Just a lot of things on my mind, Lord. Feel quite uncertain and tempted to be worried. Feel very inadequate too. But I will recall Your promises to me, Your grace and Your faithfulness. Yes, I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.

I will remember all the b-e-a-u-tiful things You have done for me, yes! I remember what You spoke to me in the past years, how You have shown Yourself so real to me, and how You have spoken and guided Your people of the past. You are the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.

Lord, remember my prayer that I've been praying everyday. I'm still waiting... eagerly waiting... Lord, I want to draw closer to You. I want to have a life of meaning, a life of love, a life of purpose. I really do want all these things, but I must remember always, and forever, to keep my desire for You central. Because it's in Your presence alone that I am transformed, and no other way.

Thanks, Daddy... for loving someone so unworthy like me. I'm so shocked everyday, by the Man on the Cross.

"Daddy, why must He die?"

"My child, YOU are why He must die."

I'll walk closer now on the higher way
Through the darkest night will You hold my hand
Jesus guide my way

I know I'm so unworthy - even my humblest tears of repentance must be washed clean in the blood of the Lamb... I know, who am I? And why am I so like that?

You have called me... yet I'm so stubborn...
You have promised... yet I'm so insecure...
You have taught me... yet I'm so slow to learn...

And why do I write all these? God, You know my motives aren't even pure yet here... sorry, Lord. Please clean my heart - it's full of crap.

Yet I'll look up to Your sheer goodness, because You are so good.

Yet there's still a lot of things on my mind.

Through the darkest night will You hold my hand
Jesus guide my way...

Can't think clearly now, but thanks a doz, Lord, today's Planetshakers concert was great! Thanks Daddy, for Joyce, for buying the tickets for us. Was very blessed! Also learnt quite a bit from the MM style that they used... and oh yes, thanks Daddy too for the cheesy MTV-style fonts that I found while randomly surfing - it's perfect if I ever need to do some MTV-style MM clips... haha praise God!

Today was a very stretched day for my voice. Sore throat, but thank God, managed to help lead my OG in cheering and encouraging them on. It struck me today that God has put me in this position as a FOW Councillor to make a difference, and now it's in my hands to see what I can make of it.

Realised that the FOW committee came up with some games that was, well, stretching it on the decency side. :) Was kinda uncertain what to do - as an OGL, I'm expected to cheer everyone on, but on the other hand, I don't really find it very tasteful - not only me, hor, I think some of the freshies were a bit put-off.

Then remembered what Bowen told me about Jason's advice: "Make a stand - but make it a win-win stand." So tried my best to apply this advice... hmm, I went ahead and cheered for them, since I guess they're really paiseh about it, so support them, not the game, but the ppl who are being saboh-ed. But when they asked me to go up and play too, I told them, "Hey! I will go up for anything... as long as it doesn't involve touching a girl!" Haha... thank God for the courage and conviction that He gave me... somehow it came out so naturally, they just accepted it as normal. =) But there's still so much more I could have given for God in the past few days I realised. Hmm... well, thank God for this experience! To all my bros n sisters still in NUS... if you got time, I encourage you to try out being OGLs... make a difference, be the salt and light in the midst of a FOW... and show 'em what REAL FUN IS ALL ABOUT!!! Show 'em how we do CHEERING! Make 'em smile! Yeah!

(Really! I mean it - I realise that the church really can do much better orientation camps and programmes than the campus ones... frankly, the pple in the campus orientations are very sincere about giving their best, but it really is very tough for them to produce quality FOWs for the freshies (namely, bo-chup pple, lack of creative ideas)... and as a result, the freshies get very sian and maybe cynical. So we can bring over what we've learnt from our own matric programmes and help support or even lead the OGs with what we've learnt... I know that the freshies WILL be very blessed. Really... that's the way that Jesus wants us to be - to be good, tasty SALT and brilliant LIGHT in the dark places...

Oh yeah, and your convictions and values will get tested too. haha... but good what... still, do check with your leaders to see if it's ok to go ahead first.)

Think this is a very small preview of what it might be like in the working world... think it will be tougher, yeah, but one thing I've learnt from this FOW experience is to excel in what's good (for example, whether I'm an OGL or a freshie, I should cheer the rest on like there's no tomorrow), and be innocent of what's not good (touching a girl inappropriately, even if everyone else says it's "fun"). Still thinking about Jason's advice to "make it a win-win stand" - to do my best to see that as many people as possible can win from the current situation that I'm in.

How to translate it into the working world... hmm... I'm thinking of Ruey Fong's example of being excellent in his work... my shepherd's hard work in the office... to be excellent workers who do well in the working world... I'm reminded of Jacob and Joseph in the Bible too - excellent workers too. Wah, I look at myself and I know that I REALLY fall short in this area of excellence. My own HYP supervisor told me that I need to do more. And I agree... I know that I'm not maximising the potential that God has given me. Well, this sem I want to push my best for Jesus in all these areas: studies, family, ministry and care for my finances, personal things and health. Hmm...

Yeah! Keep my eyes upon You, Daddy... I want to expect great things from You, to attempt great things for You! In Jesus' name, aMeN!

Of Procrastination...

Procrastination - something that I think Daddy's convicting me very strongly of in the past few days. I really struggle with procrastination. I know I should do what I promised to do, but I never really get around to doing it. Why? Think one thing that keeps me from moving on is the fear of difficulties, of being tired and of not seeing results the way I want them to be.

But I think You spoke to me through a particular experience today and something that someone said, and also my own conscience, and well, the Bible. The final Word on everything, aMeN.

"How long will you lie there, you sluggard?"
"Lazy hands make a man poor,
but diligent hands bring wealth."

I need to remember what Peter told me about overcoming struggles... "Pray to God. He will help you." (Haha, my shepherd's words are short but wise.)

The experience today... my ex-supervisor was telling me, in a nutshell, that what I've been doing is right (thank God!), but he can only write so much in my testimonial what things I've achieved. It's fair - if I have done much, he'll have lots to write; if I have done little, he'll have little to write. His heart there, I know, is not to pick on me - no way! - but to find as much opportunities to reward me for what I have done.

And it made me think about what Jesus said: "Behold! I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done."

It made me think and reflect back on what I have actually done for God. In a way, it's dangerous to think about this, because it can make one fall into despair, that I've done so little, I'm useless, haven't achieved anything.

Yet, there is the sober realisation that Jesus, who is coming back, will one day ask me, "Yeo Yeu Ann, what have you accomplished with what I have given you?" And He'll be looking to see what He can reward me for.

It's NOT to earn my salvation - never! for He bought my salvation already, but He wants to reward everyone as much as possible, and He is JUST. At the end of my life, there'll be no more bargaining chips, no more time - the deadline is up, the pen is put down, the exam is over.

And yet, there is the other side of the coin to consider. What if I, desiring to do great things for God, go off on the wrong tangent, and get burnt-out? or waste my energies? or get tired and give up?

Then, am thinking, the key to a really fruitful life, one that really bears fruit pleasing to the Lord, is: Obedience.

Obedience to His directions, obedience to His will and obedience to His commands.

Come to think of it, I mean, God has a ton of work for me to do. I should seek Him and ask Him what work does He want to give me? And He'll give me the work that He wants me to do at the right time.

Yet, there's also the heart to just want to do something for Jesus out of sheer gratitude. I think, at the end of it all, Jesus sees the heart... no matter what we've done. I remember the sinful woman who washed Jesus' feet with her perfume. I remember what a dear brother, Shunrong, said to me: "God will forgive me as I try to serve Him." I remember what WZ told me about "The right heart with the wrong actions is better than the wrong heart with the right actions."

I'm still trying to put the pieces together. I'm so thankful to God that He's making clearer and clearer to me His calling for me, and purpose and direction... yet I'm also feeling quite scared actually. The challenges are also becoming clearer and clearer. God, give me strength, peace and most of all, love for You, Jesus, I pray.

Well! Time to stop procrastinating: I'm going to sleep now. Night, Daddy, and help me remember that in the end, this blog must be for an audience of one: YOU! and that is all that really matters.

Love,
YA

Warriors or Wimps? Raising Bold Sons

Think this is something relevant for children's ministry... :) Touches my heart personally, because I remember struggling with timidity a lot as a boy.

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From http://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/1413803.html

Warriors or Wimps? Raising Bold Sons
Vicki Courtney
Author, Your Boy

"And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (Thess. 5:14).

When Ryan was in kindergarten at a private Christian school, the headmaster would take the time to train the boys on the mechanics of a proper greeting. If he approached Ryan, he would extend his hand and say, "Well, hello Mr. Courtney. How are you today?" If Ryan looked down at the ground (like the average five-year-old), the headmaster would patiently and gently tell Ryan to extend his hand, look him directly in the eye, shake his hand firmly, and with confidence say, "Fine, thank you." When Ryan would do so, he would say, "Atta boy, Ryan -- good firm handshake." It was a great example to me and proof that boys as young as five can learn to greet adults respectfully.

Keith and I continued to enforce this school rule of etiquette in our home, and to this day our boys are generally at ease when greeting and conversing with adults. Had we not remained vigilant in training our boys in basic communication etiquette, they probably would be like the many boys who stare at the ground and grunt disrespectfully when adults speak to them. While I realize that many boys may be justifiably "bashful," this does not mean we should allow it to be an excuse to respond to others with silence.

Ryan was my bashful child, and we had to work with him to overcome it. I recall a time when we came to a standoff over his bashfulness. He was about ten years old, and I had told him we could rent a particular movie he had wanted to see. When we pulled up in front of the video rental store, I told him that I would wait in the car while he went in to ask if they had the movie in stock. He begged and pleaded for me to go in and would not budge from the car. I stood firm and told him, "Ryan, you have to learn to take care of things like this. This person behind the counter does not even know you. You have nothing to lose." Finally, he gave up, faced his fear, and went into the store.

I realized that because of his bashfulness, I had grown accustomed to communicating for him over the years, and now it had become an expectation on his part. I had effectively prevented him from learning necessary communication skills that were vital to his future. It was now or never. From that day forward, if he was looking for a particular item to buy with his allowance, I would have him take the initiative to call stores and find out the basic information. He was hesitant at first, but if he wanted the item badly enough, he would eventually break down and call. Today you would never know that Ryan ever had a bashful/shy side to him. Had we not recognized his bashful tendencies early on and made a concentrated effort to help him overcome them, I doubt he would have had the skills to go out and find his first summer job this past year.

If timidity is allowed and even cultivated in our sons' lives, it can breed a spiritual timidity over the years. If our sons are allowed to shy away from uncertainties, what will keep them from shying away from matters that require faith?

Do you recall the story of Gideon sending out his messengers to summon the warriors for a battle to deliver the Israelites from the hands of the Midianites? In order to make sure that there is no question that the Israelites would be delivered by the hand of God, Gideon is told by God to pare down his force of warriors so they will have fewer men than the Midianites when they go into battle. To make the first cut of men, God tells Gideon this in Judges 7:3: "Therefore, tell the people, 'Whoever is timid or afraid may leave and go home.' Twenty-two thousand of them went home, leaving only ten thousand who were willing to fight" (NLT).

No doubt, it would take a great amount of faith for the warriors to believe that they would prevail in the end, especially with fewer men. If your son were of fighting age, would he be among the remaining ten thousand who were willing to fight, or would he be among the twenty-two thousand who wimped out and went home? Without intervention by parents or others, timid boys almost always grow up to be timid men. Warriors have no reason to be timid and afraid; they know whom they serve.

It is my belief that our culture has hijacked many of the components of biblical manhood. They have blurred the lines of what defines a man, leaving our boys and men confused and suffering from an identity crisis of sorts. Many men have abandoned their roles as providers, protectors, and spiritual leaders. Families are falling apart, marriages are in shambles, and gender roles have been redefined. The fallout is great, and today we are experiencing a shortage of real men. If our sons are to be real men, we must first help them cultivate the warrior spirit within. We must prepare them for the battlefields of life and groom them to be warriors, not wimps.

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Excerpted from Your Boy: Raising a Godly Son in an Ungodly World (Broadman & Holman Publishers). Copyright © 2006 by Vicki Courtney. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

"Aiyah, don't talk like that lah!"

Thank God for Bowen! Heard from him today that he took a cab to his grandma's house to collect some money for his driving lesson because I had forgotten to return him his NETS card. So I offered to pay for his cab fare, since it was my fault, but he told me, "Aiyah, don't talk like that lah! I'm your brother - what are mistakes for?"

Really thank God for this very dear brother... he taught me what true family means... really so proud of him!

YouthInk: "Let's talk about TEEN SEX"

Read some articles in the Straits Times (Mon, Aug 7), and am thinking of writing something to add to what they said. Do feel free to let me know what you think - all correction and feedback are warmly welcomed!

With regards to the recent articles under "Let's talk about Teen Sex" in YouthInk (Mon, Aug 7), while the writers have raised very good points regarding how to curb "a high number of teen pregnancies and cases of sexually transmitted diseases", I would just like to highlight another critical aspect of why teen sex (and for that matter, premarital sex in general) poses painful problems for the parties involved.

For the reason is that we people are not just physical animals - we are emotional and social creatures too. As the psychiatrist, Erik Erikson, in his Eight Stages of Development theory, has highlighted, the teenage years (13 to 20 years) are the phase in which a person acquires and establishes a clear sense of self-identity, and sexual identity too - manhood or womanhood. Premarital sex (especially teen sex) has the effect of disrupting the normal development of healthy relationships, socially and emotionally.

In addition, teen sex lacks the security, intimacy and mutual commitment of a married relationship. Firstly, it runs the high risk of making the guy trivalise the girl's feelings in his eyes, making her nothing to him but an object of physical pleasure. Secondly, it's shortchanging teenage girls, who have sex because they seek intimacy, but the very nature of teen sex is such that they will not be able to find the emotional security and intimacy that they so want.

In his classic book, "The Friendship Factor", Alan Loy McGinnis relates a tragic story about a brilliant student who committed suicide because his girlfriend had sex with his best friend. Even though he was in one of the top universities, and a highly liberal one too, who was a believer in "safe sex" - in the end, when he heard that his girlfriend was not only having sex with him, but also with his best friend too - in spite of his "liberal" principles, he could not take the pain and shot himself dead. And another true-life story was that there was this man who had multiple sex-partners before he finally married. He was unable to enjoy the time with his wife every time they had sex, because whenever he saw his wife's face, the faces of all the women that he had sex with before would spring to mind.

So, I think we have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture when it comes to teen sex. It's not just about not getting pregnant or sick; it's about helping the young people wait till marriage to really and fully enjoy the goodness of sex. Like a juicy fruit, sex is best enjoyed at the ripe time.

"People, who need people / Are the luckiest people in the world..."

Was a very fun day today. :) Helped out as a "Councillor" for my OG (Pharos oh-lei-ah-ah!), and got to know quite a few freshmen. It's been fun bonding closer with my fellow OGLs, and working together to help the freshies feel welcome... and at home with one another too (not easy when we've got 4 cliques in our own OG).

Anyway, today was especially memorable, because after 4 years, I went down for the annual Freshmen Inauguration Ceremony (FIC) at University Cultural Centre (UCC). Brought back memories of my own FIC. We got a nice folder each - same type as the one I got in 2004.

This year's FIC was much more dramatic and livelier than that of '04. Imagine, when Prof Shih, the NUS Pressie, presented the various Hall heads to the students, the students from their halls would stand up and wildly applaud... screaming and what-not. Prof Shih really looked very amused. And who'd imagine that the Dean of Dentistry would receive such rapturous applause? Very interesting! (Well, our own Dean of SoC got a little bit too... haha... not that we don't appreciate him, but we're a quieter bunch, us geeks. It's more uber that way. ;))

Found some of the songs during FIC very touching. I especially like this song - "People" - it really spoke to me about the value of relationships - to treasure the friendships - not only in church, but also in NUS - that I've made. Thank God for friends like Si Seng, Selwyn, Indra, Cuong, Zhenfeng, Vincent and countless other people too that God has blessed me with in these 4 years in NUS... and that's not including my precious brothers and sisters...

People
"People,
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world
We're children, needing other children
And yet letting a grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside
Acting more like children than children

Lovers are very special people
They're the luckiest people in the world
With one person one very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were half now you're whole
No more hunger and thirst

But first be a person who needs people
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world
With one person one very special person
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who needs people
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world..."

This song reminded me of how much Christ has changed my perspective towards people since I asked Him into my heart 8 years ago. 'Cos I'm introverted by nature, and would prefer to stay all day in a library and read... but yeah, ever since He touched my heart... through the love and lives of my brothers and sisters, my shepherds and leaders... I've come to realise that yes, I really can't live alone by myself - "It is not good for the man to be alone..." - I need people. Forget the idea of the individualistic, self-sufficient and self-made man - it simply doesn't work that way - no more than a hand or head or leg can be self-sufficient on its own.

And that's why I love the final part:

But first be a person who needs people
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world...

What did God teach me today?

Saw this article, and it made me ponder. It's a good question to ask myself. No, make that a Very Important Question.

'Cos was reminded of Huanyan's entry where he pondered about how we tend to take God and people for granted.

Hmm.

Random Musings and Thanksgivings and HopeKids

God, I'm tired of wasting my time surfing net and reading online comics. I just don't feel good doing it... hmph... want to make better use of my time. *yawn* Tired.

Shuyi mentioned about having a Thanksgiving Night. Hmm! Shall try it this week... =) Always so much to thank God for. =)

Tomorrow I've got Freshman Orientation Week. Thank God! So glad I can help out as an OGL after four years. I remember making a very dear friend and brother, Cuong, from Vietnam during my own FOW. Always treasure the time that I spend with him, and how we encourage one another with testimonies of how God has been good to us. It's such a sheer joy, just to think about it - that we are brothers in Christ, regardless of race, language or nationality. And it never fails to warm my heart when I see him faithfully serving God on campus with the Navigators, even when he's now working.

Just like what Jason told me before, "Spirit is thicker than blood."

Miss Weizhu and Ruey Fong. RF had work today, so had to delay our meetup. Always treasure this brother so much - he's really a gift from God to me in my life. And WZ'll be coming back on 17 Aug from his reservist. Yay... can continue to work together with him on the Christmas MM.

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Now thinking about HopeKids. Keep wanting to blog about it... well, here goes!

Today I woke up late for HopeKids. Took cab down, and whispering a short prayer under my breath to ask God to bless the kids, I rushed out of the lift... right into a gaggle of kids being escorted to the loo.

Whee... it started sooner than I thot. Anyway God's timing is perfect - one of the sisters was trying to get the boys to the loo - you know how it is with small boys - and she was Very Glad To See Me. So yours truly got toilet duty.

And toilet duty was... smelly. When I stepped into the toilet, I saw that someone had barfed into the leftmost sink. (BTW it's 5th level male toilet in Cuppage Plaza... so now you know which sink not to touch...) The sink was totally clogged up, and almost full of water, which had some brown smelly stuff floating in it... well, you get the idea.

So I shooed the lil' uns out of the loo and we jaunted up to the 6th level merrily. One of the little boys clambered on his own onto the top of the sink, and helped hold down the push-tap for the other boys to wash their hands. So thoughtful! :D

After that, we had a time of praise and worship. It's really not easy to take part in the P&W, especially when you have the little ones pulling at your hands, smiling and trying to tickle you and play with you. Ever try explaining to a 4 years old boy what it means to worship God while he happily tries to play boxing with you, and a little (hyperactive) girl is hanging onto your back? Haha... and did I mention that at the same time, the rest of the class is singing and you have to do the hand actions too?

Whee... I just want to laugh at the whole ridiculousness of this... it's so funny! Think our Heavenly Daddy musta been laughing a lot today. =) Bless His big heart!

Story-time was quite tiring, and to be honest, not very exciting to listen to. :P But think the teacher teaching it really gave it her best - my guess is that she's new to this story-telling thing... One of the little boys, Eugene, kept trying to climb onto my lap and I had to keep trying to get him to sit down, when another boy - I think it was Matthias or Matthew or Matthiaion or Malathion, whatever his name was - cutely played with my collar, and curiously asking me what was that thing in my left ear (it's my hearing-aid, BTW). Then the little girl chose that very moment to grab my collar, laughing merrily as she fell to the ground (almost choking me in the process). Save me, O God, for these kids have come up to my neck...

Then we had colouring session. It was a good time with them, as we coloured the pictures. Some of the boys are really artistiic. I read that someone came up with this multiple-intelligences theory, where different people have different kinds of intelligences, such as Spatial Intelligence, Interpersonal Intelligence and the like. Hmm, God really bless different people with different talents. We have a wonderful diversity of talents!

Thank God He answered my prayer to know the boys' names too. On their worksheets, they had all scrawled their names, so I got the opportunity to read their names. Seems that we have a lot of apostles and prophets here in HopeKids. ;)

Carried a few kids today. They really enjoy it - especially when I called it "flying", upon which they started vigorously flapping their arms. So sweet!

*******
On a more introspective note, I got to understand the children better. I realised that there's this boy who keeps on trying to get my attention, and asking me whether what he did is ok... somehow I get the feeling that he's quite insecure and needs a lot of attention. So glad that I can give him some of the attention that he needs... every child is precious to God.

And I saw a darker side to the children - in the class, there's this lone Indian boy who was quite quiet and was quite shy about joining the other children. I encouraged him to join in with the other boys in the activities. But I still sense that he's quite alone - one of the other boys wasn't very friendly towards him, turning away from him. I think I'll need to correct that boy if I catch him again, so that he'll understand.

Children can be cute, but they can be cruel too, especially towards those who are different from them - whether it be skin colour, behaviour, fashion, ideas or beliefs. I think it comes naturally to us all - we're all born sinners. Still, thank God that being in HopeKids, it's a great opportunity to teach the younger ones to love one another, regardless of who they are or what they look like - just like what our Kor-Kor (Big Brother) Jesus taught us - "A new command I give you: Love one another."

After the HopeTots session, I chatted with sis Yung, asking her for her advice on some questions I had, such as how do I stop the kids climbing all over me? Yung helped me understand the reason why one of the boys, in particular, keeps on climbing onto grown-ups' laps, even when we tell him not to. It's because he's from a single-parent family, so he lacks a big-brother/father figure... so yup, that's why he wants to sit on my lap.

Her explanation was a revelation to me, because that day, it helped me understand the children much better. Deep down, underneath all their laughter, playfulness and screaming, is this age-old need to be loved, just as they are. No wonder our Lord Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

And she explained also why both the boys (and especially girls) can't always keep sitting on my lap - it's for their safety, because they can't just go and sit on anyone's lap anyhow or anytime! So something I learnt here was that we also need to teach the children what is socially appropriate, and what is not.

So I need to get some sweets (ah, marshmallows would be a good idea) next Sunday, and to be stricter with them, to lay down the law too. Reward the good, rebuke the bad.

Wow, thank God for the awesome privilege of being able to serve in HopeKids... it makes me feel so... awed, just to think of the awesome responsibility that a father will have in taking care of his child, to teach him/her what is right and wrong - more than that - teach them to love God and to look up to Him when they feel lonely, because no grown-up can be with them always, but only their Daddy in heaven can be with them always.

Shared a lot with Peter about these thoughts when I met him later. The importance of setting the right formative habits, to take care of my own stuff, so that it's more natural, easier for me to take care of others' stuff too. And my own desire to be a good father in future. He smiled and told me, "Take your time." - in other words, don't rush... trust God's timing as you continue walking with Him.

To sum it all up, can glimpse how God is using all my past experiences, including my struggle with being socially aware, and childhood experiences and having a caring father - all wonderfully weaved into this marvellous plan, to be working with and teaching children... Really thank the Father of fathers so much - it's totally beyond what I could have ever imagined for my life that night when I asked Jesus to come into my life.

"For I know I was born, for such a time as this..."

Thank You for being so faithful to me always, Daddy dearest. Thank You for Your teaching me how to become a better father in future. Like what You said in Ephesians 3:14-15, "For this reason, I kneel before the Father, from whom all fatherhood in heaven and on earth derives its name..." Really so amazed by You, Father.

The Role of Media in Culture

Read "The Young Man in the Mirror" by Patrick Morley today.

One of the points about the 4 universal purposes of a man is "to tend the culture"... Think it's mentioned in Genesis or somewhere that speaks abt being a blessing to the nations.

Then read this verse "The wicked freely strut about when what is vile is honoured among men."

Imagine gangsters and mafia-dons and triad bosses strutting about...
imagine rapists, molesters and murders...
imagine cunning politicians who seek only their own benefits
imagine irresponsible fathers and husbands..

when we honour these kinds of character traits by glorifying them in media as the 'anti-heroes'...

when we dishonour those who "gave their lives that this nation may live..." by not mentioning them...

when we dishonour the soldier who died to protect the innocent civilians...
when we dishonour the policeman who took a bullet to the head...
when we dishonour the politician of integrity who refused to accept a bribe...
when we dishonour the father who deliberately takes a lower-paying job in order to spend time with his family...
when we dishonour the celebrity who chooses to live rightly... and even when he stumbles, he confesses and asks for forgiveness from the very ones that he hurt...

true, not everything is black and white... they say that one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist...

but when we dishonour good government by discontented grumbling and complaining...
(though pointing out what government needs to be accountable for, yes, i believe that's one responsibility of the media...)

just some thots.

Maybe that's why I love Jack Neo's movies... the triumph of the underdogs... the empathy of the sufferers...
"Liang Po Po", "Money No Enough", "I Not Stupid 1 and 2"

:) want to watch Helen haha... i love foxes haha... :) anything that looks doggy, I lurrrvvvveee... hahaha... =)

*******
That's why I love stories. Like the author who wrote "The Young Man in the Mirror" said, "Stories are what holds cultures together. They serve as the glue, the ligaments."

And he goes on to say, "They aim to provide a system, a plausible world-view to hold all our experiences together, to help us make sense of the world's experiences that we have."

A few days ago, Jitsy, Bowen and I were in the cab, taking a ride back home. And we ended up talking (excitedly) about CS Lewis' Narnia series. Bo said, "I really love to read Narnia again and again..."

Same here! Haha...

But why are CS Lewis' books so enchanting? I could read Narnia again and again (well, I have), and again and again I am transported back into the world of the Pevensie siblings like never before. I feel Aslan's mane and the breath of his voice as he encourages them, and I feel the sense of hopelessness and fear as I witness King Trillian fight the Last Battle...

I've read Enid Blyton's books (ha, flights of fancies, I really do love reading them...) and James Herriot's enthralling books about the animals...

But as I grow older, the books that I remember more and more fondly "I am David" (Anne Holmes), "The Six Bad Boys" (Enid Blyton), "The Big Friendly Giant" (Roald Dahl), "The Chronicles of Narnia" (CS Lewis)...

Why ah? Maybe, to go back to the point that I was talking about, these stories do not do away with the problem of pain. They don't dimiss the reality of the sufferings; on the contrary, they face the full brunt of it.

But the key difference between these and other stories that one might read would be that they have a message:

"Suffering is real, pain is real. But it is possible to face them fully, AND go through them fully AND overcome fully."

I think this is one message that we'll need to give to our children, and their children in the days to come.

Help keep the Brown Elephant’s natural habitat alive!

Haha... thought it's quite funny! =)

"I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way..."

Wow, thank God so much.

Some recent experiences thru which God helped me see my need to change certain ways that I behave... plus a Bible verse... plus a book... plus shepherding today... plus this article that I saw just now. God is ALWAYS faithful!

This passage in particular really strikes me:
"Our behavior is important. People see us in many situations at many different times, and the way we act can be a powerful witness to the power of Christ in our lives. Christ calls us to a perfection that we cannot achieve on our own. Rely upon the Lord and He will give you the capacity to live an upright, holy, and pleasing life."

Yes Lord, I really need Your help. You know that I'm very socially inept and inconsiderate, but I know that You are the One who gives wisdom to the wise... so as I keep praying to You and meditating on Your wise advice from the Bible, I know You'll transform me, for You have never forsaken those who truly seek You. In Jesus' most precious name, Amen.

Psalm 101:2
I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.

Gwen couldn't help remembering how her grandmother used to tell her to, "Act like a perfect little lady." She had hated to have her grandmother constantly nagging at her to sit properly, speak properly, walk, chew, and sneeze properly. However, the lessons she had been taught had stayed with her, and they had helped her many times. She had gotten the job at the gallery because they had been impressed by her manner and poise. Perhaps she wasn't a "perfect little lady," but she made a good showing, nonetheless.

Our behavior is important. People see us in many situations at many different times, and the way we act can be a powerful witness to the power of Christ in our lives. Christ calls us to a perfection that we cannot achieve on our own. Rely upon the Lord and He will give you the capacity to live an upright, holy, and pleasing life.

Thank You Jesus! :D Thanksgiving!

And oh yes, Lord... now that my depression's over, and the courage's set in...

Thank You so much for Shuyi's "countless thanksgiving" blog entry - it really spoke to me and reminded me to be joyful always, and give thanks in all circumstances... not to let my joy in Christ be swayed by what other people think of me, but You alone... Her example has inspired me to also give thanks to God in this entry!

Thank You so much for KW, the lunch-time with him today, and what he shared with me - it really really spoke to me a lot too - realised that You may be speaking to me through this brother... esp what he said, "You are not equal to the sum of your past. Rather, your past is part of who you are." Wow, simple but profound. And his own heartfelt sharing about how You have been transforming his life and mindset and perspective... he's really so much more joyful ever since last year... wow, praise Jesus indeed!!! He is so wonderful!!! Hallelujah!!! And thank You that he would share his life with me... like what Weizhu told me last time, "it's a privilege when someone chooses to share his life with you..." And also for the gentle correction that KW gave me over lunch... wow... so loved that he would correct me...

And thank You so much for my dear CG... especially for Hongtao, Bowen and Joyce... they really blessed my day today. I feel so unworthy when I compare myself with them - their hearts and their lives, I have so much to learn from them. But thank You Jesus for putting them into my life, that I may learn from them!!! :D It is a great joy and privilege to learn from their lives...

And thank You so much for the sweet supper that we had today after the Festival of Praise... haha... though I was quite tired and self-absorbed actually, I still can thank You for Your goodness even though I've been bad in my attitude... You are always so good, God! :D

And thank You so much for Bowen - for his accompanying me to walk down for the altar call to respond to the call to be mighty warriors for God... and for how You spoke to both our hearts - we were both burdened before the FOP, and we both wanted to respond to the same altar call... and also for his lunch invitation today... sorry Bo, I choped KW first so cannot liao... :P

And thank You so much for the little things too...

Thank You so much that I fixed the hardware problem that I was helping Dr Ng with... in the space of an hour! Wow... thank You for giving me a clear insight into the workings of the problem...

And thank You so much for the orientation today too... that I got to make new friends... though I was disappointed that almost all the freshmen for my OG didn't come, I'm glad that I can get to know my junior OGLs and group IC better too... it was great talking with them! Really enjoyed the time getting to know them better... think it's a breakthrough especially for an introvert like me. :D

Thank You so much that I could spend some time with Huanyan just before the start of FOP... missed this bro's presence for quite a while already... and also for his friend too - am encouraged and delighted to get to know a new brother in Christ too!

Thank You so much for Don Moen... wah, so blessed really... can see that he's very humble and has a sweet spirit to God even though he's one of the most famous worship leaders of this generation... and his voice is fantastic too... haha...

Thank You so much for helping me wake up in the morning... the beautiful sunshine...

Thank You so much for Your love that knows no bound...

Thank You so much for this computer...

Thank You so much for giving me friends and family...

Thank You so much, Jesus!

Thank You so much, Lord... I really want to have a sweet spirit before You always... because I know that will please You no end...

Thank You so much Lord, by faith, for the direction that You are carrying me through...


and OH YES! HOW CAN I FORGET?

THANK YOU FOR HEALING MY EARS! Haha... Aiyah... i really am like those 9 'bodoh' ex-lepers who, upon being healed by Jesus, didn't go back and thank Him... Wah lau... thank You for being so incredibly patient with me... in spite of the fact that I am SO SLOW...

THANK YOU... thank You Lord for lowering the threshold of my hearing from 110dB to 90dB... somehow it's sweet, being able to sense that the music is too loud... to be able to sense the pain in my ears before it can do too much damage to my ears...

I don't know why my hearing isn't fully healed yet, but You chose to remove the earwax blockage in such a miraculous way that the doctor would be so amazed... and the hearing-aid specialist amazed at how come my threshold of hearing has dropped...

Wow... when I think of all these things... how can I not thank You? Thank You that I have enough money - so blessed from my lab duty - to bless others... thank You that I can help others...

Were I to write more... I'll have to say thank You Lord till the sun rises...

And oh, thank You, Lord, for Don Moen's "Thank You Lord" song... haha... =D

Thank You Jesus! :D A mighty warrior... wow!

Thank You so much for today... for listening to my prayers!

So very touched... I really want to cry.

You know that I've been feeling depressed lately, burdened and afraid.

So it was with a burdened heart that I went down to the Festival of Praise today.

Burdened, but when I saw the beautiful sunset, I remembered the psalmist saying, "When I consider the heavens, and the works of Your hands... what is man, that You are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"

Prayed to You, eagerly desiring you... that brings back a memory of the journey down to the Indoor Stadium with Joyce. Thank You for showing me Hebrews 11:6, "... that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.", which I glanced at in Joyce's book! Thank You for Joyce, who blessed me a lot with her cheerful smile and conversion story - I was very encouraged!

Yes, You are the One who sees me - my Beer Lahai Roi...

And You know my dryness in the past 2 days - that I was seeking You, but I was so tired, and I longed to hear from You... but I didn't... but You encouraged me, You saw my heart's desire to come near to You... and You told me not to give up! You told me that You reward those who EARNESTLY SEEK YOU!

And this was Your assurance to me, during the Festival of Praise... to Seek You With All My Heart, For You Will Be Found By Me!

And I sought You... I told You my burden... and I prayed this specific prayer, asking You to give me a clear confirmation of the direction that You want for my life... and You heard it and You answered it directly!!! Made it crystal clear!

You told me that I am a MIGHTY WARRIOR! You are the One who sees me, not what I think I am, but who YOU see me to be!

And what Ed Silvoso said during the preaching:
"To the young people here, who want to make a difference for God in the areas of MEDIA, politics..."

"God is setting Singapore aside, to be the Antioch of Asia..." (and it's so clear now... Singapore, as the Antioch of Asia in such a time as this, IS GOING TO BE A MEDIA HUB VERY SOON - AND WE YOUNG WARRIORS OF GOD MUST ANSWER THE CALL TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS AREA!!!

And You addressed my very fears in stepping out into this area - me, a joker, without much qualifications or skills, but only having a dream, a desire and a prayer to make an impact in media for Jesus Christ... Mr Silvoso also said, "We can dwell on the dangers... OR WE CAN BELIEVE GOD!"

GOD! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SEES ME!

Dear Lord, to be honest, I really don't see myself as a mighty warrior at all... but You encouraged me with this verse, "Go in the strength you have... am I not sending you?"

And what Mr Silvoso also said,
"If you think there is someone better than you.. Yes, it's true! BUT YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY GOD!"

Amen! If God is for me, who can be against me?

And You've not left me alone... You've given me a dear shepherd who also shares the same vision to make a difference for Christ in the area of media... I know You are using him to disciple and train me... to teach me to think deeper and wiser...

You are the One, You are Lovely
You are the One, You are Holy
You are the One, I will worship
You are the One, Jesus....

I have a destiny
I know I shall fulfill
I have a destiny
In that City on a hill
I have a destiny
It's not an empty wish
For I know I was born
For such a time as this...

********
And Jesus, I want to pray...
You know that I still felt quite depressed after I came back.
But I'm glad for the teaching on self-acceptance that I was reading the past week.
It helped open my eyes to realise why I feel and act the way that I do in so many areas... a lot of it is due to insecurity. I know that many people have told me this before, but somehow... I don't know, maybe it's Your timing - when I read what Your Word teaches about insecurity, somehow my eyes were gradually opened... a revelation from Your Scriptures...

And somehow, just knowing and accepting the fact that I have low self-esteem and struggle with insecurity REALLY makes a big difference... what You said is true: "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

To be honest, Daddy, I struggled a lot even up to just now with this fear of this person, who keeps on rejecting me and even looking down on me... I was so angry with that person. I remembered what Yufen told me about going to You to reconcile my feelings with that person... in a way I'm thankful that it's not my fault, really... she understand that this person can be very stubborn, but the fact remains that this person is Your dear child too, my fellow sibling in Christ, for whom You shed Your own blood to save...

Still, I was so distressed, and so afraid of being rejected, and looked down upon, because You know that I really get very easily disorientated when I'm very tired... I can't think clearly and do stupid things... and this person will look down upon my lack of physical coordination... I was so angry...

But You listened patiently to my prayers... somehow I don't understand so many many things, but one thing I have learnt is that just being in Your presence through prayer really helps so much... somehow my heart is gradually put at peace... and You give me the grace to love and forgive this person... and You help me remember that I myself need grace and forgiveness too for my own sins... and You settle my inner thoughts when I pray in the Spirit, for Your Spirit intercedes for me with groans that words cannot express.

And You reminded me of this verse to fight the fear that surfaces every time I see this person... the fear of this person despising me for my lack of skills...

"The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is my stronghold;
of whom shall I be afraid??"

Because You know that in future, in the workplace, I will definitely face people who will look down on me. And You know how vulnerable I am to this kind of rejection. And You know how cruel words will really pierce through my heart like a burning knife through butter. But You gave me Your word, Your promises, Your presence as my shield against these flaming arrows!

*******
And when I look at all these experiences... I can reflect and make sense... I believe that You are in the process of training me to be a MIGHTY WARRIOR for You, Jesus King of Kings and Lord of Lords!

To be a warrior of God, with a fierce joy that remains unbattered, with a confident faith that stands the test of fire, a heart that stands safe and secure even through the fiercest bombardment, a soul that takes cover in You, the Indomitable Bunker that no nuclear missile can ever take out, a spirit that waits patiently in victory and not in defeat...

The Nature of Interactive Media - and where it's going

I originally intended this as a reply to Huanyan's comment to my "iwant2bfamous.com" entry... but it ballooned into an epic. Oh well, here goes:

********

"My take is that, depending on what type of blog you are going..."

Hmm, that's a good point you raised up. Think that was something I didn't consider in depth.

Actually, what I was introspecting about was WHY do people love to keep on checking blogs? What are some of the 'push' and 'pull' factors that relate to blogs - especially as a form of interactive media?

What you raised up was a good point - we need to take into account the various types of blogs. Different types of blogs (or for that matter, let's generalise it to media in general) have different 'pull' factors that appeal to various audiences.

Hey, this is a very interesting topic... actually, I realise that I really enjoy investigating interactive media.

**********
Which would go on to another question that I've been pondering since yesterday - what is/are the current trend/s of interactive media as we interpret it?

This question was triggered off when I was chatting with a few JC students on their way to an interactive media workshop. You can see the increasing interest and public awareness - no doubt thanks to the massive moolah poured in by our good Gahmen ;) - as witnessed by MSN, the newspapers, etc.

I remember taking this module "Design of Interactive Media". In that module, we were stuffed with tons and tons of software tutorials... good stuff, yeah... like boiled vegetables. *bleah*

So I was thinking, currently, how academia and the mass media may see "interactive" as in "interactive media" would be to see it in terms of "you see/hear it, you click it/interact with it."

But that would be, I guess, the first level of interactivity - as in interacting with a toy. For we're now seeing the 2nd level of "interactivity" as in the profligate growth of "social media" - e.g. blogs, social spaces such as Friendster and MySpace, and photo-tagging websites such as Flickr, where users can add tags and so on to their photos.

And I'll like to add in the example of "Urban Dead" by Kevan Davis (a text-based game), as an example of interactive media. For graphics, it gets zero; for playability and interactivity, it scores pretty close to ten out of ten. Maybe that's because players can make changes to the landscape, coordinate attacks, just chat or talk on in-game "radio channels", or whatever. In other words, it's a MMORPG. Heh.

But what serves as the common denominator underlinking ALL these "social media" and "MMORPGs" and the like? I think it all boils down to two factors - words and the desire to build relationships.

Let's face it - we're social creatures by nature. Nobody, even the most introverted person, can live very well (physically or mentally) without interacting with another person. And drawing on linguistics, research (e.g. the development of Nicaguaran Sign Language in the 1970s) has already proven that humans have this inbuilt innate ability (supported by various linguists such as Chomsky) to communicate using words.

So, I think this is where the actual trend of interactive media would be going towards in the next few years - not so much based on flashy multimedia or intensive graphics... but simply as various manifestations of the humble written and spoken word.

Consider SMS versus 3G, consider radio - still around for a century - and the podcast is just another form of radio. Consider the blog, consider the phone. Consider MMORPGs - people type and type... consider photo-sharing sites with user comments and tags... even videos - youtube.com is popular, because people can TYPE in comments and share... (well, it helps that it's free haha) as compared to the less-popular Google Video.

So in conclusion, I guess the next "killer application" wouldn't be some "Flash"y website, but rather, a simple nifty application that enables people to type in their thots and interact with one another more.

Ha, just some thots... correct me if I'm wrongs. ;)

CS4213

I am taking CS4213 (Game Development) this semester. My lecturer is Dr Ashraf Golam.

Haha... God sure has a funny way of working, yeah? ;)

"iwant2bfamous.com"

If you've read the Sunday Times recently, think you'll know what I mean. Just to add my ten-cents' worth... I was thinking, what use can a blog be? Why do people want to write in a blog anyway? And what makes them read and read other people's blogs?

WZ asked similar questions in his blog some time ago:

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging.

Why do I have to apologise? Haha, it must be KC's incessant hounding on my tagboard that has made me feel guilty (?) about not having blogged. Anyway, why are you all so interested in reading my blog? In fact, why the interest in reading blogs in general? Have you ever pondered about how voyeuristic blog-surfing is? I do it too - going to the blogs of my friends almost every single day, just to see if he/she has blogged...

Heh, very voyeuristic of me. (Voyeuristic... why does that word sound so nice? ;))

There are some people's blogs I really love to keep on visiting e.g. Weizhu's and Shuyi's. And other blogs that I'm rather tentative about visiting - they make me feel a bit depressed or put-off or sad. And other blogs that I visit, because they make me smile, laugh or just simply refresh me.

But why do I visit the blogs that I love to visit? Maybe it's because I find them very heartwarming - especially if what they write is something that I can identify with. Somehow, they represent an oasis of familiarity, like your favourite dishes, or your favourite TV show or teddy bear. But I think, personally, it goes beyond mere familiarity. Perhaps it's because I feel edified and encouraged after I read that person's blog.

Maybe that's why the Diary of Anne Frank, a Jewish girl who lived during the Holocaust, is such a beloved classic. Perhaps that's why Rachel's Tears, the diary of a girl who was killed in the Columbine High School massacre, can rend one's heart as one reads it. And I also think of mrbrown's blog - I really enjoy reading his blog entries, especially the ones about his autistic daughter - they're very encouraging.

So, maybe, as Longfellow put it so well, these people's written experiences are a step above the ordinary, because they have struggled with what everyone struggles with, and have overcome or are overcoming:

"We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again."

So, I'm thinking about what Peter told me before, "Even a simple blog can make a difference." And why not? In the end, I think, it's not about how many comments your blog receives (though that IS nice, haha), or even how many positive reviews you got... but I guess, the more wonderful thing would be, how many "forlorn and shipwrecked brothers (or sisters)" has your very own blog helped to lift up?

Then, I think that would be one blog that, in this "iwant2bfamous.com" age, will continue to endure even after its contents have long gone to the Big Bit Bucket in the Sky. :)

Depressed

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God.

browncast: eX(ns)Men 3

"Coming to a camp near you, eX(ns)Men 3!!!"

Wah, when I listened to this podcast, I almost died laughing... especially the medic's mutant powers... (really reminds me of Weizhu... hahaha)

What are Friends For?

My first time at HopeTots! :D

Haha... just really want to thank God for such a wonderful time at HopeTots on Sunday...

But well, details, details! Some snapshots...

*******
Reached at 845 am. The children started coming in. Wasn't really sure how to start talking with them, so just hung around two little boys. I commented to one of the teachers, "Wah, they very quiet leh." She said, "They'll start warming up after the games."

Well, one of them was very quiet, the other one was more boisterious. I can't remember their names haha... so I'll call the more boisterious one "Boi". :)

So, Boi was playing with some colourful plastic balls by himself. Errm! How do I relate to him? Hmm... not sure... aha! maybe I can try juggling in front of him... wah, my juggling really ... it's two balls, and it's more like tossing from one hand to another, one at a time. Lame, right? :P

But thank God, Boi was really amused and started trying to imitate me. Whee! So we started playing a bit more, and I took a basket and got him to try chucking the balls into the basket. Basket + ball = basketball, geddit? ;)

*******

And then, another little boy came up to me, and with big innocent eyes, shyly asked me:


















"Excuse me, do I call you Teacher or Daddy?"

********

Then, it was time for the ice-breakers. We introduced ourselves in a way that only 3-5yrs can appreciate... for example, if you want them to remember your name is Hannah, you shake your hands and say, "HAND-nah! Get it?"

No prizes for guessing how they got the kids to remember my name...

********
After some games, we had toilet break. So I was tasked to bring nine little boys to the toilet. How we got them to go to the loo in a reasonably civilised manner was like this: "Boys/Girls, put your hands on the person in front of you...."

One of the little boys looked up at me and said, "'Cher...", and pointed at the boy behind him.

"Yes?"

"He holding my shoulder too tight."

********
Praise and worship was very energetic, enthusiastic and exhilarating!







And very exhausting.

I didn't know that these little kids could keep jumping and jumping!!! (Maybe it has something to do with momentum = mass * velocity...)

One reason why it's so physically exhausting is that these songs are action songs, and not just your normal action songs... they are FULL-body action songs. You don't just shake your hands or your legs... you have to shake your body, shake your head, and shake whatever else God gave them to shake. And I thought head-bangers were crazy...
********

Then during the Bible lesson, we roleplayed the ancient Bible characters Isaac, Jacob and Esau. During the scene where Esau went hunting for game, one of the little boys asked me:

"Esau go where?"

"Oh, he went hunting to get food."

"Oh..." Then he looked at me again and asked me,

























"So, Esau use big-big gun?"

********

And, near the end of the lesson, one of the little boys came up to me and hugged my leg to get my attention.

"Yes?"

*some indistinguishable mumuring*

"Sorry?"

*yet some more indistinguishable mumuring*

"Hah? Sorry can't hear you..."

*STILL yet some more indistinguishable mumuring*

(This kid's really patient with me.)


Then one of the sisters came up next to me and said, "I think he wants to go to the toilet."


"Oh okay..... *sudden burst of realization* Eh? TOILET???"

*scramble to bring the kid outside*

Tried to put the kid's shoes on.

"Hey, your shoes are very small... you must get a new pair..."

*more pushing and squeezing*

After a few more minutes...

Finally! That was difficult...

Then Guey Ming, one of the teachers in charge, looks down at his shoe and tells me,














"You put the left shoe on his right foot."

o_O'...







Guey Ming then adds helpfully, "Hurry up. I think he can't hold very long."

o_O'''...





After I get the shoes done correctly, the little kid runs off really really fast to the loo.






Thank God he got there in time!

*turns around*

"Hey! Don't dig your nose AFTER you've used the toilet!!!"

*******

Wow... thank God so much for this precious time with the children... it really is everything I've imagined it to be... and more!!!

Haha.. yes, the children are REALLY cute...

Yes, as Peter joked, the kids really did jump on me...

Yes, it really is such a joy working with them...

Yes, carrying them is such a wonder...

God... no wonder You love children... when the disciples tried to stop some little children from interrupting You, You ticked them off, saying, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these!"

Wow... when I had finished my first ever HopeTots2 session, I couldn't help beaming... felt like Moses after he'd met God - complete with glowing face... :)

Looking forwards to sharing life more with them!

---

PS: For more details, and if you love kids and you're in Hope Church, feel free to take a look at this: HopeKids Website

Worship in the Night

Was reading this at night. Jesus is really faithful! :D Thank God for the wonderful time of CG today, esp over dinner... the time wif Jiahao, Bo, HT and the other CG ppl...

Was feeling very sad again about an old, old sadness that I had for a long time, and I was praying to God about this again. Asked Him, "How long, God? How long?"

And just read His Word... not sure what He would want to tell me... am thinking... am I only listening to what I want to hear? Or what He wants to tell me?

I'm still quite confused again. But cannot lah... tml is the time I finally get to meet up with the children in HopeTots... excited! :) So I can't let Satan drag me down into depression and condemnation again. Use the Word of God to fend his flaming arrows of discouragement off! The shield of faith! The sword of the Spirit!

Memorise and meditate on His Word! Just like what Ps Dinah said today. I WILL keep His Word deeper and deeper in my heart! I am so much like the stupid soldier who has a beeeg machine gun with him, with tons and tons of ammo ready to use... but never bothers to even aim or fire his weapon... I memorise so many Bible verses... God has given me a good memory with words... but I'm not even using the verses that I remember so easily to actually THINK and reflect about it... to PRACTISE it...

Grrrr... I want to obey Jesus... I do... I love Him... I do... I really do love Jesus... and I'm not ashamed of Him...

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Why are You so far away from me, so far from the words of my groaning?
Oh my God, I cry out by day, but You do not answer,
By night, and am not silent.

... In You our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and You delivered them.

They cried to You and were saved;
they trusted in You and were not disappointed.

Lord, You know me much better than I do. You know that I'm starting to feel burnt-out. You know that I've been serving very hard, and that I need rest.

You know me deeply, You know everything. You know when I'm happy, You know when I'm sad. You know when I'm going to make a fool of myself, You know when I'm going to bless You... You know, You know.

You know, and You act. You act, and You heal. You heal, and You cut. You cut, and You bind up. You are, You are!

You are faithful, You are true! You are everything I need, You are everything I love, You are! You are!

You are God, and I am not. You are holy, and I'm so unholy. But You are the one who make men holy... You are! You are...

You are the Shepherd of my soul, You are the Saviour of my life. You are the Beginning and the End, You are the First and the Last.

Lord... I worship You... I worship You... let me offer up this sacrifice anew...
Lord I come to You... in brokeness and weakness...
I come to You... to the One who makes the blind see and the deaf hear...
I come to You... for I'm lost, and I need You to guide me...
For I know that a broken and contrite heart You'll not turn away...
and a broken spirit You love...



And I'm going to worship You tonight... and I'm going to worship You tomorrow...
For the night will go, and the sun will come,
And the morning come, and the mourning go...
For You turn my mourning into dancing,
You turn my sorrow into joy!

Jesus! :)

*******
And I saw this article just now... isn't He wonderful... He answers my heart's longing and prayers... I want to be with Him, to seek His face... because this life of mine, is simply never big enough for HIM.

"Ye servants of the Lord, which by night stand in the house of the Lord. The Lord that made heaven and earth bless thee out of Zion" (Ps. 134:1, 3).

Strange time for adoration, you say, to stand in God's house by night, to worship in the depth of sorrow --it is indeed an arduous thing. Yes, and therein lies the blessing; it is the test of perfect faith.

If I would know the love of my friend I must see what it can do in the winter. So with the Divine love. It is easy for me to worship in the summer sunshine when the melodies of life are in the air and the fruits of life are on the tree.

But let the song of the bird cease and the fruit of the tree fall, and will my heart still go on to sing? Will I stand in God's house by night? Will I love Him in His own night? Will I watch with Him even one hour in His Gethsemane? Will I help to bear His cross up the dolorous way? Will I stand beside Him in His dying moments with Mary and the beloved disciple? Will I be able with Nicodemus to take up the dead Christ?

Then is my worship complete and my blessing glorious. My love has come to Him in His humiliation. My faith has found Him in His lowliness. My heart has recognized His majesty through His mean disguise, and I know at last that I desire not the gift but the Giver. When I can stand in His house by night I have accepted Him for Himself alone. --George Matheson

Renew in me a sweet spirit, Lord I pray... in Jesus' most precious name, amen!

"Mine eyes turned away from me, and mine eyes turned towards Thee"

Thank You again, Daddy! :D So encouraged... (i always write that word... but well... that's exactly my feeling here... hahaha)

Was praying, and one thing that really disheartedned me was how quiet God seems. I heard that He's always longing to speak to us, but we don't take time to hear...

And I think back to the times that I know that He's REALLY spoken to me, loud and clear... and they are few in numbers.

And I asked God, "Why, Lord? Why do You so choose to speak in a whisper? Why? You know that I really can't stand people speaking in a whisper... and I really want to hear You speak LOUD and CLEAR!"

And I was so frustrated, just sitting there, facing the corner... until I ran out of words to say. Somehow I know that He was there, just listening, and remaining silent. Then this verse came to mind: "Be still, and know that I am God."

And this thought came to my mind: "My child... you have SO many things on your mind... no wonder you can't hear Me. Too many things cluttered in your mind.

My child, leave all your worries and burden and doubts at the foot of the cross, where I died for you. And just remain in My presence. Leave all your cares and concerns at the foot of the cross, and come to Me.

Come to Me, and I will show you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Come to Me, and I will tell you what you need to hear. Come to Me, and I will guide you in the path that I want you to take. Come to Me."

Wah lau... His Spirit really spoke to my spirit deep within... He knows that I've been so busy and burdened... and He loves me so. He STILL loves me, He HAS always loved me, and He ALWAYS loves me. His love NEVER fails.

*******
Somehow... I know that it's not about myself. When I asked Jesus for a specific word of encouragement or just something to speak to me, I looked around, wondering if there's any thing special or what... and I saw this Bible passage that I pinned on my shelf.

"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for Me will find it."

At first, this verse, well, was just a bunch of words. But I know that it's JESUS' very own words... so I thot, why not take a look at this verse and THINK about it? So I did... and thank God! :D this verse spoke to me after all!

Somehow I think He's impressing on my heart that I'm too preoccupied with myself, with my own struggles and my own worries and concerns... So why not just "heck care lah", throw my worries to the wind and think about JESUS' concerns instead?

It's not about my own holiness - it's about being in HIS holiness...
It's not about my own future - it's about HIS plans for this generation.
It's not even about my own life - it's about HIS heartbeat for ALL our lives.

So encouraged! And not just that again... God confirmed the thought that I had was true... He confirmed it through something that Wenjiang mentioned during today's Alpha sharing, through the Bible passage that I pinned on my wall... and the following passage from Crosswalk.com by Max Lucado:

Now witness God’s response. Does he remove them? Eliminate the burdens? No, rather than take them, he offsets them. He places an eternal weight of glory on the other side. Endless joy. Measureless peace. An eternity of him. Watch what happens as he sets eternity on your scale.

Everything changes! The burdens lift. The heavy becomes light when weighed against eternity. If life is “just a moment,” can’t we endure any challenge for a moment?

We can be sick for just a moment.

We can be lonely for just a moment.

We can be persecuted for just a moment.

We can struggle for just a moment.

Can’t we?

Can’t we wait for our peace? It’s not about us anyway. And it’s certainly not about now.

******
Now, on to happier things!

Wilson's testimony at Alpha!!! Hallelujah!
So encouraged! First convert to Christ for Alpha, now first witness for Christ!
Praise God!!! It's SUCH A JOY!!!

Sing hallelujah, sing hallelujah!
Sing hallelujah to Jesus our King!
Sing hallelujah, sing hallelujah!
Sing hallelujah, He's done a great thing!

And a new brother in my CG tonight!
Praise God!!! So thankful! *does a little jig*

Ok, now on to more sober things.
What Hongtao and Yufen shared, it's impt for him to grow in a stronger and deeper understanding of God.

Think also gotta show him Christ's realness and love - for God's more than an intellectual concept - He's a Person... as real - more real than this reality, actually! - as you and me... so pray that my CG will really LURRRRRRVE this bro - all the more that he's now a child of God. "Let us do good to all ppl, especially to the family of believers."

*******
Jesus! There's simply no one like Him, who went around healing people, thinking about them, having compassion on them, feeding them, discipling them... and He sent His Spirit down unto us, that we may continue the great work that He's already started! And He's together with us, fighting in the trenches, fighting in the fields, fighting on the ground, fighting in the streets and in the hills! And He will never fail! "Everyone who trust in Him will never be disappointed."

Comment on " Singapore needs to loosen up, technologically"

Read this article by Tan Hui Leng on Channelnewsasia.com...

Singapore may be keen to develop computer games and animated movies on its shores but frankly, the country is too tame for the typical digital media worker — this according to a man who should know.

Its strait-laced image could stand in the way of the Republic becoming an interactive and digital media hub, said Mr Peter Schwartz (picture), co-founder and chairman of the Global Business Network.

"The game development culture is a culture that is rather loose and wild, and Hollywood is the same," said Mr Schwartz, who was in town as a member of the Research, Innovation and Enterprise Council to discuss research and development proposals in strategic areas identified by Singapore.

He added: "If you are going to be in the business of developing entertainment media, you are going to have to deal with a fairly scruffy type of person. Singapore is not too good at dealing with scruffy people; you don't like people like that much around here.

"One of the challenges is: Are you going to be sufficiently tolerant of the kinds of creative people in these industries that often emerge in very creative societies?"...

I was thinking about this... think somehow there's this implicit idea being conveyed through this article that "bohemian types of people automatically equals extra-creative types". Creative as in the media sense.

"The game development culture is a culture that is rather loose and wild, and Hollywood is the same" ...
But to ask a question here: Is it really necessary to have a "rather loose and wild" culture in order to encourage creativity here? Creativity in the media arts and the like?

No, think the real issue here is whether we have a culture that encourages entrepreneurial-style experimentation and exploration. It doesn't matter whether you smoke pot or not - I mean, c'mon, marijuana does damage to your brain - even Ozzie Osbourne, the famous metal-rocker, has spoken out against drugs, showing people just how fried his brain has been due to drugs...

Think what Mr Schwartz, a member of Singapore's Research, Innovation and Enterprise Council, said at the end of the article is really the key to helping boost Singapore's creative industries then... he also said that Singapore is too obsessed with success to create an atmosphere conducive to experimentation and exploration.

Therefore, if we really want to see a boom in developing creative talents, the following must be done:

1. Identify the strengths and talents of each and every individual.
I think this is where the old primary school streaming system, frankly, is inadequate. It does aim to help cater to different people's specific needs - but I think it may be approaching this attempt the wrong way. Instead of trying to conform people to an external academic standard, why not see where the strengths and talents of each person lies, and develop that particular talent? One could compare it to prospecting for various resources in various mines... mining for talent, if you would call it. One looks for iron, another looks for gold, and yet another looks for oil. All very different, but all very important in their own God-given ways.

Think much encouraging progress has already been made in this area, and Singapore is advancing well in this area e.g. the Singapore Sports School, the setting up of the National Youth Council and other areas.

2. Then secondly, think the next step is to grow and develop a culture where people are not condemning, but rather, accepting of failures, and encouraging one another to stand up again and try again from another angle. This is where our country has yet to grow in this area - we, right now, are quite a "bo-chup" group of people. I know, I'm one of them too. :)

3. Then thirdly, the most important step is to reproduce talent. By reproducing talent, I don't mean physical reproduction! I mean, it isn't enough to merely develop our own talents to the maximum - we MUST pass it on and multiply our talents to others who are interested to learn more. In this way we can lay up a strong foundation for future budding media developers and designers. (I think this isn't a new fad - old Chinese gongfu masters have been doing this for ages... haha...)

So, in conclusion, the key to developing a strong and thriving creative media industry in Singapore lies NOT in having "a culture that is rather loose and wild", but rather, growing and developing a culture that is supportive and encouraging people to experiment and explore (within safe boundaries) their inner muses. And the call, for us Christians, is especially critical, when you consider the increasing numbers of young people who are playing computer games to interact with one another... the onus is on us to be salt and light in the media industry.

What Peter told me during shepping today

• There are times when we come to God with a lot of things on our minds. We're very tired and just rattle off a list of requests. And when we read the Bible, we expect to receive something groundshaking. But maybe that's not the most important thing at that time. Maybe God just wants us to sit down and simply enjoy His Word. To "[b]e still and know that I am God."
• "Live with your weaknesses. But I'm saying this not in a negative spirit, but in a positive way - live with the hope that you will not remain the same forever."
  
• Constantly cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving. 1 Thess 5:16. Because I tend to be very melancholic, esp when tired.
  

*******

A dear friend told me today, "I'm so glad to see you," and sweetly smiled. It's such a small thing, but it's something that I really treasure - warms my heart a lot. :)

No, it's not what you think it probably is... *smile* And if I told you who the person was, you'd definitely know that it's not the sweetheart type. Hahaha... but seriously, thank God for these small but sweet gifts of friendship - these are "the dust of gold, panned from memory's streams."

Make a Stand, but Make it a Win-Win Stand!

Was on the MRT back with Bowen and Yufen. We talked abt piracy and what's our response to that. I gave my opinion on it, and Yufen shared, "God sees our hearts." Quite a few things here and there, we shared.

After that, Bo and I chatted some more. He shared with me about what his shepherd had shared with him regarding taking a stand in difficult, "gray-area" situations... e.g. (to paraphrase Bo) what if your whole army platoon want to go to a sleazy bar, especially the higher-ranking ones? A few Christians just went with the rest of the group, but Bo decided to take an absolute stand, saying, "No." But it was very difficult for him, because the rest of the group were definitely very unhappy.

So Bo asked his shepherd for advice. In a nutshell, Jason said, "Take a stand, and make it a win-win situation."

I thought about this, and it's really an excellent piece of advice. Because when I enter the working world, it's really a dog-eat-dog world out there... Jesus said, "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves." I've experienced a bit of it during Army times, and I also didn't know what to do, so I just made an absolute stand. But that didn't really endear me to my colleagues, so in a way, I wasn't able to impact their lives or make closer friends as well as I could have.

*******

"Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." Wisdom. I really lack it. And I really need it - lots of it. As I walked back home from the MRT, I thought about this, and what Peter shared with me last week about media. This struck me - just how many of the most popular blogs are written by Christians? And how many of the best movies in history have been made by Christians? And about comics - how many of them?

I was thinking about the humour section in Crosswalk.com. Sorry lah, but to be honest, I think the comics there are ... just not funny. Really. So bland. And the comics that I really really love to read - they're definitely hilarious - e.g. Liberty Meadows, Monty, Sherman...

Then thought about the blogs... oh man, Xiaxue and Rockson... Rockson's one is damn hilarious one... and super-vulgar! And thought about our own blogs... my own blog, and what one of my good friends said about it - he doesn't like to read the contents - but he reads it simply because he's my friend. Yeah, he's not a Christian.

Ok, here's a lot of points, but I think the real question really is, when you take a sober look
at it, just how much impact are we Christians making in this society? In this city? On this planet? Different people have different level of impact, to be sure, but even within our own circles, are we shining?

Jesus said that we are the salt of the earth. It's a cliched statement, to be sure - but if you read it in a contemporary context, to describe a group of people as "hey! they're the salt of the earth", it somehow conjures up the imagination of a refreshing and fun group of people - the type of people that you'd really enjoy hanging out with - Christian or not.

Thought about it - being salt means that we are flavour-enhancers. I tried cooking some sausages without some salt. It was ... bland. Heh. But after that, I rubbed in some salt. Wow... it was delicious! The sausage... just tasted more sausage-y!

*******
So I'm thinking about the point on wisdom. Somehow, I'm realising, in addition to my life lacking depth, I also realise that my life really lacks wisdom. Think it was a few Divine whispers here and there... small snippets of Bible verses that came into my mind throughout the day... and I feel more and more convicted of my need to grow in wisdom.

Wisdom. It's so important... wisdom doesn't just only apply to living a right life spiritually - it also applies to my dress sense (which I'm getting terribly convicted about), the way my room is packed, the way I treat my body (going without regular sleep does weird things to my mind AND body), the way I can't squeeze the most out of my time...

The way that I relate to other people (social wisdom), the way that I plan for my future work (practical wisdom), the way that I make sense of ongoing global events...

Wisdom is so important - I mean, when God puts an entire book devoted to wisdom in His Word, I think it's definitely worth taking a look at. Wisdom transforms your facial appearance (really - it does!), wisdom transform your thinking, wisdom makes you powerful and attractive, wisdom makes you grow in depth of relationships, wisdom makes you influential and able to impact others for good purposes... and best of all, wisdom helps you share the Gospel with more and more people. "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins soul is wise."

So if I want to be a shepherd, I really need to grow in wisdom. I'm struck by the various aspects of wisdom that I see in various people, e.g. Jits for the way that she can really squeeze time, Eric for his managerial skills and stewardship, Peter for the social skills that he taught me, Shirley for her wisdom in her work life, my mum for her shrewdness (yes, it CAN BE a good thing)...

*****

I was feeling really burdened, and I decided to turn to the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 30:2-3 jumped out at me: "

2 "I am the most ignorant of men;
I do not have a man's understanding.

3 I have not learned wisdom,
nor have I knowledge of the Holy One."

So something I know that the road to starting to grow in wisdom begins with admitting that, "God, You were right all along - I really know nuts. So please teach me today..." And God smiles and says, "I will. I was waiting for you all along to ask me. Ask, and you shall receive!"

In other words, humbly getting down on my knees and depending on Jesus to give the wisdom that I so lack. Really praying to grow in wisdom starting from today. Lord, I know nuts... but You know EVERYTHING. So ... teach me, Daddy! :) In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Came back from Alpha Camp '06

Whee! :D Thank God, it was a WONDERFUL TIME!!! Hahaha... and we got 2 new brothers... in one nite!!! Praise God indeed! I'm reminded... it's Jesus who saves!!!

And last nite we had a new sister... Yanting!!! When I asked her how she felt, she grinned and said, "I'm very happy!" And when I asked her what made her want to ask Jesus into her life, she replied, "All my questions have been answered... and I decided to take a leap of faith."

Also, one of the brothers (John), when Benaiah asked him the same question, replied, "Before I met you guys, I found other Christians pushy... but you guys are different... I can see that God really is real..."

Sweet! :D Jesus is so wonderful... :D :D :D

And I told Jan n Mich abt Yanting coming to know Christ... they were amazed and said, "ReaLLy??? Because we were praying for her just now!" And Jan said, "We were upstairs praying... I heard some clapping just now. Now I know what it was for..."

Wow... praise God indeed! :D

Haha... and also thank God for the MM... haha... it was tough work... but praise God again, it's always so sweet to be able to serve Jesus... have learnt quite a few things, and experienced deeper fellowship with those I'm serving... esp Shunrong, one of the bros from NTU... very inspired by his humility and sweet serving spirit... something that I really want to capture from this brother. Also Eric, for his meticulous management and excellent stewardship... he's really one of the most detailed and faithful stewards I've met... have also learnt a lot from this brother, really learnt a lot from him too.

Yeah, fantastic time of fellowship.... and I want to write more abt the impromptu, spontaneous praise n worship time that some of us had (special thanks to Dom's excellent saxophone n his sax-y voice... LOL...;))... we were dancing... singing... jumping... God! it's so REAL... really could sense Your joy filling the place... really really really really really really really so sweet... thank God also for Qiaoping's piano playing... haha... wow... so many wonderful memories... so grateful to God for His blessing me with such a sweet n wonderful experience for my last ever matriculation camp... esp since I'll be moving on after graduation...

"Many are the wonders You have done for us, O LORD... were I to count them, they would be too many to tell!"

---

So many wonders... so many joys... so many sweet times... i was pondering during worship time, thinking abt wat my life wld have been if i hadn't asked Jesus into my life... wonder where'd I be at the age of 25 without Jesus...

and... really... my life would juz be rotten, so deprived... probably i'd be spending the whole holidays in front of the computer... just isolating myself from other people... being stuck in my own self-absorbed little world... and never experiencing the real joy of fellowship... with God and with people...

This line by W.H. Davies came into my mind...
"A poor life, this, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare."

Think it's juz being able to, at those special moments, just stand back and be amazed at what God is doing in history at this very moment in time... He is building up the Golden City... bringing more and more of us lost souls to know Him... to "stand before [Him] in wide-opened wonder, amazed at the glory of [Him]..."

And this power of heaven... is so real... coming down to bring joy and peace into the heart of every one who will ask Him into his/her life... to take that leap of faith...

Oh man... what would life be without Jesus? it'll be hell... really... there is nothing so devastating than to be without God, without a Saviour...

But, back to now... this present moment... and hey, I REALLY am living life to the full... :D really... not that He stuffs our days with extraordinary things to do (not always lah)... but rather, that He makes the ordinary into the extraordinary...

like when you were deaf your whole life, and suddenly you heard music for the first time...

like when you were blind your whole life, and suddenly you were able to see every colour, every hue and shade...

just some thoughts here. :) praying that these thots, You'll like, Daddy. :)

Open the eyes of my heart....

Hey God, just thot i'd write u something...

not sure hw to put it into words yeah.

But i just having this conviction that my life lacks depth.

I know that You're good in all Your ways, God...
I know that all Your thots twd me are lovely n full of grace...

God, I not sure where i'm going. But please hold me hands yeah? :)

---

Am thinking abt wat Peter shared wif me during shepherding. Some points that he told me:
- Values that are based on the Bible = sound thinking
- "Think abt it... how many Christian scriptwriters are there in the movie industry?"
- "I remember Ps Jeff joked during today's service that 'If you don't like a movie's script, then make your own!'"
- "Media shapes our values."
- Affluence and influence...
- Salt n light
- thinking from the bigger picture.

In a nutshell, wat he shared wif me was abt media... more than that, not being Christians who sit in our own little islands - "我跟耶稣在椰子下..."
but being globally aware... AND having the desire to make an impact for God... not bcos we want to make a name for ourselves... but bcos GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD...

Bcos Jesus Himself said clearly that we are called to be SALT n LIGHT... to impact AND influence others... to be godly preservatives n flavour-enhancers in a world that's so often decaying... not just spiritually, but also mentally... physically... even aesthetically (you ever see the quality of some of today's "artwork"/"media"? just ... dumb or worse...)... So we can make a refreshing difference... e.g. make top-class movies that touch the hearts of pple... movies tt actually show the power of Godly values in action, not just (e.g. grace - Forrest Gump, redemption - the Shawshank Redemption, courage - Saving PRivate Ryan, convictions - Chariots of Fire, integrity - A Few Good Men, commitment to duty - Spiderman 2... and the list goes on...)

PEter also added, even something as simple as a blog to influence n bless others... that's y some brothers n sisters' blogs refresh me a lot.... e.g. Weizhu's blog...

So how do I get started? Can start talking with God abt the daily news that I see... talk with Him abt the movies that I've watched... ask His opinions... learn from Him what He says, both thru His word and thru other ppl/special circumstances, etc.

And it's not abt doing what we think is right... i mean, the old adage "The road to hell is paved with good intentions..." is so true... e.g. the Nazis' intention to create a master race led to genocide... you get the idea... so it's really critical, if we want to live a life of purpose and drive, must know WHERE to go... like a surgeon who must know WHERE to cut... or he/she'll do worse damage than if never did at all...

Yup just to pen down some thots. Praying that this'll be the start of a deeper life.

"When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is You who know my way..."

I will praise His name even when I fall, for His nails said it all.

__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ said:
well, if He doesn't let u stay, He's got something better
[✖]Band of Brothers[✖] I will trust His heart... I will trust His heart... even thru the darkest nite, I will trust His heart... said:
thanks bro!
[✖]Band of Brothers[✖] I will trust His heart... I will trust His heart... even thru the darkest nite, I will trust His heart... said:
yah think He reminded me abt "in all things He works for the good of those who love Him..."
__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ says:
yea, He WORKS even tho He's way past retirement age. for the good of us who love Him.
Alleluia^^
__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ says:
k, juz being lame abt the retirement bit, but seriously, let that verse be the light that shines on the dirt track u're walking down now
__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ says:
our destiny is secure already, so we seriously hav got nothing to worry about.
__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ says:
it's natural to feel distressed or even feel like u wana cry. but look beyond the mountains of yout troubles, bro. for NOTHING.. no friggin thing can take away the good He's done for us. no friggin thing can separate us from His love.
__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ says:
His nails said it all
[✖]Band of Brothers[✖] I will trust His heart... I will trust His heart... even thru the darkest nite, I will trust His heart... says:
thanks.... bro. :) really.
__,.-`'*·dom™ ♪ says:
=)

Thank God!!! So blessed!!!

Just really want to thank my Daddy in heaven for blessing me so sweetly...

1. After helping my ma wif some stuff today, she told me, "Thanks Yeu Ann, you are REALLY a great help to me!" Wow... super-touched... and so glad that I can be a good testimony at home, not just in school or the workplace... really want to be a good son, even as i serve Jesus in church ministry... because I know it brings a BIG smile to my Daddy's heart!

2. Praise God for His abundant provisions!!! Was really trying very hard to locate additional laptops, DOTA games (i really don't want to pirate any Warcraft software), harddisks and cameras... then somehow the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask Kim Chun (at 230 am liao... ok, well, that's not so difficult haha ;)) for help... and Yufen prayed for the MM team to be able to source wat we need for the filming...

Kim Chun got almost everything we need... cameras, tripods, and most imptly DOTA! And he's free to help the Alpha MM team the WHOLE day tml... praise God for this bro! very very very encouraged to see how God can work and provide through ppl in so many ways... most of all, v encouraged by his willing spirit to come down n help us... it just blesses my heart so... :) and he's helping dabao lunch for us too! haha...

ok, well, we DO have to pay him for the lunch haha...

Praise God! from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him! all ye creatures here below...
Praise Him! all ye heavenly hosts above...
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost! aMEN!

I gotta tidy up my room...

Was looking at my room. Somehow I keep getting the feeling that I HAVE to start cleaning it up... when even I start finding it messy... well, you get the idea.

Ha... I was commenting to God just now that, "Hey, it's not messy! It's *ahem* personalized."

And 1 Cor 14:33 came to mind: "For God isn't a God of disorder but of peace."

Oh Boy. God sure has a Very Interesting sense of humour. Because my room looks like a battlefield. Get the joke?

Argh... I HAVE to get started.

Don't let your heart get side-tracked by less impt issues... keep your eyes focused on the main task, the one that Jesus gave you to do. And do it!

Touched :)

Had just woke up, groggy after World Cup - arrrhh!! Brazil lost!!! So sad... :(

But tk God for the time of fellowship... yeah!

Lots of worries when I woke up today - my worries love to rush me in the morning...

Didn't feel very prayerful, just wanted to sleep bcos I was sick. Just Sick. And Very Exhausted after so many days.

But I'm always so touched by His love - even when He doesn't seem to be very loving, yet I've learnt that His love is more real than my imagination. :)

Told Jesus that I'm sick, really dunno what to pray, etc. Told Him I got lots of things on my mind. Just grumpy, etc. etc.

Then my ma asked me to do an errand, to check out a website.

Then I happened to see this link:
"What I Have Learned From Martha:

[Doing] good is not enough, we must do what is best.
Jesus told Martha that she worries about many things, but that Mary had chosen what was better and that it could not be taken from her. God must come first in all things. We must be willing to sit at his feet each day to get direction so that we know what is best versus what is just good. And when we sit at his feet, what we learn can not be taken from us.

Then I saw this verse. It really spoke to my exact heart condition:

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
— Luke 10:41-42

Touched!

The rest of the article also spoke to me. I'm just very... touched. That He would notice even the tiniest things of my heart. I know He knows, yes... but still it just never fails to warm my heart every time Jesus sends a small word of encouragement every day my way.

I mustn't dwell anymore on this tiredness that I'm feeling. Like what Weizhu told me, "If you keep on thinking you are [tired], you WILL become more and more tired!"

"The eternal God is [my] refuge, and underneath are His everlasting arms." What a joy to be carried by Jesus.

---

Joy... oh, there was a great sermon yesterday on joy. One of the points that struck me was "Excessive reasoning". It can be one of Satan's tools to steal joy from our lives - sometimes we tend to overly complicate the simple joys of life e.g. the company of friends, beautiful weather, a great book, a hug, a smile, a lovely flower... etc. etc. This point applies to me because my mind has a habit of excessively reasoning things here and there. So I need to change this habit, to start thinking about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, ... right, ... pure... lovely... admirable... if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think abt such things... whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in [my leaders], put it into practice... and the God of peace will be with me."

ameN!

Rainbow Fire in the sky...

Oh my... isn't this beautiful indeed?

This brought to mind the passage in Genesis, where God showed Noah a rainbow after He sent a devastating flood over all the earth, as a guarantee of His promise never to flush the earth again...

I had thought abt this before... didn't the rain stop? Then how come still got rainbow?

Then hey, I see this kind of rainbow... whoa, maybe God showed Noah THIS kind of rainbow... it's incredibly, incredibly beautiful. =)

Just a thought... thank God for His rainbows.