty hard to pray in the Spirit when you're panting for breath too. :P)

And this thought somehow came to mind that during this trek back, God wants to speak to me through this experience. To remember all the good things that He has done for me. Walked on, and on, through the night. And as I walked the familiar old route, I recounted moments spent with friends along this particular stretch of road, and memories came back. Mused how so many things can happen to me in one year, and how God is able to make even someone like me grow in just the space of one year.

Then walked underneath the overhead bridge, and I remembered something sweet. That, half a year ago, I had been sharing with Him my despair and struggles as I had walked along that old route... that very moment, I was reassured that He heard my prayer that night so long ago... and He never forgets.

"Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
for you will answer me."
(Psalm 86:6-7)

He has heard and answered my prayer in such a wonderful way! :D I was fearful that in the last semester of this NUS ministry, I would be, in a way, kind of "useless" as an old "dinosaur"... as an "obsolete" worker... but He reminded me that He can use anyone He wants to use... He richly blesses all who call upon Him for help...

"And it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered." (Joel 2:32)

I'm just a broken jar of clay, but He loves to use broken pieces, broken lives...

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts broken lives
He will take them all...

These words really touch my heart a lot:

I believe You'll always lead me
All my days have been ordained
All Your thoughts toward me are holy,
full of love and grace

And that He is thinking of us at this very moment, even when we are struggling with heavy loads and burdens every step of the way.

He is encouraging us on, cheering us on, reminding us that He is carrying us in His hands even as we stumble along.

He is leading us even now. Leading us to the top of the mountain, from where we can stand and look back, and see how far He has brought us thus far.

Tis' grace that hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home...

So somehow I'm reminded that He wants me to learn from this experience, that He always thinks of me, even when I'm not thinking of Him.