Wednesday, February 22, 2006

"Dream no small dreams..."

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Monday, February 20, 2006

A Piece of Chalk

Read this interesting article by G.K. Chesterton... found it sweet! :)

Like this part:
And this, I think, is the mistake that people make about the old poets who lived before Wordsworth, and were supposed not to care very much about Nature because they did not describe it much.

They preferred writing about great men to writing about great hills; but they sat on the great hills to write it. The gave out much less about Nature, but they drank in, perhaps, much more. They painted the white robes of their holy virgins with the blinding snow, at which they had stared all day. . . The greenness of a thousand green leaves clustered into the live green figure of Robin Hood. The blueness of a score of forgotten skies became the blue robes of the Virgin. The inspiration went in like sunbeams and came out like Apollo.


That sounds like C.S. Lewis' style I think.


I remember one splendid morning, all blue and silver, in the summer holidays when I reluctantly tore myself away from the task of doing nothing in particular, and put on a hat of some sort and picked up a walking-stick, and put six very bright-coloured chalks in my pocket. I then went into the kitchen (which, along with the rest of the house, belonged to a very square and sensible old woman in a Sussex village), and asked the owner and occupant of the kitchen if she had any brown paper. She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose and the rationale of the existence of brown paper. She seemed to have an idea that if a person wanted brown paper he must be wanting to tie up parcels; which was the last thing I wanted to do; indeed, it is a thing which I have found to be beyond my mental capacity. Hence she dwelt very much on the varying qualities of toughness and endurance in the material. I explained to her that I only wanted to draw pictures on it, and that I did not want them to endure in the least; and that from my point of view, therefore, it was a question, not of tough consistency, but of responsive surface, a thing comparatively irrelevant in a parcel. When she understood that I wanted to draw she offered to overwhelm me with note-paper.

I then tried to explain the rather delicate logical shade, that I not only liked brown paper, but liked the quality of brownness in paper, just as I like the quality of brownness in October woods, or in beer. Brown paper represents the primal twilight of the first toil of creation, and with a bright-coloured chalk or two you can pick out points of fire in it, sparks of gold, and blood-red, and sea-green, like the first fierce stars that sprang out of divine darkness. All this I said (in an off-hand way) to the old woman; and I put the brown paper in my pocket along with the chalks, and possibly other things. I suppose every one must have reflected how primeval and how poetical are the things that one carries in one's pocket; the pocket-knife, for instance, the type of all human tools, the infant of the sword. Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about things in my pockets. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past.

With my stick and my knife, my chalks and my brown paper, I went out on to the great downs. . .

I crossed one swell of living turf after another, looking for a place to sit down and draw. Do not, for heaven's sake, imagine I was going to sketch from Nature. I was going to draw devils and seraphim, and blind old gods that men worshipped before the dawn of right, and saints in robes of angry crimson, and seas of strange green, and all the sacred or monstrous symbols that look so well in bright colours on brown paper. They are much better worth drawing than Nature; also they are much easier to draw. When a cow came slouching by in the field next to me, a mere artist might have drawn it; but I always get wrong in the hind legs of quadrupeds. So I drew the soul of a cow; which I saw there plainly walking before me in the sunlight; and the soul was all purple and silver, and had seven horns and the mystery that belongs to all beasts. But though I could not with a crayon get the best out of the landscape, it does not follow that the landscape was not getting the best out of me. And this, I think, is the mistake that people make about the old poets who lived before Wordsworth, and were supposed not to care very much about Nature because they did not describe it much.

They preferred writing about great men to writing about great hills; but they sat on the great hills to write it. The gave out much less about Nature, but they drank in, perhaps, much more. They painted the white robes of their holy virgins with the blinding snow, at which they had stared all day. . . The greenness of a thousand green leaves clustered into the live green figure of Robin Hood. The blueness of a score of forgotten skies became the blue robes of the Virgin. The inspiration went in like sunbeams and came out like Apollo.

But as I sat scrawling these silly figures on the brown paper, it began to dawn on me, to my great disgust, that I had left one chalk, and that a most exquisite and essential chalk, behind. I searched all my pockets, but I could not find any white chalk. Now, those who are acquainted with all the philosophy (nay, religion) which is typified in the art of drawing on brown paper, know that white is positive and essential. I cannot avoid remarking here upon a moral significance. One of the wise and awful truths which this brown-paper art reveals, is this, that white is a colour. It is not a mere absence of colour; it is a shining and affirmative thing, as fierce as red, as definite as black. When, so to speak, your pencil grows red-hot, it draws roses; when it grows white-hot, it draws stars. And one of the two or three defiant verities of the best religious morality, of real Christianity, for example, is exactly this same thing; the chief assertion of religious morality is that white is a colour. Virtue is not the absence of vices or the avoidance of moral dangers; virtue is a vivid and separate thing, like pain or a particular smell. Mercy does not mean not being cruel, or sparing people revenge or punishment; it means a plain and positive thing like the sun, which one has either seen or not seen.

Chastity does not mean abstention from sexual wrong; it means something flaming, like Joan of Arc. In a word, God paints in many colours; but he never paints so gorgeously, I had almost said so gaudily, as when He paints in white. In a sense our age has realised this fact, and expressed it in our sullen costume. For if it were really true that white was a blank and colourless thing, negative and non-committal, then white would be used instead of black and grey for the funereal dress of this pessimistic period. Which is not the case.

Meanwhile I could not find my chalk.

I sat on the hill in a sort of despair. There was no town near at which it was even remotely probable there would be such a thing as an artist's colourman. And yet, without any white, my absurd little pictures would be as pointless as the world would be if there were no good people in it. I stared stupidly round, racking my brain for expedients. Then I suddenly stood up and roared with laughter, again and again, so that the cows stared at me and called a committee. Imagine a man in the Sahara regretting that he had no sand for his hour-glass. Imagine a gentleman in mid-ocean wishing that he had brought some salt water with him for his chemical experiments. I was sitting on an immense warehouse of white chalk. The landscape was made entirely of white chalk. White chalk was piled more miles until it met the sky. I stooped and broke a piece of the rock I sat on: it did not mark so well as the shop chalks do, but it gave the effect. And I stood there in a trance of pleasure, realising that this Southern England is not only a grand peninsula, and a tradition and a civilisation; it is something even more admirable. It is a piece of chalk.

One reason for prayer

"If we had the blessings without asking for them, we should think them common things; but prayer makes our mercies more precious than diamonds. The things we ask for are precious, but we do not realize their preciousness until we have sought for them earnestly."
~ Charles Spurgeon ~

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

"Our faith in letting it all hang out" - the religion of liberalism

This is an interesting article I read in the Int'l Herald Tribune just now... thought the points that the writer mentioned are very relevant. One reason why I think they're relevant is because the writer gets to the root of the matter in a sensible and well-balanced way - he notes the dogmatism of liberalism (note the irony LOL), and describes why people hang on to their beliefs. Think it'll help us in being more understanding and respectful of others' pple's beliefs and cultures, and why they believe in what they believe in, whether they be Christian, Muslim, atheists or liberals. As Fish says,
Concerned only to stand up for an abstract principle - free speech - they seize on whatever content happens to come their way and use it as an example of what the principle should be protecting. The fact that for others the content may be life itself is beside their point.





Our faith in letting it all hang out
Stanley Fish The New York Times
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2006
DELRAY BEACH, Florida

If you want to understand what is and isn't at stake in the Danish cartoon furor, just listen to the man who started it all, Flemming Rose, the culture editor of the newspaper Jyllands-Posten. Rose told Time magazine that he asked 40 Danish cartoonists to "depict Muhammad as they see him," after he noticed that journalists, historians and even museum directors were wary of presenting the Muslim religion in an unfavorable light, or in any light at all.

"To me," he said, this "spoke to the problem of self-censorship and freedom of speech." The publication of the cartoons, he insisted, "was not directed at Muslims" at all. Rather, the intention was "to put the issue of self-censorship on the agenda and have a debate about it."

I believe him. And not only do I believe that he has nothing against Muhammad or the doctrines of Islam, I believe that he has no interest (positive or negative) in them at all, except as the possible occasions of controversy.

This is what it means today to put self-censorship "on the agenda": the particular object of that censorship - be it opinions about a religion, a movie, the furniture in a friend's house, your wife's new dress, whatever - is a matter of indifference. What is important is not the content of what is expressed but that it be expressed. What is important is that you let it all hang out.

Rose may think of himself, as most journalists do, as being neutral with respect to religion - he is not speaking as a Jew or a Christian or an atheist - but in fact he is an adherent of the religion of letting it all hang out, the religion we call liberalism.

The first tenet of the liberal religion is that everything (at least in the realm of expression and ideas) is to be permitted, but nothing is to be taken seriously. This is managed by the familiar distinction - implied in the First Amendment's religion clause - between the public and private spheres. It is in the private sphere - the personal spaces of the heart, the home and the house of worship - that one's religious views are allowed full sway and dictate behavior.

But in the public sphere, the argument goes, one's religious views must be put forward with diffidence and circumspection. You can still have them and express them - that's what separates us from theocracies and tyrannies - but they should be worn lightly. Not only must there be no effort to make them into the laws of the land, but they should not be urged on others in ways that make them uncomfortable. What religious beliefs are owed - and this is a word that appears again and again in the recent debate - is "respect"; nothing less, nothing more.

The thing about respect is that it doesn't cost you anything; its generosity is barely skin-deep and is in fact a form of condescension: I respect you; now don't bother me.

This is, increasingly, what happens to strongly held faiths in the liberal state. Such beliefs are equally and indifferently authorized as ideas people are perfectly free to believe, but they are equally and indifferently disallowed as ideas that might serve as a basis for action or public policy.

Strongly held faiths are exhibits in liberalism's museum; we appreciate them, and we congratulate ourselves for affording them a space, but should one of them ask of us more than we are prepared to give - ask for deference rather than mere respect - it will be met with the barrage of platitudinous arguments that for the last week have filled the pages of newspapers.

One of those arguments goes this way: It is hypocritical for Muslims to protest cartoons caricaturing Muhammad when cartoons vilifying the symbols of Christianity and Judaism are found everywhere in many Arab countries. After all, what's the difference? The difference is that those who publish such cartoons in Arab countries believe in their content; they believe that Jews and Christians follow false religions and are proper objects of hatred and obloquy.

But I would bet that the editors who have run the cartoons do not believe that Muslims are evil infidels who must either be converted or vanquished. They do not publish the offending cartoons in an effort to further some religious or political vision; they do it gratuitously, almost accidentally. Concerned only to stand up for an abstract principle - free speech - they seize on whatever content happens to come their way and use it as an example of what the principle should be protecting. The fact that for others the content may be life itself is beside their point.

This is itself a morality - the morality of a withdrawal from morality in any strong, insistent form. It is certainly different from the morality of those for whom the Danish cartoons are blasphemy and monstrously evil. And the difference, I think, is to the credit of the Muslim protesters and to the discredit of the liberal editors.

The argument from reciprocity - you do it to us, so how can you complain if we do it to you? - will have force only if the moral equivalence of "us" and "you" is presupposed. But the relativizing of ideologies and religions belongs to the liberal theology, and would hardly be persuasive to a Muslim.

This is why calls for "dialogue," issued so frequently of late by the pundits with an unbearable smugness - you can just see them thinking, "What's wrong with these people?" - are unlikely to fall on receptive ears.

The belief in the therapeutic and redemptive force of dialogue depends on the assumption (central to liberalism's theology) that, after all, no idea is worth fighting over to the death and that we can always reach a position of accommodation if only we will sit down and talk it out.

But a firm adherent of a comprehensive religion doesn't want dialogue about his beliefs; he wants those beliefs to prevail. Dialogue is not a tenet in his creed, and invoking it is unlikely to do anything but persuade him that you have missed the point - as, indeed, you are pledged to do, so long as liberalism is the name of your faith.

Stanley Fish is a law professor at Florida International University.


From a Christian perspective, I think it's a matter of necessity to have some absolute tenets - not necessity of virtue, but rather, necessity of being. The reason why I believe in what I believe is simply because I believe what I believe is true. (You still with me? ;)) Like Fish said, "the content may be life itself", so I "believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen... in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father..."

So found this article meaningful, because in a way, I understand that different people have different beliefs, and some of these beliefs are a matter of life and death to them - and how would I feel if some people tried to force me to believe what I believe is wrong? In fact Christ never forced anyone to believe in Him:
From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.


That's the way God is - He, the most powerful One in the universe, before whom every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, is gentle and meek, lowly in heart. He does not force us to believe in Him, but simply asks us whether we want to follow Him or not.

And what's my response then? There are so many beliefs out there... but after examining the evidence, the words of Jesus and the lives of those who have decided to follow Him, I conclude together with Peter the fisherman:

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Reflections in the morning

Just woke up... a lot of things going thru my mind as i pray.
But tink the most overriding thing is the thot abt what Peter told me yesterday.
Somehow... i feel a bit more reassured, bcos i've been worrying abt what this or that person thinks of me, and the accompanying negative memories and thots that flow and the feelings of dismay, with "i ought to do this and that, then that person will be happy."

God, sorry... i'm glad that You are near, listening to what i've to share. You know my deepest fears, my weaknesses and insecurities, and You sit there, the Ancient of Days, with all infinite wisdom, and all infinite power - to save and destroy, to transform and preserve... You are the LORD Almighty!

Think all those negative thots can be traced back to this habit of looking at (and blaming others) instead of looking harder at myself.

Search me, Lord, and know my heart
Test me and know my anxious thots.
See if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.

"Fear is self-centred." I remember this from the book "Christian Living vol. 1". Change my fear into love, Lord, I pray. I ask this in Jesus' most precious name, amen.

Who, Yessir & Coffee - 3 Political Leaders

Pinched this hilarious dialogue (fictional!) from Edwin's bloggie... ROFL when I reached the line about Kofi... XD OMG it's funny liao...

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in
the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me
the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

What's the purpose of a blog then?

So after reading through 2 blogs, I felt very touched, encouraged and refreshed all in one go. Praise God indeed.

Then, actually, to be honest, i was reminded of one of my (dear) friends and his blog - I started feeling quite angry n yet quite sad when i thought of him, of his blog and his habit of negative put-pple-down speech... and yet... reminded of myself, that i have done the same thing before - and probably said and done far worse.

He's not a Christian, that's the thing... i wasn't a Christian before, and i see where my life went to... i'm reminded of this verse from Titus: "We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy..."

That's the thing... we all need God to forgive us our sins, and make us into new people. To paraphrase Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian during the Second World War, he said that in contrast to the Nazis' idea of an elite group of super-humans who would be perfect in every way, he realised that God's plan all along was to create a new race of humans - men no longer of the old dead race, but men redeemed and made brand-new - men who now have a new life, a life of love, a life that is SO real. A life that is truly life.

Just as Huanyan wrote, "Therefore, I am unable to prove God's existence except through my own personal experience. In fact, the best evidence of God's existence is our hearts, when He enters the 'void' and makes it His home."

aMeN, brother! :D

So am refreshed in this purpose of typing a blog - to encourage others of God's goodness, and at the same time, refresh ppl's hearts too.

Yup, think tt's one of the most wonderful things about being a Christian - God has given each and every one of us a unique meaning, purpose and direction... as the Scripture says,

"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"
- but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.


Dear friend, God has a wonderful plan for you, to use you to make a difference in this dying and suffering world. He wants to use you to truly impact other people's lives too - and this will never be by your own strength, desire or even efforts. Only Jesus can truly give you what your heart desires - a meaning, purpose and most of all, joy and peace in your heart.

Dear friend, God is REAL. God is GOOD. I've experienced His love, grace and power, and it is SO REAL - even to a hardened skeptic like me. He HAS changed my life through His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ. And He wants to use YOU to bring His love into others' lives. But you can only share what you have received. Would you like to invite Him into your heart today?

Another blog post from another blog! :D haha...

Hey... just read this from a dear sister's blog just now... hmm, linked from Huanyan's blog. Praise God, so very encouraged. here it is:

This part from her blog really struck me:
Beginning of February, SL asked me if i blogged and I told him no. He asked me why not and I told him lazy lai.. and I never like writing diary (reminds me of the bad and sad times which I have no intention of remembering at all). H/w, he told me that we can now use our blogs to share our walk with God and to inspire people with our testimony. At that time, I thot it was a great idea, but was lazy to walk out of my comfort zone and explore st different.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Hmm...
I ve always been a computer idiot and couldn't be bother with blogs. Have always thought that bloggin is an invasion of privacy and a waste of time.

Beginning of February, SL asked me if i blogged and I told him no. He asked me why not and I told him lazy lai.. and I never like writing diary (reminds me of the bad and sad times which I have no intention of remembering at all). H/w, he told me that we can now use our blogs to share our walk with God and to inspire people with our testimony. At that time, I thot it was a great idea, but was lazy to walk out of my comfort zone and explore st different.

On 9/2/06, I was about to start studyin when I was suddenly inspired to write about my walk with God in my notebook. The title was prayers and answered prayers. While I was tryin to recall the things I have prayed for and the prayers God has answered, I realised that I had to think very hard and there were lots of things to write about(feelings, thoughts and incidents). At this point of time, I realised that I should start a blog! For the first time, I wanted to share my testimonies with people. I wanted people to experience the goodness and the reality of God. Most of all, I wanted to remember every single step of my life with God, for the old has gone and the new has come. This new life is definitely something worth remembering and sharing...

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing that we have in christ." (phil 6)


Petrina dream on x 12:38 AM

A blog post tt I found v thought-provoking...

I read this entry from a brother's blog (thanks Huanyan! :)) just now... found it expressed very well something that's been in my heart just recently. Praise God, now I can save time - just copy and paste, no need to type my own... hahaha! ;D

Void
Friday, February 10, 2006

It sounds so strange, but today, I heard Ellson talking to this friend of ours, asking him to look into the sky tonight and get a feel how small and seemingly insignificant are we. And I decided that while I was walking home just now, to take a look at the sky, just a look, and yeah, we are so small..., mankind is just so small within the macrocosm of this universe. Just exactly two months ago, I would look at the sky, and get the feeling of emptiness and void within me. I wouldn't admit then, and I wouldn't even be bothered about it then.

But, friends, sometimes we reached home after a day of 'fun' and even so, we still feel a sense of void and emptiness in our heart, as if everything has lost its meaning and purpose. Sometimes, we got what we want but we do not feel the sense of achievement. Have you had that kind of feeling before?

But bear in mind, it's not a question of whether you are bored or not, but a question of whether do you feel fulfilled or not, it's the question of the 'void' in our heart. Cos if you are bored, all you need to do is to just party the night away and walaaa, you got rid of the boredom. Anyway, the failure to make the distinction between the void and the boredom is what a lot of us experience at time, and that resulted in a lot of us engaging in a lot of 'fun activities' such as partying to fill up the 'hole'. So what's the 'void'? And what are we doing about it?

This reminds me of a famous saying by Pascal: 'When Man is created by God, we are created with a space in our heart, it's a God-size void which only God can fill' (parahrased). Perhaps that is why, when the night is silent and the air is quiet, that when we are alone, we hear a voice, an unknown and yet familiar voice whispering to us. I dun know if some of the readers can identify with that, but certainly there's a voice which is constantly speaking to us. That is the voice of the One who is able to fill our 'God-size' void. Whether you take it or not, it's entirely up to you. I'm attemtpting to explain this void.

Eventually, I'm not going to prove to people the validity of my argument. Cos if God can be proven by empirical method, then he shouldn't be called God. That's also the reason why people failed in their try to prove the existence of God without letting him to fill up the void. Cos God is not the result of the kopitiam discussion, but the reason why we are able to sit in the kopitiam and discuss about Him. Therefore, I am unable to prove God's existence except through my own personal experience. In fact, the best evidence of God's existence is our hearts, when He enters the 'void' and makes it His home. That is the best proof and the beginning of a purpose driven life (not advertising for Rick Warren). As what He has said, 'I have come that they may have life and have it to the full' (John 10:10b)

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Hostel life

Now typing this in my room. Whoa, really want to thank God for such a good time in hostel... got to make some new friends, wif my neighbour - he's from Northeast China, and sister Tamar from Youth ministry (she's coming over to NUS ministry wif a whole bunch of other sisters v. soon).

Went room-to-room visiting wif QP, Mich, Tamar and Edwin on Monday or Tuesday (i think). Gosh, it was so fun! QP said, "Now this sem, Ridgeview is the place to be!" Yeah, 'cos imagine, being able to fellowship wif your bros n sisters n just chill out and chat at 1 am wif other hostel mates is really ... shiok! :D hahaha...

Must really thank God so much for His goodness... hostel life has helped me learn to take better care of myself, and in a way, assume more responsibility for my own life - transition to full-fledged adulthood. And after shopping for groceries 2 days ago, I'm really learning to appreciate my parents so so so much more... can really see how much they love me when they buy food for me and my sister, and simple things such as buying instant noodles for me to eat in hostel... Really really really want to thank God for them, realised it's not easy to take care of a family... hmm, haha 'cos in future I may want to start a family of my own too. =) 4 children would be good, yeah... but have'll to see what my bank account (and future wife) says. :)

Talking about children, children are indeed a blessing from God... hehe... ok learning to appreciate them too more and more. Actually, I feel quite shy around children, 'cos I don't really know how to handle/interact wif them... but I think wif more interaction and practice, I'll be able to bless them more.

Yet, at the same time it's not easy taking care of children. When I see the responsibilities of being a father... gosh, it's really a noble calling from God - and frankly, quite scary in a way... I'll be responsible for a whole life... and the sorrows and heartaches that will come my way. I know in a way... I remember how I behaved towards my parents when I wasn't a Christian last time... God, how much pain I caused them... really pray that I can be a good son to them in the years to come, to say "thank you" in a little way to them for all they've done for me all these years.

Oh, back to the title... ;) so hostel life is really fantastic, because I can also deco the interior of my room! You really should take a look at Tamar's room - it's BEAUTIFUL, the way she can deco... haha, so learnt a lot from her interior design skills. One of my dreams in future is to have a beautiful home that's large enough to accomodate an entire unit of brothers n sisters (that'll be about 20-30 people), and make it so sweet and comfortable for anyone who comes in, that he/she'll be ministered and refreshed. Really hope and pray that God'll use me and my future family to extend hospitality to both Christians and non-Christians with such a home. I've seen two such homes... wow, really want to learn more interior deco skills in the near future. Well, guess I can start with my own room. ;) So do come by for a visit anytime whenever you're free, dear friends; I've got food (but no drinks yet) for you! (Ridgeview Ext. Blk A, Room 807)

And on a lighter note, did you know that one jug of Dynamo detergent is cheaper ($3.10) than one bottle of Rejoice shampoo ($6.60)? Maybe I should use Dynamo to shampoo instead... ;D

Dynamo cleans your head like nothing else can.

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Hostel room! Thank God! :D (and some thoughts on prayer)

Now in my hostel room for the first time in 4 years. Wow... God has been very faithful to me, and feel very encouraged by His answering my prayer for a room.

'Cos He know that I need a room to stay in so that I can focus on my honours year project work, and also because I want to bless the other brothers and sisters - perhaps open the room up for CG, use it as a 'storeroom' of sorts for items, etc.

Very encouraged by His answer too, 'cos this shows that prayer can literally open doors... just like what Jesus said, "Knock, and the door shall be opened to you." What I mean is that, at the beginning of this sem, the room that I'm in now was originally taken up by another brother, Andrew. Since he had graduated last sem, I figured out that since he wouldn't be using this room anymore. So I emailed the Ridgeview office to ask them for the room, but they said I have to go onto the waiting list.

So I waited, and waited... prayed and asked God whether I should go down and ask them in person, but no reply from Him. So I decided to go ahead and try asking anyway, but never got around to doing it (since I was quite tired of pestering the OSA people... and I think the guy at the counter was starting to remember my face...) ;) Heh! Think God also wanted to show mercy to the OSA people... LOL! ;D ok just kidding...

Then at the end of the month, when the results of the waiting list was announced in due time, I got an email telling me that I got the room. Wow, thank God, so thankful He heard my prayer and answered it.

The funny thing is, the room that I had originally asked for (room 807) was the room that I was allocated! So, in a small way, I think, from this experience, God wanted to give me this room in answer to my prayer, and my prayer in a way made a difference.

It's a mystery how prayer works - personally, I think one of the most surprising things ever in this universe is that a small jolt of some (half-dead) neurons firing and some sound waves from a mouth can actually transcend time and space to reach some supernatural Deity whom no eye can see or ear can hear.

Crazy, isn't it? To be honest, I have this tendency to attribute it to coincidence... but the strange thing is, to paraphrase a Christian bishop (I can't remember exactly who), "True, it may just be a coincidence, but the thing is, when I pray, these coincidences seem to happen much more often."

And what about those who are not Christians, but claim that their god/deity, and not the God of the Bible, has answered their prayers? And/or is it the God of the Bible who has answered their prayers? Or is this a contradiction? After all, you do hear of strange things that happen when non-Christians pray... ever watched "Touched by an Angel" and other such-themed shows?

Mmm, for this question, I'm not exactly sure how some prayers come true, but knowing the heart and nature of God, I know He is compassionate and gracious. Even though the person who prays may not be a religious person or even pray to a different god, I think He sees the heart and the need of the person who's praying to him... and He graciously chooses to answer that prayer, even though He knows very well that the credit for the answered prayer'll go to another god, and not to Him alone. Wow... what a humble God God is. Just as Jesus said, "He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." (Luke 6:35c)

And the Bible is replete with examples of non-believers who, even though they didn't know the God of the Bible, chose to put their faith in Him and pray to Him. And He answered their prayers in miraculous ways. E.g. the sailors who threw Jonah overboard, Naaman the Aramean, Cornelius the Roman centurion...

And even the Athenian Greeks acknowledged the possibility of an unknown God, which Paul highlighted to them in his presentation to the Areopagus. "For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you..." (Acts 17)

Wow... i think the really amazing thing is not that God answers prayer, but that He actually cares enough to answers our prayers in the first place! Because the fact is, nobody ever deserves to have his/her prayers heard... by right, we all deserve to be kicked out of His courts to the place where we rightly belong. Yet the King graciously chooses to hear our needs all the same...

Then how about the issue of suffering? Aren't the cries of the victims of oppression being heard? Why would a loving God allow suffering to go on, seemingly deaf to the cries of those who are suffering?

The issue of theodicy (the problem of evil) has been one question that has perplexed many. Mmm... I can't write more on this (no time or space), but such an important topic cannot be treated lightly or dismissively, for the suffering of the poor and oppressed is something that is very, very, very close to God's heart. There are many good books written about it - personally, I think one of the best books to read would be C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain".

Personally, on the topic of pain, I've asked (more of ranted) to God why He'd let me be this and that... but the longer I walk with Him, the more He helps me understand why He let me be this and that. Over the years, somehow, I know more and more that He has been good to me, and even the bad and painful things that I have experienced in the past, He'll use it to His glory. Even now, I can see how, through these bad things, He has put a few people into my life who are currently struggling with what I've struggled before / am still struggling with. And frankly, the ironic thing is, as John Ortberg comments, "It is precisely here that we make one of the most surprising discoveries: Often it is the people closest to suffering who have the most powerful joy." From the squalid slums of Calcutta to the death-camp of Flossenburg, eye-witnesses have commented on the glowing gratitude and joy of the people who have suffered. How strange... yet, personally, I've seen this happen with my own eyes too.

They say that the best healer is a wounded healer, for only he can truly understand the pain and suffering of those whom he heals, for he himself has suffered as such.

Hmm... just some food for thought. Still, really thank God for His undeserved favour, that He's blessed me with this room... feel very touched and grateful to Him, 'cos I can use the room to bless other pple more too. And oh yeah, thank God for Tamar, a sister from the Youth service. Very blessed - and surprised - 'cos we had the opportunity to help one another - she helped clean my room (it was on her initiative) and even provided me with some stuff that I needed, and I helped her with some computer stuff.

Wow, God's timing is simply per-fect! :D Can't stop thanking Him for all that He's done - He is so so so good! :D

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Do the best i can do EVEN if it's a sucky failure ;)

Thank You Lord, feel so grateful to You... 'cos woke up late - felt angry wif myself, started dwelling, etc. etc...

felt lost, confused, angry wif myself and annoyed, all at the same time, 'cos was rushing to pack my stuff to bring into hostel today AND the fact that i'm late for class AND my luggage weighs a ton AND i'll be making another donation to the taxi company. Grunted to God tt the way i plan my time is total crap...

But God is very gracious... Somehow remembered what Ruey Fong had told me before, tt one thing i tend to do is waste little pockets of times dwelling on things and decisions. And this little song came to mind too...

"Jesus knows our every weakness /
Take it to the Lord in prayer..."

Yeah... :D tk God, felt ... wouldn't say "refreshed" or even "encouraged"... tink it's more of "supported". :D it's like, I felt God was standing there, my Father, watching me pack this and that and look for this and that... and He's showing me and reminding me what to bring and NOT to bring... patiently guiding me to help me pack my things.

:D

then feel very touched! even though i was still quite frustrated inside, He patiently "brought" a taxi along at EXACTLY the same time, and when the taxi driver saw me lugging my luggage along, he stopped for me. hahah...

sorta like my Dad "called" the taxi for me in advance. really touched by God's patience, grace, kindness, mercy and compassion.

yeah... He IS like that. When He came down and stood there with Moses and proclaimed His name, the LORD (i.e. His identity), He proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness..." Yup, the God of the Old Testament is the same yesterday and today and forever. :D

Hey it struck me... stood there WITH Moses...

He was standing there with me too. I dunno how leh, i mean, no big cloud came down... (i'd be scared out of my socks if He did THAT.) But... He was there.

**************
To be honest, I don't know whether He was there before or not, or whether He was standing there all along, but one thing I do know - HE WAS THERE.

Bcos can't an omnipresent God choose where He wants to be and where NOT to be? (remember, He's omnipotent too...)
**************

Anyway, as I was saying:
So I chucked my luggage into my room, took the bus to my lecture room... and found it empty. checked with my classmate, checked the forum, and found out that there's no lesson today. Cheh... the lecturer nvr emailed us leh... :P haha... not that i mind anyway! ;D

Think something I learnt more abt God thru tis experience... He knows my every weakness... and the worse thing is that i don't even try to work on my weaknesses... but still, He is so full of grace... no wonder He tells us to rejoice in Him, no matter what the circumstances... even His disciplining us is all part of His perfect plans... just accept the fact i sin, make mistakes and blow things up big-time, do the best i can do EVEN if it's a sucky failure and rely on God's unmerited favour to do what i cannot do.

"All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours...

Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory...
"


Ok now i really need to plan my time ahead.... today is the day He has made, so will rejoice n be glad in it!!! :D YaY!!!